The Devil’s Dictionary: “Corporation, Congress, Lobbyist, Tea Party”

A young Ambrose Bierce

A young Ambrose Bierce

In our continuing quest to revisit a classic, or even a curiosity from the past and see how relevant it is, we continue with The Devil’s Dictionary by Ambrose Bierce. Originally published in newspaper installments from 1881 until 1906. You might be surprised how current many of the entries are.

For example, here is a definition for the words Corporation and Congress. The Old definitions are Bierce’s. The New definition is mine. From time to time, just as it was originally published, we will come back to The Devil’s Dictionary, for a look at it then and how it applies today. Click on Devil’s Dictionary in the tags below to bring up the other entries.

OLD DEFINITION
Corporation, n. An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility.

Congress, n. A body of men who meet to repeal laws.

NEW DEFINITION
Corporation, n.The only think I could add to corporation is: An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility. Peopled with overcompensated executives whose sole purpose is to privatize the profit and socialize the debt. In the vernacular: heads, I win (I get to keep the profit); tails you lose (You have to cover the bad debts).

A fine example of a place where congressing takes place. A place where good governing goes to die.

A fine example of a place where congressing takes place. A place where good governing goes to die.

Congress, n. A body of men and women who meet to repeal laws, generally at the behest of a corporation. This is now true of both the federal Congress and the state Congresses throughout the U.S.

Lobbyist, n. Paid influence peddler, bag man for the corporation, general thief in the night whose sole purpose on behalf of corporations is to see that Congress understands which laws are to be repealed or weakened, and how this should be done, particularly since too many lobbyists are former elected officials. Lobbyists can promote on behalf of other entities and not only corporations, but the goal is generally the same.

Tea Party, n. Cult subset of the GOP, and thus a subset of Congress. Money fueled by extreme right wing corporations and billionaires. Known for lack of ability to get what it wants, so it succeeds at punishing everybody, especially the GOP, of which it is supposedly part. Claims to be for personal responsibility, except when taking responsibility for its actions. Then it blames the media and the Washington establishment.
[Editor’s note: lobbyist and Tea Party were not terms in use when The Devil’s Dictionary was created. This entry was originally listed in 2012, but is updated to include the Tea Party. ]

Final word:
“It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress.” –MARK TWAIN

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Photo finish Friday: “A night, a fright, a bite”

"I want to suck your nuts."

“I want to suck your nuts.”

Under the guise of holiday détente, a contingency of nutcracker vampires met with their counterparts from Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter and the other holidays.

Citing how pumpkins and candy are traditionally part of Halloween, the leader of the group said, “If Thanksgiving can have pumpkin pies, and Christmas can have candy canes, I do not see why we can’t have Halloween nutcrackers.”

When advised that they could still not get their way, the Halloween nutcrackers stormed out of the discussions and threatened to “shut down the Holidays until we get our way.”

With Halloween soon approaching, no one is sure if Halloween we care forth on its threat to shut down the Holidays. Stay tuned for late breaking developments.

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Haiku to you Thursday: “night”

Clouds part into night /

Raindrops sparked in moonlight /

Winter reaches home.

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Monday morning writing joke: “double take”

It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.

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Sunday Shameless Self-Promotion: “I am a winner!”

Below is an e-mail I received recently in regards to a contest I entered earlier this year.

Award winning writers

Award winning writers

Congratulations to all who won. No contest is easy to enter. You are putting your writing out there and hoping it will attract the right readers and judges. Among the judges for these contest categories are nationally and even internationally known writers, for example, Michael Knight, The Typist, and Glenn Meade, Resurrection Day, as well as published and awarding-winning poets William Pitt Root and Pam Uschuk. Now, if you look under the Crime/Mystery category you find that the first-place winner is (and this is the shameless self-promotion) me. I won for submitting a section of my novel, The Painted Beast, about a once-lionized cop who finds true heroism in saving his family and in so doing saving himself.

Anyway, here is the e-mail:

Thanks to everybody for waiting so patiently for our contest to wrap up. Winners were announced at the October guild meeting and have been posted to the KWG web site, but I wanted to follow up via email as well for the sake of those who didn’t make it to the meeting and who may not have their eyes trained on the web site. Prizes were awarded as follows:

Leslie Garrett Prize – judged by Michael Knight, Author
1. ) Milk House Water, by Rita Welty Bourke
2. ) A Fine Party, by Phyllis Gobbell

SciFi/Fantasy – judged by Debra Dixon, Publisher, Belle Bridge Books
1. ) Remi Bids Farewell, by Wendy Jo Rogers
2. ) Flight of the Victory, by Zachariah Foster
3. ) The Gersemian Relic, by Jeff L. Horner

Crime/Mystery – judged by Glen Meade, Author
1. ) The Painted Beast, by David E. Booker
2. ) Wheels of Justice, by Robert W. Godwin
3. ) World of their Own, by Mark Freeman

Novel Excerpt – judged by Dr. Alan Wier, Professor of English, UT, Knoxville
1. ) Where You Ought to Be, by Jane Sasser

Creative Nonfiction – judged by John Adams, Author
1. ) True Love, One Story in the Life of an Innkeeper, by Stephanie Levy
2. ) Where There’s Smoke, by Eli Mitchell
3. ) Playing by Ear, by Phyllis Gobbell

Poetry – judged by William Pitt Root and Pam Uschuk, Poets
1. ) Jane Sasser
2. ) Eli Mitchell
3. ) Cathy Kodra

Youth Poetry – judged by William Pitt Root and Pam Uschuk, Poets
1. ) Noah Gurley
2. ) Christian Cain
3. ) Eric Nutter

Youth Fiction – judged by Flossy McNabb, Co-Owner Union Avenue Books
1. ) Melancholy Discord, by Isabel Gellert
2. ) Follow Your Hands, by Vanessa Slay
3. ) Deciding Justice, by Alyssa J. Stewart

Plays – judged by Dr. Deborah Anderson, Professor of Theater, MTSU
1. ) Sold, by Mark McGinley

Thanks for entering the contest. We look forward to reading another great batch of entries next year.

The KWG Contest Committee
www.knoxvillewritersguild.org

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Spaced In

In case you are thinking about seeing the film, here is a “non-professional” reviewers look at the film.

Tom Dupree's avatarYou and Me, Dupree

GRAVITYGRAVITY is every bit as good as you’ve heard. It’s not just a nail-biting thriller, not just far and away the best cinematic depiction of what it’s like to be in space, not just the finest performance ever from Sandra Bullock. Even more important, it introduces new concepts to the language of film: swirling, swooping, gyroscopic curvatures that observe no earthbound rules, that can take you inside a space helmet and out again without cuts or dissolves; the opening shot alone lasts for nearly 13 minutes. They’ll have to invent a new term to describe this constantly malleable point of view. But the story doesn’t stop long enough to let you ponder “how’d they do that?”* For all I know, they built some rockets and shot two game movie stars into Earth orbit. You’ve never seen anything like this. Nobody has.

It’s a howling, crowd-pleasing, eye-popping triumph for director/co-writer Alfonso Cuaron. His resume is…

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Photo finish Friday: “Bones”

He didn't think this was, in any way,  horsin' around.

He didn’t think this was, in any way, horsin’ around.

Mr. Ed had gone out drinking with his friends last night, but work up this morning with a terrible hangover and a skeleton painted on his body. He did not find it funny. It was probably the jack ass next door who did it. Crept over in the middle of the night and painted on him while he was passed out. He’d get even with him. Hey, nobody trifled with him and got away with it. He was nobody’s mule.

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Haiku to you Thursday: “Leaves in full color”

Leaves in full color /

taste the crisp air of autumn, /

skirt the ground with death.

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Writing tip Wednesday: “Write before you know”

The Case for Writing a Story Before Knowing How It Ends

By JOE FASSLER

Andre Dubus III, author of Dirty Love and The House of Sand and Fog, explains why the best work happens when you “back the fuck off.”

By Heart is a series in which authors share and discuss their all-time favorite passages in literature.

Full article at: http://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2013/10/the-case-for-writing-a-story-before-knowing-how-it-ends/280387/

Novelists tend to fall into two camps. Some authors love their outlines—they plot and plan and schematize and think their way through problems. John Irving is one example; he spends months outlining his novels in advance, and when he puts pen to paper, he knows exactly what will happen. Other authors, meanwhile, feel their way through. When they sit down at the desk, anything can happen: They lose themselves in the dark on purpose, and follow the light of strangeness and surprise. Flannery O’ Connor, whose stories revealed their structure over the course of many drafts, worked this way.

The latter approach can sound odd, even shamanistic. What do novelists mean when they say things like my character showed me the way? But my conversation with Andre Dubus III, whose new book Dirty Love is out this week, addressed the challenges and joys of writing without pre-determination. We discussed what it means to write into the unknown, how to do it, and why writers should.

Dirty Love contains four linked novellas about love and betrayal in a coastal town. In the first story, a cuckolded man stalks his wife with a video camera; in the last, a young woman’s world is shattered when a sexually explicit image of her surfaces online. Dubus is the author of books including The House of Sand and Fog (a finalist for the National Book Award), The Garden of Last Days, and Townie. He talked to me by phone from his house north of Boston.

Andre Dubus III: Years ago, I read a book called Letters to a Fiction Writer, which asked about 20 established writers to send their best advice out into the world. There were a lot of heavy hitters in there offering truly wise and helpful advice. But the one that’s stayed with me over the years, from Richard Bausch, has become a sort of mantra for me:

Do not think, dream.

We’re all born with an imagination. Everybody gets one. And I really believe—this is just from years of daily writing—that good fiction comes from the same place as our dreams. I think the desire to step into someone else’s dream world, is a universal impulse that’s shared by us all. That’s what fiction is. As a writing teacher, if I say nothing else to my students, it’s this.

Full article at: http://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2013/10/the-case-for-writing-a-story-before-knowing-how-it-ends/280387/

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cARtOONSDAY: “sHUTdOWN”

The sequestration of the imagination.

The sequestration of the imagination.

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