Tag Archives: Sunday

Sunday silliness: two poems in response to Facebook postings

[Editor’s note: both of these poems I wrote in quick fashion, a bit of silliness, a bit of fun. Taking maybe 30 minutes each, at most.]

Minister of the dart

O’ minister of the dart
whose aim is true,
sending the dart flying
threw and through.

Toward the bull’s eye
your throw did wend
with an aim so perfect
your foes became friends.

O’ minister of the dart
whose aim is true
I’ve never seen a bull cry,
until now. Have you?

Written on March 5th in response to a Facebook posting by Chris Buice, minister at the Tennessee Valley Unitarian Universalist Church in Knoxville, TN, in which he wrote about throwing the winning dart in a game that gone so long that even his opponents cheered.

_____________

That four-foot long

Put that four-foot long
back where it belongs —
don’t leave it out in the aisle.
Put back that four-foot long
with the smell so strong —
don’t leave it in a public pile.
Put away that four-foot long
you silly ding-dong —
even at Fellini we have a style.
A code we relate
no need to masticate
or pretend to be in denial.
So, put that four-foot long
back where it belongs —
don’t leave it out for public trial.

Written on March 9th in response to a Facebook posting by Brian Griffin about being in the Fellini Kroger in Knoxville, TN. If you don’t know, you can use Google and find out all about it. There is even a Fellini Kroger Facebook page and another for Friends of Fellini Kroger. As far as anyone can tell, the Italian director never set foot in Fellini Kroger … at least not in this plane of existence.

And in case you are wondering, the four-foot long is a sausage, not a snake, though who knows, someday that may happen in Fellini K.

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40 Worst Book Covers and Titles Ever | Bored Panda

40 Worst Book Covers and Titles Ever | Bored Panda.

Not sure I agree with all the selections here, but an interesting collection. Might even spark conversation if not contemplation.

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General ‘Jerry’ Boykin Says Gun-Toting Jesus Will Lead ‘Mighty Army’ During Second Coming

General 'Jerry' Boykin Says Gun-Toting Jesus Will Lead 'Mighty Army' During Second Coming.

Are you ready for the “rough and ready” Jesus? One not feminized by the church?

And to think my tax dollars went to pay for the training and the salary of this “general.” God help us.

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8 Starship Enterprise Facts Every Trekker Should Know – Neatorama

8 Starship Enterprise Facts Every Trekker Should Know – Neatorama.

 

To boldly go where no man has gone before, you’d need a really good starship – and to launch Star Trek, the pop culture phenomenon that entertained and inspired millions, you’d need a pretty darned good one! And that is exactly what the United Space Starship Enterprise delivered. Here are 8 Starship Enterprise facts every Trekker should know:

1. Meet the REAL Enterprise (Several of Them, Actually)

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Essay: Anatomy of the Deep State | Blog, Perspectives | BillMoyers.com

Essay: Anatomy of the Deep State | Blog, Perspectives | BillMoyers.com.

There is the visible government situated around the Mall in Washington, and then there is another, more shadowy, more indefinable government that is not explained in Civics 101 or observable to tourists at the White House or the Capitol. The former is traditional Washington partisan politics: the tip of the iceberg that a public watching C-SPAN sees daily and which is theoretically controllable via elections. The subsurface part of the iceberg I shall call the Deep State, which operates according to its own compass heading regardless of who is formally in power. [1]

During the last five years, the news media has been flooded with pundits decrying the broken politics of Washington. The conventional wisdom has it that partisan gridlock and dysfunction have become the new normal. That is certainly the case, and I have been among the harshest critics of this development. But it is also imperative to acknowledge the limits of this critique as it applies to the American governmental system. On one level, the critique is self-evident: In the domain that the public can see, Congress is hopelessly deadlocked in the worst manner since the 1850s, the violently rancorous decade preceding the Civil War.

 

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Bill Nye: Invest in energy, ‘change the world’ | MSNBC

Bill Nye: Invest in energy, ‘change the world’ | MSNBC.

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22 Books You Pretend You’ve Read But Actually Haven’t

22 Books You Pretend You've Read But Actually Haven't.

Most people lie and say they’ve read these classic books to seem smarter, according to a survey in The Guardian. Chances are, you’re one of those people too.

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The blathering idiot and the sign

The blathering idiot was not sure what to make of the new rest room sign.

The blathering idiot was not sure what to make of the new rest room sign.

There had been complaints about how some of the blathering idiot’s co-workers had been mistreating the restroom facilities, so management had devised a new sign to help everyone understand. It was all in pictures in the hopes that there would be no confusion. Still, the blathering idiot had a few questions.

He understood that an “X” through the drawing meant do something or that is was wrong to do something. And from the new chart, he saw that it was okay to sit on the commode. Though all it looked the man was doing was sitting there and resting. His pants did not look pulled down and he was sitting too erect to be doing anything. A man needed to lean forward a little more when he pooped. And good luck if he tried to pee while sitting that way.

The second drawing puzzled the blathering idiot. Why would a man pour marbles into a commode?

Then there was the third drawing. Was that man praying?

As for the fourth drawing, he wondered why any man would try to ride a commode like a jockey. Had somebody at work really done that?

And then there was fishing in the commode. He had never thought of that. But certainly what was in there was not usually worth fishing for to begin with. Even he knew that. Unless, maybe, you accidentally dropped something in before doing anything else. What do yo do then? Call your supervisor?

As for the last drawing, it was the oddest of them all. It looked like a man squatting back from the commode and taking aim with an object or some sort, maybe even a child’s toy like a missile or torpedo, and trying to aim it at the commode. Did he mean to blow up the commode? Was he trying to throw into the commode something that he hadn’t been able to get to come out until he gave up sitting on the commode the way the man in the first drawing was? He did look a little like he was squatting, after all.

The blathering idiot pondered this poster until he couldn’t come up with any answers that made sense. He went to his supervisor for guidance, but all his boss would say is that it was being used in the Olympics and that if it was clear enough for them, it should be clear enough for everybody working for him.

The blathering idiot felt it was going to be a long shift.

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New words to live by: “obsolute”

It is the second weekend of the month and time again for a new word to live. This is a word or phrase not currently in use in the U.S. English lexicon, but should be considered. Other words, such as obsurd, crumpify, subsus, flib, congressed, and others, can be found by clicking on the tags below. The new word for February is obsolute. This is a combination of obsolete and absolute.

Obsolete, adj. has several variations of meanings, but in general means: no longer in general use or fallen into disuse or a discarded or outmoded type, even something out of date.

Absolute, adj. also has several variations of meanings ranging from free from imperfection, complete or perfect.
2. not mixed or adulterated, pure.
3. complete or outright, such as an absolute lie; an absolute denial.
4. free from restriction or limitation.
5. unrestrained or unlimited by a constitution, counterbalancing group, etc.

Obsolute, adj. something completely or thoroughly no longer in general use.
2. a pure, unadulterated discard.
3. a complete or outright outdated mode of thinking, believing, speaking, or reasoning.

Examples: Often something obsolute is still believed or held by a few. An obsolute religion, an obsolute lie. Creationism or Intelligent Design are examples of an obsolute idea. Belief that President Obama was born in Kenya is an obsolute lie. Belief that the earth is flat is an obsolute belief.

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Writer makes it big … elsewhere

BIG IN JAPAN

by David Gordon

You might not know me, but I’m famous. Don’t feel bad. Until recently, I didn’t know I was famous either, and most days, even now, it’s hard to tell.

In 2010 I published a novel, “The Serialist.” It did fine for a debut, which is to say well enough to warrant a second, but my daily life didn’t change much: I wrote, I ran, I hung out with my friends. Then a Japanese translation came out, and things got strange. My book won a major Japanese literary contest, which was nice. Then it won another. Then another. Apparently this was extraordinary: No one had ever won all three before. I received copies of articles, which were totally incomprehensible to me except for the picture of my face and a big No. 1. I tried Google Translate, which rendered it all into tantalizing gibberish. My book was not even called “The Serialist” in Japan: The character is a pulp writer, so they used the title “Niryuu Shousetsuka,” which translates back into English as “Second-Rate Novelist.” That was me!

The odd, or oddest, part, was that I had always been a fan of Japanese culture, its films, books and art, though I had never studied it, and it played no role in my books. It was like having a distant teenage crush on someone who suddenly wrote and said, “I like you, too.”

The culmination of this peculiar adventure, which I had observed only from afar, occurred when Toei Studio made “Niryuu Shousetsuka: Serialist,” a film based on my book. That is to say, a Japanese movie set in Tokyo, with Japanese actors speaking Japanese, rather than my version, which features non-Japanese people and takes place mostly in Queens.

They made the movie very fast, in about six months, and invited me to the premiere in June 2013. My Japanese publishers had contrived to release my new book, “Mystery Girl,” at the same time. The novel wouldn’t even be published in English until July. Maybe it had something to do with the international date line, the way emails from East Asia seem to come from tomorrow, but my Japanese life was clearly way ahead of my American life. So I went.

Rest of the article at:

http://www.nytimes.com/2014/01/12/magazine/big-in-japan.html?ref=lives&_r=1


[Editor’s note: thanks to Ashlie for sending this my way.]

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