Q.: What is the capital of the United States of Zombies?
A.: Brainerd, Minnesota.
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Q: What’s the nickname of the United States of Zombies?
A: The Brain Drain.
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Q.: What do you call a Zombie sink?
A.: A Brain Drain.
Tag Archives: zombie
Monday morning writing joke: “zombies, part 1”
Q.: What did a zombie engineer say to a non-zombie engineer about an engineering problem he was working on?
A.: “I’ve come to pick your brains.”
Q.: Why was the zombie disappointed with his date with a leggy blond woman?
A.: She was already brainless.
Filed under Monday morning writing joke
Monday morning writing joke: “eaten”
Q. If a writer were turned into a zombie, whose brains would he eat first?
A. His critics’.
Filed under Monday morning writing joke
Monday (morning) writing joke: “Dead again,” part 2
In honor of all the zombie movies over the past year, and books about zombies and other dead creatures, here is the second of two or three “dead” jokes, puns, bits of humor. Groan as you see fit.
Q.: What do you call…
…a race between zombies?
A.: A dead run.
…a warm day for zombies?
A.: A dead heat.
…a zombie who ate his girlfriend?
A.: A dead ‘n’ ate her.
…a zombie in an explosion?
A.: Dead bone air.
…somebody killed by a medieval zombie?
A.: Dead of knight.
…a zombie politician too long in office?
A.: A deadencated public servant.
.…a lobbyist?
A.: Dead weight.
…500 zombie lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A.: Habeas corpses.
Zombies and Valentine’s Day
Undying love
by David E. Booker
Stolen flowers; stolen moments
Of these things I am a proponent.
Human heart upon a chair,
Fitting complement to your candy ’wear.
Office supplies, engraved utensils;
Box of dead chocolate, bundle of thistles.
Your preserved nipple tattooed o’er my heart.
It’s not a good one, but it’s a start.
So now I sit and wait, a zombie for your love
As I pluck the feathers of a very disgruntled dove.
A feather for your thoughts.
Filed under cartoon by author, holiday, poetry by author, zombies
Silly Saturday: “Baker’s twine”
Baker’s Twine
by DAVID E. BOOKER
Baker’s twine, baker’s twine
Upon their heads we will dine
Like cake pops on a stick of spine
Wrapped and tied with Baker’s twine.
Baker’s twine, baker’s twine
Hanging there so refined
Sandwiches dangling by the twine
Without a brain, I make one mine.
Baker’s twine, baker’s twine
Upon a Sandwich I did dine
I ate it all, including the twine
Now I don’t feel quite feel so fine.
Some days you get the sandwich and some days the sandwich gets you.
Filed under cartoon by author, poetry by author, Silly Saturday
cARtOONSdAY: “cOMIC rELIEF”
Sometimes the punch line comes when you least expect it.
Filed under cartoon by author, CarToonsday
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