The portmanteau became a home
For a girl, her dog, and a gnome.
Providing shelter from rain,
Hiding from the Sleaze gone insane,
They piled leaves on top like a dome.
Tag Archives: words
Leaves on top like a dome
Filed under humor, limerick, poem, poetry, portmanteau, Random Access Thoughts, story poem, words, writing
For a day in paperwork she spent
Returning to the Lady from Kent:
To the police department she went
To file a complaint
About the portmanteau that ain’t.
And for a day in paperwork she spent.
Filed under humor, limerick, poem, poetry, portmanteau, Random Access Thoughts, story poem, words, writing
Hex a mubble skibble fritz
“O’, hex a mubble skibble fritz.
Your life is what you make of its.”
Prancing up and down the shore,
He’d bark that and nothing more.
“O’, hex a mubble skibble fritz.”
Filed under poem, poetry, portmanteau, Random Access Thoughts, story poem, words, writing
All around heard silly sound
Tossing the cloak upon the ground,
The Sleaze barked forth the words he’d found.
He barked loud, far and near.
He barked loud, for all to hear.
But all around heard silly sound.
Filed under humor, poem, poetry, portmanteau, Random Access Thoughts, words, writing
Meant to be written and not spoke
The Sleaze pried open the Portmanteau
Hoping to find out what he didn’t know.
Inside was a brown cloak,
And a note that was a joke
Meant to be written and not spoke.
Filed under humor, limerick, poem, poetry, portmanteau, Random Access Thoughts, story, story poem, words, writing
One girl with all her might
The Full Moon was high in the night
When Sleaze saw the horrible site.
People in camps and in tents,
Like sinners waiting to repent.
But one girl hid with all her might.
Filed under humor, limerick, poem, poetry, portmanteau, Random Access Thoughts, story poem, words, writing
And his mind did a dangerous flip
The Sleaze bolted forth and jumped ship,
Taking the “valise” along as a conscript.
He floated ashore,
Holding portmanteau’s door,
And then his mind did a dangerous flip.
Filed under humor, limerick, poem, poetry, portmanteau, Random Access Thoughts, story poem, words, writing
Did not take to stress well
The captain, upon inspecting his vessel,
Found a suitcase too big yet to wrestle.
Finally shoving it aside,
He grabbed for Sleaze’s hide –
Chasing a man who did not take to stress well.
Filed under limerick, poem, poetry, portmanteau, Random Access Thoughts, words, writing
Puns for the Educated
Books and Glasses
And as a writer, I enjoy a little play on words.
1. King Ozymandias of Assyria was running low on cash after years of war with the Hittites. His last great possession was the Star of the Euphrates , the most valuable diamond in the ancient world. Desperate, he went to Croesus, the pawnbroker, to ask for a loan. Croesus said, “I’ll give you 100,000 dinars for it.”
“But I paid a million dinars for it,” the King protested.”Don’t you know who I am? I am the king!”
Croesus replied, “When you wish to pawn a Star, makes no difference who you are.”
2. Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid bowlers. Unfortunately, all the Swiss league records were destroyed in a fire …. and so we’ll never know for whom the Tells bowled.
3. A man rushed into a busy doctor’s office and shouted, “Doctor! I think I’m shrinking!” The doctor calmly responded, “Now, settle down. You’ll just have to be a little patient.”
4. A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins that could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. One day, his supply of the birds ran out so he had to go out and trap some more. On the way back, he spied two lions asleep on the road. Afraid to wake them, he gingerly stepped over them. Immediately, he was arrested and charged with… transporting gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises.
5. Back in the 1800’s the Tate’s Watch Company of Massachusetts wanted to produce other products, and since they already made the cases for watches, they used them to produce compasses. The new compasses were so bad that people often ended up in Canada or Mexico rather than California . This, of course, is the origin of the expression … “He who has a Tate’s is lost!”
6. A thief broke into the local police station and stole all the toilets and urinals, leaving no clues. A spokesperson was quoted as saying, “We have absolutely nothing to go on.”
7. An Indian chief was feeling very sick, so he summoned the medicine man. After a brief examination, the medicine man took out a long, thin strip of elk rawhide and gave it to the chief, telling him to bite off, chew, and swallow one inch of the leather every day. After a month, the medicine man returned to see how the chief was feeling. The chief shrugged and said, “The thong is ended, but the malady lingers on.”
8. A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his name missing from the town register. His wife insisted on complaining to the local civic official who apologized profusely saying, “I must have taken Leif off my census.”
9. There were three Indian squaws. One slept on a deer skin, one slept on an elk skin, and the third slept on a hippopotamus skin. All three became pregnant. The first two each had a baby boy. The one who slept on the hippopotamus skin had twin boys. This just goes to prove that … the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides.
10. A skeptical anthropologist was cataloging South American folk remedies with the assistance of a tribal Brujo who indicated that the leaves of a particular fern were a sure cure for any case of constipation. When the anthropologist expressed his doubts, the Brujo looked him in the eye and said, “Let me tell you, with fronds like these, you don’t need enemas.”
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