“Dear Willard, we the undersigned characters of your novel Ground Out have decided to move in another direction and no longer require your services….”
Tag Archives: writing humor
Monday morning writing joke: “That look”
First writer: All my characters have a certain look.
Second writer: And what look is that?
First writer: The one they give me every time I try to get them to do something.
Filed under Monday morning writing joke
cARtOONSDAY: “dANGLING”
Dangling toes may or may not have anything to do with dangling modifiers.
Filed under cartoon by author, CarToonsday
Monday morning writing joke: “new cliché”
A fellow writer contacted me the other day and said he needed a new cliché.
A new cliché? I asked.
Yes. His editor had told him that it was okay for a character to use it in speech, but the character couldn’t use the one the writer had chosen. His editor said younger readers today wouldn’t know what “When my ship comes in” means. But, the writer said, I can’t think of a newer cliché. Even a made up on that might work. But it has to involve the arrival of something big. Can you help me?
I told him to call me back in a couple of hours and I would see what I could do.
A couple of hours passed and when he called back, I said, I have it.
Good, he said, what is it.
I said, Have your character say, “When my plane arrives on time, I’ll be a rich man.”
That’s about as likely as my ship coming in, the writer said.
Exactly, I said.
Filed under Monday morning writing joke
cARtOONSDAY: “tHE hOLE sTORY”
Some holes are harder to dig out of than others.
Filed under cartoon by author, CarToonsday
Monday (morning) writing joke: “Hair Raising”
Finn McCool, the Irish writer, was out drinking to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day, when he decided, at the first ribbon of morning light, to return home. He stumbled into the kitchen to find his dog sitting at his chair, eating his morning meal. He cursed the dog and tried shoving him off the chair, to which the dog muttered something, bit him on the arm, and left.
The next day, his arm was so swollen and painful, he couldn’t write, so the Irish writer decided to go drinking again to deaden the pain. The next morning, he stumbled home, his arm throbbing and found a hare sitting at his place eating his breakfast.
“Who are you,” the writer bellowed, weaving his way toward the table. “Who the hell are you?”
The hare ignored him.
The writer drew closer. I said, “Who the hell are you?!”
This time the hare looked at him, dabbed a napkin at his split upper lip and said, “If you must know, I am the hare of the hound that bit you.”
Filed under Monday morning writing joke
Vonnegut responds: “experience becoming”
Eight years ago, students at my high school wrote to their favorite authors asking them to visit. Kurt Vonnegut was the only one who responded, writing this beautiful and humorous letter.
Filed under authors
Monday morning writing joke: “Dog gone.”
Writers and leaves.
Last night I walked into a bar, followed by a dog.
“Hey,” the bartender barks out, “we don’t serve your kind.”
I pointed to the dog and said, “He’s not with me.”
The bartender stared at me. “I ain’t talking about him.”
Filed under Monday morning writing joke, no respect
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