Tag Archives: Tennessee

Haiku to you Thursday: “More than Memories”

Mourn their memories

Pick a town, small town. /

Erase all the people there. /

More than memories.

.

.

#haiku #poem #covid_19 #tennessee #town #november #thursday #2020 #deaths

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Haiku to you Thursday: “This Day”

This day

Part of the morning. /
Thoughts of another’s life. /
His moment or mine?

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Filed under 2020, Haiku to You Thursday, photo by David E. Booker, Poetry by David E. Booker

Monday morning writing joke: “Writer from Tennessee”

There once was a writer from Tennessee

Who wrote several good mysteries.

Her writing wasn’t horsing around

Except when horses were around

Then her private eye was riding high for his fee.

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Filed under 2020, Monday morning writing joke, photo by David E. Booker

Photo finish Friday and haiku: “Tennessee”

The sign almost glowed,/
the word and the memories /
welded moments.

Tennessee 100dpi_8x5_4c_4711b copy

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Filed under 2018, Haiku to You Thursday, photo by David E. Booker, Photo Finish Friday, poetry by author

Top misspelled word in each state

Bananas or banannas? These are the top misspelled words in each state

Where do you fit in?

 

Mary Bowerman , USA TODAY Network

Source: https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2017/05/29/scripps-national-spelling-beetop-misspelled-words-state/352919001/

EDITOR’S NOTE:  A previous version of this story stated Wisconsin’s most misspelled word was “tomorrow” based on Google-provided data. A Google update with more current data found that the most misspelled word is actually Wisconsin.

Spelling champions from across the country are preparing to compete this week at the Scripps National Spelling Bee in Washington, D.C.

While we’ve all cringed after misspelling a word in a work email or a text, the National Spelling Bee competitors will be asked to spell words that make the word “chihuahua” look like a walk in the park.

In honor of those who aren’t as gifted as the National Spelling Bee champs, Google pulled the most misspelled words in each state so far this year.

Here’s a look at the most misspelled search words in each state:

Alabama: pneumonia
Alaska: schedule
Arizona: tomorrow
Arkansas: chihuahua
California: beautiful
Colorado: tomorrow
Connecticut: supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
Delaware: hallelujah
Washington, D.C. : ninety
Florida: receipt
Georgia: gray
Hawaii: people
Idaho: quote
Illinois: pneumonia
Indiana: hallelujah
Iowa: vacuum
Kansas: diamond
Kentucky: beautiful
Louisiana: giraffe
Maine: pneumonia
Maryland: special
Massachusetts: license
Michigan: pneumonia
Minnesota: beautiful
Mississippi: nanny
Missouri: maintenance
Montana: surprise
Nebraska: suspicious
Nevada: available
New Hampshire: difficult
New Jersey: twelve
New Mexico: bananas
New York: beautiful
North Carolina: angel
North Dakota: dilemma
Ohio: beautiful
Oklahoma: patient
Oregon: sense
Pennsylvania: sauerkraut
Rhode Island: liar
South Carolina: chihuahua
South Dakota: college
Tennessee: chaos
Texas: maintenance
Utah: disease
Vermont: Europe
Virginia: delicious
Washington: pneumonia
West Virginia: supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
Wisconsin: Wisconsin
Wyoming: priority

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Photo finish Friday: “Lights out”

[Editor’s note: usually my Photo finish Friday has a photo I have taken, but today, I am taking on off the Internet, along with the story. Below the photo and story is a poem “inspired by actual events” as they would say on the TV show Law and Order.]

Christian mom alarmed that school bus tail lights form ‘pagan’ pentagram

(Screen capture) The bus and lights in question.

(Screen capture) The bus and lights in question.

by David Ferguson

Source: http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2015/01/christian-mom-alarmed-that-school-bus-tail-lights-form-pagan-pentagram/

A Christian mom in Cordova, Tennessee is worried that occult influences are lurking in her town and showing their presence in the unlikeliest of places, the red tail lights of local school buses.

Memphis’ Action News 5 reported Wednesday that Robyn Wilkins snapped a photo of the tail lights while she sat behind a bus in traffic. To her, the pattern of tiny light bulbs under each brake light’s red plastic lens looked like inverted five-pointed stars, which form the ancient symbol of the pentagram when enclosed by a circle.

“Anyone who fears a God, if not God and Jesus Christ, should be outraged,” the worried mother told Channel 5.

Pentagrams are a sacred symbol to various ancient faiths. Some Satanists and occultists have adopted it as their holy symbol, but other faiths use it as well.

Wilkins and other concerned parents have taken to social media to protest the brake lights, which they say constitute a sacred symbol emblazoned on a government vehicle.

“If you can’t put a cross on there, you cannot put a pentagram on it,” said Wilkins.

She believes the lights should be removed from the buses and replaced with a single red bulb.

The Shelby County School District declined to comment to Channel 5 about the brake lights.

To see a video report, go to: http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2015/01/christian-mom-alarmed-that-school-bus-tail-lights-form-pagan-pentagram/

***

Poem inspired by actual events.

I heart for Satan

by David E. Booker

I heart for Satan,
the Star of all consternation.
He sends me into shambles
when I see pentagramables
on buses near and far
even the one in front of my car.
My child rides that school bus.
It must be driven by one who lusts
for my child’s immortal soul —
O’ the future is foretold.
He’s lost to education
in this god-forsaken nation.
O’ when will it ever end
so that my life can begin again?
I heart for Satan,
the Star of my consternation.
It is Him I love to hate
and blame when my son self-relates.
His powerful stain is everywhere —
my whitewashing work cannot compare.
I heart for Satan,
the Star of my consternation.
Someday my child will move away
and then Satan and I can play.

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Photo finish Friday: “‘All’ Hallows’ Eve”

And then a hand reached up and took it ALL. Happy Halloween!

And then a hand reached up and took it ALL.
Happy Halloween!

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The Bookstore Strikes Back

The Bookstore Strikes Back – Ann Patchett – The Atlantic.

Parnassus Books

by Ann Patchett

Author opens an independent bookstore to fill a need.

Address: 3900 Hillsboro Pike, Nashville, TN 37215
Phone:(615) 953-2243

Two years ago, when Nashville lost its only in-town bookstores, the novelist Ann Patchett decided to step into the breach. Parnassus Books, which Patchett and two veteran booksellers envisioned, designed, financed, and manage, is now open for business and enjoying the ride.

In late February I am in my basement, which is really a very nice part of my house that is not done justice by the word basement. For the purposes of this story, let’s call it the Parnassus Fulfillment Center. I have hauled 533 boxed-up hardback copies of my latest novel, State of Wonder, from Parnassus, the bookstore I co-own in Nashville, into my car; driven them across town (three trips there and three trips back); and then lugged them down here to the Parnassus Fulfillment Center. Along with the hardbacks, I have brought in countless paperback copies of my backlist books as well. I sign all these books and stack them up on one enormous and extremely sturdy table. Then I call for backup: Patrik and Niki from the store, my friend Judy, my mother. Together we form an assembly line, taking orders off the bookstore’s Web site, addressing mailing labels, writing tiny thank-you notes to tuck inside the signed copies, then bubble-wrapping, taping, and packing them up to mail. We get a rhythm going, we have a system, and it’s pretty smooth, except for removing the orders from the Web site. What I don’t understand is why, no matter how many orders I delete from the list, the list does not get shorter. We are all work and no progress, and I’m sure something serious must be going wrong. After all, we’ve had this Web site for only a week, and who’s to say we know what we’re doing? “We know what we’re doing,” Niki says, and Patrik, who set up the Web site in the first place, confirms this. They explain to me that the reason the list isn’t getting any shorter is that orders are still coming in.

You may have heard the news that the independent bookstore is dead, that books are dead, that maybe even reading is dead—to which I say: Pull up a chair, friend. I have a story to tell.

The reason I was signing and wrapping books in my basement is that more orders were coming in than the store could handle, and the reason so many orders were coming in is that, a few days before, I had been a guest on The Colbert Report. After a healthy round of jousting about bookstores versus Amazon, Stephen Colbert held a copy of my novel in front of the cameras and exhorted America to buy it from Amazon—to which I, without a moment’s thought (because without a moment’s thought is how I fly these days), shouted, “No! No! Not Amazon. Order it off ParnassusBooks.net, and I’ll sign it for you.” And America took me up on my offer, confirming once and for all that the “Colbert bump” is real. That explains how I got stuck in the basement, but fails to answer the larger question of what a writer of literary fiction whose “new” book was already nine months old was doing on The Colbert Report in the first place. Hang on, because this is where things get weird: I was on the show not because I am a writer but because I am a famous independent bookseller.

Let’s go back to the beginning of the story.

Two years ago, the city of Nashville had two bookstores. One was Davis-Kidd, which had been our much-beloved locally owned and operated independent before selling out to the Ohio-based Joseph-Beth Booksellers chain 15 years earlier. Joseph-Beth moved Davis-Kidd into a mall, provided it with 30,000 square feet of retail space, and put wind chimes and coffee mugs and scented candles in front of the book displays. We continued to call it our “local independent,” even though we knew that wasn’t really true anymore. Nashville also had a Borders, which was about the same size as Davis-Kidd and sat on the edge of Vanderbilt’s campus. (In candor, I should say that Nashville has some truly wonderful used-book stores that range from iconic to overwhelming. But while they play an important role in the cultural fabric of the city, it is a separate role—or maybe that’s just the perspective of someone who writes books for a living.) We have a Barnes & Noble that is a 20-minute drive out of town without traffic, a Books-A-Million on the western edge of the city, near a Costco, and also a Target. Do those count? Not to me, no, they don’t, and they don’t count to any other book-buying Nashvillians with whom I am acquainted.

In December 2010, Davis-Kidd closed. It was profitable, declared the owners from Ohio, who were dismantling the chain, but not profitable enough. Then, in May 2011, our Borders store—also profitable—went the way of all Borders stores. Nashvillians woke up one morning and found that we no longer had a bookstore.

The rest of the story at: http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2012/12/the-bookstore-strikes-back/309164/?single_page=true

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Stacey-I-am

Tennessee state Senator Stacey Campfield

Tennessee state Senator Stacey Campfield

I am Stacey.
Stacey I am.

That Stacey-I-am!
That Stacey-I-am!
Do you not like
That Stacey-I-am?

Do you not like
My flavor of ham?

I do not like you
Stacey-I-am
I do not like
Your favor of ham.

Would you like it
Here or there?

I would not like it
Here or there.
I would not like it
Anywhere.
I do not like
Your flavor of ham.
I do not like it,
Stacey-I-am.

Would you like it
In a senate or a house?
Would you like it
With a correct spouse?

I would not like it
In a senate or a house
I would not like it
And neither does my spouse.
I do not like it
Here or there.
I do not like it anywhere.
I do not like your flavor of ham.
I do not like you, Stacey-I-am.

Would you like it
In a box?
Would you like it
On Faux News Fox?

Not in a box.
Not on Faux News Fox.
Not in a senate or a house.
Not with my spouse.
I do not like it here or there.
I do not like it anywhere.
I do not like your flavor of ham.
I do not like you, Stacey-I-am.

Would you? Could you?
In a stadium?
I could wear a mask
And create some mayhem.

I would not, could not
In a stadium.

You may like it.
You will see.
You may like it
On TV!

I would not, could not on TV.
Not in a stadium! You let me be.
I do not like it in a box.
I do not like it on Faux News Fox.
I do not like it in a senate or a house.
I do not like it with a correct spouse.
I do not like it here or there.
I do not like it anywhere.
I do not like your flavor of ham.
I do not like you, Stacey-I-am.

A plane! A plane!
Could you, would you
On a plane?
The monkey can fly while I explain.

Not on a plane! Not in a stadium!
Not in a mask! Stacey, stop the mayhem!
I would not, could not, in a box.
I could not, would not, on Faux News Fox.
I will not and neither will my spouse.
I will not like you in a senate or a house.
I will not like you here or there.
I will not like you anywhere.
I do not like you, Stacey-I-am.

Say!
In the dark?
Here in the dark!
Would you, could you, in the dark?

I would not, could not,
in the dark.
Though from the dark
Is where you hark.

Would you, could you,
on voting day?
We can starve children
And “Don’t Say Gay.”

I would not, could not, on voting day.
Not in the dark. Not in any way,
Not in a stadium, Not on TV.
I do not like you, Stacey, you see.
Not in a house. Not in a box.
Not with my spouse or Faux News Fox.
Not in a plane. Not in a mask.
I do not like you, so don’t ask.
I do not like you here or there.
I do not like you anywhere!

I do not like
Your type of ham.
I do not like you
Stacey-I-am.

So when it comes
Election day
I’ll pull the lever
And send you away.

Stacey Campfield on TV.

Stacey Campfield on TV.

–with apologies to Dr. Seuss. Parody by David E. Booker

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Filed under poetry by author, political humor

Monday morning writing joke: “Passing the buck”


[Editor’s note: the below article is true. No names were changed, not even the filing location: Bulls Gap. In the words of Mark Twain: “Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn’t.” — Following the Equator, Pudd’nhead Wilson’s New Calendar. Now, as a writer, what can you make of this bit of news?]

Woman hospitalized to remove stolen $5,000 from rectum

by JEFF BOBO

BULLS GAP — A theft charge is pending against a Hawkins County woman who allegedly stole $5,000 from her boyfriend and was then hospitalized for injuries suffered attempting to remove the cash from her “hiding place.”

Around 1 a.m. Tuesday, the Hawkins County Sheriff’s Office was dispatched to the home of Bobby Gulley, 249 North Ridge Road, Bulls Gap, on a complaint that his girlfriend was stealing from him.

Gulley told HCSO Sgt. Michael Allen he’d “set a trap” for Christie Black, 43, also of that address, by placing two envelopes containing $4,000 and $1,000 in $100 bills in an old medicine bag.

The medicine bag was then placed on a foosball table and Gully went to bed.

Gulley said that when he woke up, he noticed Black was still awake, but the medicine bag and cash were missing.

When Gulley confronted Black with the theft, Black reportedly vomited up a baggy containing partially dissolved pills.

“He then asked her where the money was, and she admitted to him she’d wrapped it up and stuck it in her rectum,” Allen stated in his report. “Black admitted (to Allen) to taking the money and medication because Mr. Gulley was going to kick her out and she needed money for a place to live.”

Source and the rest of the story: http://www.timesnews.net/article/9066805/woman-hospitalized-to-remove-stolen-5-000-from-rectum

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