There was a plaque near the elephant statue that read, “In honor of Ron-on’s founder Bull Derum.”
“Why not a bull statue?” Gumshoe asked.
“It’s a mystery,” the lawyer said.
Filed under 2016, cartoon by author, CarToonsday
A writer walks into a bar – it knocks him down.
A writer walks into a police station – she hasn’t a clue why she came.
A writer walks into a psychiatrist’s office wearing women’s clothes – including a Freudian slip.
A writer runs for political office – she figures she couldn’t be any more rejected and if she does get elected, the pay would be better and the hours easier.
Filed under 2016, Monday morning writing joke
Penny claimed they wanted to draw and quarter her, and she said she would half none of it. He told her to hang on, he would get there as soon as he could.
Filed under 2016, cartoon by author, CarToonsday
Four writers get in a car. It’s pouring rain. The car won’t start.
Horror writer scribbles: “Brad and Elaine were trapped. It was the worst night of their lives. The wind was howling and the monster was, too.”
Romance writer scribbles: “Brad had always hoped for a chance alone with Elaine. And now in the rain, in a broken car, he had that moment.”
Comedy writer scribbles: “Brad had always hoped for a chance alone with Elaine. And now in the rain, in a car whose engine wouldn’t turn over, he had that moment – until, unlike the engine, his indigestion turned over on him.”
Contemporary fiction writer scribbles: “Brad had always had trouble with two things in life: women and cars. Now he was trapped by a heavy rain in a broken car with a woman he barely knew, who was soaking wet and crying and blubbering about her life being ruined. Brad could not find the words to console her, but searching around for a rag for her to use to dry her eyes, he found a hammer, and considered using it on either the car or the woman. Was it a sign? Was it supposed to use it or try to figure out why in life when he was handed lemons, he wasn’t even able to make lemonade.”
Filed under 2016, Monday morning writing joke
Foul play never had it so good.
Filed under 2016, cartoon by author, CarToonsday
Four writers get in a car. It’s pouring rain. The car won’t start.
Technical writer: “Do you have the owner’s manual? Have you read it?”
Marketing writer: “Hey, look, the cup holder still works!”
Grant writer: “Maybe we can apply for funds to find out why the car doesn’t start.”
IT writer: “Hey guys, I have an idea. How about we all get out of the car and then get back in?”
Filed under 2016, Monday morning writing joke
Sometimes the muse was not a-musing.
Filed under 2016, cartoon by author, CarToonsday
The mother-in-law drops by for a visit with her daughter, but finds her son-in-law, Robert, in a blind rage and slamming stuff into his suitcase.
“What happened, Robert?” she asks.
“What happened? I’ll tell you what happened! I sent an e-mail to my wife telling her I was coming home early from my writing conference. I get home … and guess what I found? Your daughter, my wife, Jean, naked with Jack Murphy in our bed! This is unforgivable, the end of our marriage. I’m done. I’m leaving forever!”
“Ah now, calm down, calm down, Robert,” says his mother-in-law. “There is something very odd going on here. Jean would never do such a thing. There must be a simple explanation. I’ll go speak to her immediately and find out what happened.”
Moments later, the mother-in-law comes back with a big smile. “Robert, I told you there was a simple explanation. She said she never got your e-mail!”
Filed under 2016, Monday morning writing joke
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