Filed under 2021, Monday morning writing joke
A chicken and a detective-fiction writer waited in line to see Santa Claus.
When the chicken got up on Santa’s lap, it immediately laid an egg, which it gave to Santa.
When the writer sat on Santa’s lap, he also laid an egg.
“That’s amazing!” Santa said.
“Nah,” said the writer. “That’s just a copy of my latest work, a hard-boiled mystery. It’s pretty good, but it does tend to crack toward the end.”
Filed under Monday morning writing joke
Q.: What do Santa Claus and a struggling writer have in common?
A.: Some people believe in them; other people don’t.
Filed under Monday morning writing humor
Q: What’s the difference between a novelist and a politician?
A: One gets paid to tell lies; the other lies to get paid.
Filed under Monday morning writing joke
There once was a man so mean /
his face was too ugly to be seen. /
He was banned from sight /
so as not to give fright — /
except for the night called Halloween.
The man and his amulet.
Filed under Monday morning writing joke, poetry by author
1st person: Why did the author cross the road?
2nd person: I don’t know, why?
1st person: To catch the agent on the other side.
2nd person: Why did the agent cross the road?
1st: To catch the editor on the other side.
2nd: And why did the editor cross the road?
1st: To catch the publisher on the other side.
2nd: Okay, then why did the publisher cross the road?
1st: He was following the chicken.
And why did the writer cross the road?
Filed under Monday morning writing joke, Photo by author
Q.: How many screenwriters does it take to change a light bulb?
A.: Ten.
1st draft: Hero changes light bulb.
2nd draft: Villain changes light bulb.
3rd draft: Hero stops villain from changing light bulb. Villain falls to death.
4th draft: Lose the light bulb.
5th draft: Light bulb back in. Fluorescent instead of tungsten.
6th draft: Villain breaks bulb, uses it to kill hero’s mentor.
7th draft: Fluorescent not working. Back to tungsten.
8th draft: Hero forces villain to eat light bulb.
9th draft: Hero laments loss of light bulb. Doesn’t change it.
10th draft: Hero changes light bulb.
Filed under Monday morning writing joke
“The play’s the thing….”
Filed under cartoon by author, Monday morning writing joke
Critic: He wanted to be a novelist. He has achieved his ambition: a bad novelist.
Reminds me of the joke,
Question: “What’s the difference between a writer and a bad writer?”
Answer: “The critic.”
Or…
“A ‘critic’ is a man who creates nothing and thereby feels qualified to judge the work of creative men. There is logic in this; he is unbiased—he hates all creative people equally.”
– Robert A. Heinlein, novelist
Novelist Robert A. Heinlein autographing one of his works.
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