Tag Archives: writing humor

cARtOONSdAY: “wRITING sPICE”

He did find some interesting okra.

He did find some interesting okra.

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Filed under 2016, cartoon by author, CarToonsday

Monday morning writing joke: “Smile”

There once was a writer in town /

Who frowned when the critic came around. /

Still, he tried one day /

To smile anyway: /

The day he saw the critic gagged and bound.

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Filed under 2016, Monday morning writing joke, poetry by author

cARtOONSdAY: “fREE rEADING”

Young Willard liked to read, but he wasn't sure he wanted a Free Adult for doing it. He already had two. Wasn't that enough?

Young Willard liked to read, but he wasn’t sure he wanted a Free Adult for doing it. He already had two. Wasn’t that enough?

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Filed under 2016, cartoon by author, CarToonsday

Early morning writing joke: “Cost”

A writer, a priest, and a politician walk into a bar.

After a few drinks, the politician walks over to the priest and says, “I hate to admit it, father, but I have told some pretty big whoppers in my time.”

“I’m sure,” the priest says. “I have probably heard them all.”

The politician pauses for a moment and then says, “How could you? I’m not Catholic. I’ve never been to confession. Some of my biggest ones have been in private.”

“I’m a priest. We know these things.”

The politician takes his drink and quickly leaves.

The priest then turns to the writer. “Now, what is your problem?”

“Well, father, in my time, in order to make ends meet, I have written for politicians, even crafting some of their ‘big whoppers.’ Including some said in private.”

“So you know what I’m talking about and you came seeking forgiveness?”

“No, father. Until you scared him off, I came to get paid.”

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cARtOONSdAY: “mETAPHOR mERCHANDISE”

Cut-rate character creation wouldn't hurt, either.

Cut-rate character creation wouldn’t hurt, either.

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Filed under 2016, cartoon by author, CarToonsday

New Year Inspiration

Need writing inspiration for the new year? Consider this: Today, January 2nd is Run it up the Flagpole and See if Anyone Salutes Day. Just remember to keep it brief.

underwear up flagpole2

January 2nd: Keep it brief.

For those of you with a food inclination, the month of January is National Soup Month and National Oatmeal Month. Now, I have never seen nor tasted an Oatmeal soup, but who knows, 2016 could be the year.

January is also National Bath month. I hope that doesn’t mean you are only supposed to take only one this month. If so, some people might be too ripe too soon for me to have the stomach to eat anything, let alone Oatmeal Soup.

It is also National Braille Literacy Month. If you can’t read Braille, does that mean you suffer from tactile dysfunction? Does Cialis have a pill for that?

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Filed under 2016, Random Access Thoughts, Uncategorized

cARtOONSdAY: “yEAR tO dATE”

Still, he keeps trying.

Still, he keeps trying.

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Filed under 2015, cartoon by author, CarToonsday

Monday morning writing joke: “Anticipation”

Once upon a time a wannabe novelist finds a magic lantern. He rubs it and a genie appears. He had heard about the writer who asked to be a bestseller and that genie turned that writer into a book, so he thought he should try a different tack.

Instead, he asks his genie to speak to a bestselling fiction writer.

“It will take all three of your wishes to summon a person for you to talk to. If I do that, you will only get to ask this writer three questions.”

The wannabe writer sighs and nods his head. The genie waves his arms and the bestselling novelist appears.

The wannabe writer thinks for a moment, then asks: “What does it take to write a bestseller?”

The fiction writer says, “A novel, usually.”

The wannabe writer considers objecting, but sees the sharp look in the genie’s eyes and decides to move on to his next question. This time he tries to be clever, just like the novelist, and hopes to catch the novelist off-guard. “Okay, what was novel about your fiction writing?”

“That I wrote it,” said the novelist.

Frustrated, the wannabe writer tries to think up one question that will help him. Finally, he asks: “How long should a bestseller be?”

“Long enough,” the writer says, and then disappears.

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cARtOONSdAY: “nOVEL iDEA”

Percentages

Percentages

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cARtOONSdAY: “pERIOD tHERAPY”

Is there a difference between a Freudian period and a Jungian one?

Is there a difference between a Freudian period and a Jungian one?

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Filed under 2015, cartoon by author, CarToonsday