There once was a party writer from Beijing /
Who couldn’t get published one thing. /
So, he took an American name /
And tried publishing all the same: /
Suddenly his words had a following.
***
Two cannibals are eating a comedy writer. One says to the other: “Does this taste funny to you?”
The other says: “No, and it doesn’t even taste like chicken.”
Filed under 2015, Monday morning writing joke, poetry by author
There once was a woman from Paris /
Who fell in love with an American named Harris. /
Their love life was bilingual /
But their sports lives wouldn’t mingle: /
For each, football broke up their wedded bliss.
***
Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Minnie says to Moo, “I was artificially inseminated this morning.”
“I don’t believe you,” says Moo.
“It’s true, no bull!” exclaims Minnie.
Filed under 2015, Monday morning writing joke, poetry by author
There once was a writer from France /
who worked too hard to have her chance. /
Living down by the Seine /
Her friends thought her deranged, /
when insane across the Seine she did dance.
***
A writer walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says, “A beer please, and one for the road.”
Filed under 2015, Monday morning writing joke, poetry by author
There once was a gossip columnist extraordinaire /
Who told stories that weren’t even there. /
If you called him a liar /
He’d only pile it on higher, /
Because he had a few lies to spare.
***
A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. “But why,” they asked, as they moved. “Because,” he said, “I can’t stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer.”
Filed under 2015, Monday morning writing joke, poetry by author
Reading the writing led Willard to wonder what went wrong.
Filed under 2015, cartoon by author, CarToonsday
There once was a writer from Cincinnati /
whose prose was laced with profanity. /
Damn, shit, hell /
often started the tales he’d tell. /
Mom never let me reach their finality.
***
A wise person once said:
We all love to spend money buying new clothes but we never realize that the best moments in life are enjoyed without clothes.
Filed under 2015, Monday morning writing joke, poetry by author
And some days the demon wrote better drafts than Willard did.
Filed under 2015, cartoon by author, CarToonsday
Two writers were sitting in the corner of a library arguing over words. One of the writers was named Dick, the other one Nathan, though most people called him Nary.
After being shushed a few times, the library lost her composure and yelled, “Dick and Nary, shut up or I throw the book at you.”
“Bridge or unabridged?” Nary asked.
Word has it that nary a moment passed before Nary knew not what hit him. And though Dick escaped unharmed, Dick or Nary was never found at that library again.
Filed under 2015, Monday morning writing joke
There once was a writer from Spokane, /
Who knew not where his stories began. /
No matter how hard he’d fiddle — /
Even stating at the end or the middle; /
It’d all end up in the trash can.
***
Three lobbyists walked into a bar last night. The politicians were waiting.
Filed under 2015, Monday morning writing joke, poetry by author
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