Fowl play
The turkey showed up for /
Thanksgiving. /
His goose was cooked.
.
.
Not my photo, but needed something to go with my short, humorous poem. I call the creation in the photo a turcrabasage.
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#thanksgiving #poem #poetry #photo #november #davidebooker #saturday #humor #2021 #112021
Filed under 2021, parody, photo, poetry, Poetry by David E. Booker
There once was a woman from Tangier /
Who had a wolf on her head, it appears. /
It would not go away /
Not even on Thanksgiving Day. /
He said, “By Christmas, I’ll have eaten you, my dear.”
Filed under 2018, Monday morning writing joke, poetry by author
At least during this National Novel Writing Month, Willard remembered to thaw the bird before trying to bake it.
Filed under 2015, cartoon by author, CarToonsday
A turkey and a writer walked into a local bar.
The turkey thought the writer could make him a flying star.
“I’ll tell you my life story and then you’ll write it down.
“And we’ll split all the profits when a publisher is found.”
The writer had heard such talk and promises before,
But with his feathers spread, the turkey was too big to ignore.
Getting to the heart of the matter.
The writer reached into his tattered pocket and drew out his carving knife.
What happen next to the turkey, we’re not sure we can ever tell
Only that the poor writer liked the bird, but only medium well.
Now, let this be a lesson about where the writer will start.
The pen may be mightier than the sword, but the knife can cut to the heart.
–by David E. Booker
Filed under 2015, Holidays, Monday morning writing joke, poetry by author
Turkey Day coming: /
cranberries, pumpkin pie, nuts /
and relatives, too.
Filed under Haiku to You Thursday, poetry by author
He didn’t understand why people were avoiding him. Granted, he had gotten up late, so he had to skip a few of the normal morning rituals, but he had showered the night before and brushed his teeth before he went to bed. And thus far this morning, he’d only had half a cup of tea. So, what was the big deal? His hair may have been a bit of a tangle, but his clothes were fresh.
He couldn’t understand it.
Then he understood it even less: women he didn’t know and had never met began giving him that slightly coy, come hither look. The one that starts with her glancing away when their eyes first meet, then with her head slightly cocked and her eyes slightly closed, she turns her gaze back to him and smiles that promisingly wicked half smile. One woman even circled her tongue over her lips.
They weren’t the type of women who were usually attracted to him, so why now?
He went to rest room in his office to comb his hair. Maybe they were making fun of him. That’s when he looked in the mirror.
He was frightened.
No, he was scared!
How could this be? Whom had he offended? What deity or person with near-divine powers had done this to him?
He tried to make a mental list of who could have done this to him. It was as much a list of distraction as a true list of candidates. There was Elinor over in accounting, whom he had snubbed at a company gathering. Not on purpose, but just the same. Then there was Bob, his neighbor, whose cat was always digging in his flowers. Not that he liked flowers all that much, but he liked the cat even less. And…
Sometimes the new you is thrust upon you.
He only hoped he didn’t wake up with a turkey face as the days left Halloween and drew closer to Thanksgiving.
Filed under Photo by author, Photo Finish Friday
“I want to suck your nuts.”
Under the guise of holiday détente, a contingency of nutcracker vampires met with their counterparts from Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter and the other holidays.
Citing how pumpkins and candy are traditionally part of Halloween, the leader of the group said, “If Thanksgiving can have pumpkin pies, and Christmas can have candy canes, I do not see why we can’t have Halloween nutcrackers.”
When advised that they could still not get their way, the Halloween nutcrackers stormed out of the discussions and threatened to “shut down the Holidays until we get our way.”
With Halloween soon approaching, no one is sure if Halloween we care forth on its threat to shut down the Holidays. Stay tuned for late breaking developments.
Filed under Photo by author, Photo Finish Friday
The meal and the grace,
the sustenance and the hope,
each handled with love.
Filed under Haiku to You Thursday, poetry by author
I woke to turkeys on full parade,
A dark flock of birds on a chocolate promenade.
I was sure it was a trip to a tryptophanic place
Where there existed another wild turkey race.
One was cross-eyed, one was four eyed.
One, I saw, gave me the evil eye.
Yet these fowl could not be what they seemed,
Full of butter and chocolate and maybe even cream.
With candy corn beaks and truffle cheeks,
one stepped forward and started to speak.
“We come to you from a way off land,
We have a proposal we hope you find grand.
Chocolate turkeys on parade
“If I pardon one, what will happen to the rest?”
The cupcake turkeys did their best
Not to laugh at my stupidity
But an answer to my question, they wouldn’t give me.
So I picked up one and ate him straight away.
Then I ate another before he could say:
“We come in peace, don’t you know.
We came to you, because we’ve no place to go.”
I gobbled and gobbled until I had my fill.
Then the three I hadn’t eaten stood very still.
With chocolate frosting smeared across my face,
I’m sure they wished they’d skipped the human race.
“Which one of you do I pardoned?” I said with a leer.
They stared at me as if I hadn’t been clear.
“I will eat two and save one.
“That is how a Turkey’s pardon’s done.”
The three immediately tried to scramble.
But cupcake turkeys can barely amble.
And as far as they got was the edge of my bed,
Where they had everything to fear. One had lost its head.
But of these turkeys, I could eat no more.
Because my stomach was incredibly sore.
It was rumbling, grumbling, beginning to roar
And felt as if the turkeys inside were trying to soar.
So I give you this warning, should they come your way.
One headless turkey and two friends dismayed.
Enjoy a little less of these chocolate treats.
Unless you want to feel like you’ve been eat.
Filed under blathering idiot, choclate, humor, poem, poetry, story poem, turkey
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