On the political front:
A member of Parliament to Disraeli: “Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease.”
“That depends, Sir,” said Disraeli, “whether I embrace your policies or your mistress.”
[Editor’s note: Only the line “Sir, I knew Jack Kennedy and you’re no Jack Kennedy” comes close to this in recent U.S. politics. Too bad we don’t have more of it.]
“He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts… for support rather than illumination.”
Andrew Lang (1844-1912)
Do opposites attract?
“He had delusions of adequacy.”
Walter Kerr
“He is a self-made man and worships his creator.”
John Bright
“He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.”
Winston Churchill
Words for the dead and dying:
“I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”
Mark Twain
“I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.”
Clarence Darrow
“I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.”
Irvin S. Cobb
On the literary front:
“He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.”
William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)
“Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I’ll waste no time reading it.”
Moses Hadas
Literary point and counterpoint:
George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill:
“I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one.” –
Winston Churchill, in response:
“Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second …. if there is one.”
Musical accompaniment:
“He has Van Gogh’s ear for music.”
Billy Wilder
Instead of saying your mother wears army boots:
“His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.”
Mae West
“He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.”
Forrest Tucker
For the man (or woman) who has everything:
“He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.”
Oscar Wilde
“I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here.”
Stephen Bishop
“He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others.”
Samuel Johnson
“He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.”
Paul Keating
“In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.”
Charles, Count Talleyrand
When the evening has come and gone not the way you hoped:
“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.”
Oscar Wilde
“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.”
Groucho Marx
The last word, or not:
“Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?”
Mark Twain
Booker's Blog 