There once was a writer from Cincinnati /
whose prose was laced with profanity. /
Damn, shit, hell /
often started the tales he’d tell. /
Mom never let me reach their finality.
***
A wise person once said:
We all love to spend money buying new clothes but we never realize that the best moments in life are enjoyed without clothes.
Filed under 2015, Monday morning writing joke, poetry by author
There once was a writer from Spokane, /
Who knew not where his stories began. /
No matter how hard he’d fiddle — /
Even stating at the end or the middle; /
It’d all end up in the trash can.
***
Three lobbyists walked into a bar last night. The politicians were waiting.
Filed under 2015, Monday morning writing joke, poetry by author
There once was a writer from Nashville, /
Who wrote enough songs to fill up a landfill. /
He’d write lyrics all day /
As if he had something to say /
Then sing them for an audience of daffodils.
***
Three creationists accidentally walked into a tar pit last night. In 6,000 years nobody will care.
Filed under 2015, Monday morning writing joke, poetry by author
There once was a writer from the Vatican /
Whose soul job was to write about sin, but then /
He wondered: what can I say /
About troubles today /
That gives evil an original spin again.
***
A dyslexic writer walks into a bra.
Filed under 2015, Monday morning writing joke, poetry by author
There once was a writer from Lexington /
Who had four daughters, but no son. /
He cried and he sighed /
And he wanted to know why. /
Then he made all his heroes be women.
***
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.
Filed under 2015, Monday morning writing joke, poetry by author
There once was a writer from Maine /
Who wrote about the strange and insane. /
“Your writing reminds me of King.” /
Those words would always sting, /
Until he stuffed their remains down the drain.
***
A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, “I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.”
Filed under 2015, Monday morning writing joke, poetry by author
There once was a writer of fiber /
Whose morning had a high moral driver. /
A bowl of bran flakes /
Is all that she partakes, /
And the output does more than inspire her.
***
An invisible man marries an invisible woman. Their kids were nothing to look at either.
Filed under 2015, Monday morning writing joke, poetry by author
There once was a writer of fright /
who could make her readers stay up all night./
With a stroke and boo, /
boy, she could do it to you, too. /
Oh, for such chills and delights!
Filed under 2015, Monday morning writing joke, poetry by author
There once was a man of erudition /
who took to writing science fiction. /
His thoughts were transcendent, /
his paragraphs perfectly indented, /
but still something got lost in transmission.
Filed under 2015, Monday morning writing joke
There once was a writer of erotica /
whose own life was not a like a lot of ya. /
She would write it all day /
but come time to go play /
she couldn’t quite “bare” the thought of ya.
Filed under 2015, Monday morning writing joke
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