In sports when an injured player can’t practice, he can still get “mental reps,” the coach says.
For a writer, that would be called day dreaming.
Tag Archives: writer
Monday morning writing joke: “The error of her ways.”
There was once a young woman who, in her youth, professed her desire to become a great writer.
When asked to define “Great” she said, “I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!”
She now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.
She’s well read, if not completely understood.
Filed under Monday morning writing joke
Monday morning writing joke: “The story of my life”
Three guys are sitting at a bar.
First guy: “Yeah, I make $75,000 a year after taxes.”
Second guy: “What do you do for a living?”
First guy: “I’m a stockbroker. How much do you make?
Second guy: “I should clear $60,000 this year.”
First guy: “What do you do?”
Second guy: “I’m an architect.”
The third guy sits there quietly, staring into his beer, and then the others turn to him.
Second guy: “Hey, how much do you make per year?”
Third guy: “I guess about $13,000.”
First guy: “Oh yeah? What kind of stories do you write?”
[Editor’s note: Last figures I heard was that the average writer makes less than $15,000 a year from his or her writing. Must be something more than money driving people to write. What drives you?]
Filed under Monday morning writing joke
Monday morning writing joke: “Heaven or Hell?”
A writer died and was given the option of going to heaven or hell.
She decided to check out each place first. As the writer descended into the fiery pits, she saw row upon row of writers chained to their desks in a steaming sweatshop. As they worked, they were repeatedly whipped with thorny lashes.
“Oh my,” said the writer. “Let me see heaven now.”
A few moments later, as she ascended into heaven, she saw rows of writers, chained to their desks in a steaming sweatshop. As they worked, they, too, were whipped with thorny lashes.
“Wait a minute,” said the writer. “This is just as bad as hell!”
“Oh no, it’s not,” replied an unseen voice. “Here, your work gets published.”
Filed under Monday morning writing joke
Food for literary thought
Phillip Pullman
–Philip Pullman
Filed under Freeform Friday, writing quotes
Monday morning writing joke: “Pox review”
I wrote a response, but chickened out and didn’t send it.
I’m a writer and I don’t get no respect. Just yesterday I saw a review of my latest novel. The critic said: “This book will leave its marks on literature — like chicken pox.”
Couldn’t she have at least said, “small pox”?
Filed under cartoon by author, Monday morning writing joke, no respect
Monday morning writing joke: “Best seller”
Sometimes “coal” comes in strange forms.
I’m a writer and I don’t get no respect. Just the other day, I saw Santa Claus. I said, “Hey Santa, I want a best seller. Just one best seller. That’s all I ask. That’s all I work for. Can you help me out?”
On Christmas morning I found a Stephen King novel under my tree. A used one at that.
Filed under cartoon by author, Monday morning writing joke, no respect, writer
Writing Tip Wednesday: NO SUCH THING AS WRITER’S BLOCK?
by BRUCE HALE
http://clicks.aweber.com/y/ct/?l=O8uEK&m=JmGfH2oV7FLsQz&b=LL0Iif2G_NnGJtQ4.3UMsw
One of the most common questions I get is, “What do you do about writer’s block?” It’s hard to answer. Not because I don’t know,
but because I don’t really believe in writer’s block.
I mean, think about it. We’re the only profession that romanticizes avoiding our work. You don’t hear accountants talking about ‘accountant’s block,’ or dentists moaning, “I couldn’t remove that molar today, Bob; I had dentist’s block.”
But here we sit with our holy bugaboo, writer’s block. Now, don’t get me wrong — I do believe that we have days when it’s hard to write, but I label that as plain old, garden-variety fear and resistance. The same fear that keeps you from asking out someone you ave a crush on (fear of failure). The same resistance that keeps you from starting that new exercise regimen (resistance to change).
Fear and resistance are debilitating enough on their own without giving them a catchy name. So let’s just deal with them the way we do whenever and wherever they show up in our lives. (And no, I don’t mean by surrendering.)
PERFECTION IS THE ENEMY
I’ve noticed that when I feel fear around my writing, it’s usually the fear that it won’t be good enough. Perfection syndrome is insidious, and the only way to beat it is to address it head-on.
First, realize that nothing you write will EVER be perfect — even stories that get published. You can look back at a story you published nine years ago and see things you’d do differently today. Perfection is unattainable.
I think honestly, the best we can shoot for is “as good as I can make it right now.”
So once I’ve given myself permission to write an imperfect first draft, I just jump right into it and start. I write as quickly and sloppily as I can, never minding about proper form, just getting my ideas down on paper (or computer). I know I can always improve the story in the revision stage.
WRITING WARM-UPS
But say you have trouble even getting to the stage of writing a first, sloppy draft. What then? Just as you would with physical exercise, try doing some brief warm-ups before your writing session. You could do a personal journal, or write a journal from your character’s point of view. You could assign yourself a random topic or write about a memory.
One of my favorite ideas is to compile a Bradbury List. Just like Ray Bradbury did when he was a young writer, come up with a list of titles off the top of your head, drawing from childhood fears and fantasies. Then, as a warm-up, pick one title, set your egg timer for 10 minutes, and write a stream-of-consciousness entry about it. Don’t try to craft a story; just let the writing flow.
You may find that you pick up some good material for a future story. You may just get past that initial fear of the blank page and ease into your writing flow. And you may just discover there’s no such thing as writers block.
Here’s the signup link:
http://clicks.aweber.com/y/ct/?l=O8uEK&m=JmGfH2oV7FLsQz&b=LL0Iif2G_NnGJtQ4.3UMsw
Filed under Writer's Block, Writing Tip Wednesday
I’m a writer and I don’t get no respect: blowing your own horn
Sometimes it’s hard to blow your own horn.
I recently attended a music festival to try to sell some of my books when I overheard one musician say this about my writing to another musician: “His writing reminds you of a clarinet — a wind instrument.”
Monday morning writing joke: no accounting for taste
Sometimes, there’s just no accounting for taste.
I tell ya, I’m a writer and I don’t get no respect. I just got back from my quarterly beating … I mean meeting with my accountant. We went over my deductions as a writer. He said I should be careful what I claim. After we’re done and I’m leaving, he leans over and tells his partner, “He writes books nobody will read and checks nobody will cash.”
Since when did accountants become book critics? Cook ’em, yeah, but read one and have an opinion? Next time he puts his two cents in, I’ll make sure it’s in the right column, the one for trash. I know only too well where that one is.
Filed under cartoon by author, Monday morning writing joke
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