Tag Archives: story poem

August 11, 2012 · 1:00 am

Workshop Weekend: Story poem: “Signs”

Love on the rocks

Love on the rocks

Love lies on the rocks
White Orchids in the air
Angels flying high above
ministering without a care.

Ol’ Fred’s doing fine.
He’s feeling all aligned.
Club XYZ and Time Warped tea
are there for you and me.

Time Warp Tea Room and Club XYZ

Hang out at Time Warp Tea Room and Club XYZ on Central St.

Love lies on the rocks
White Orchids in the air
Letters flying high above
Tea cups and room to share.

Fred’s learning ol’ Tao Tai Chi
For all his friends to see,
Or maybe glowing body yoga
With those who already know ya.

Taoist Tai Chi Center

Taoist Tai Chi Center. People from the street can see classes in session.

Love lies on the rocks
White Orchids in the air
Ol’ Fred’s lost his love.
Soon I’ll join him there.

Fred finds his Color-ama
It points the way to drama,
Poetry and Mystery,
Science and History.

Color-ama on side of building

Color-ama on side of building. Arrow points to back of Central Street Books. To the right of the Color-ama is the entrance to Glowing Body Yoga.

Love lies on the rocks
White Orchids in the air
Books glowing in the window
On Central Street, it’s there.

Central Street Books

Side of Central Street Books. Glowing BOOKS sign in the window.

These birds up on the awning
End your endless longing
For cupcakes and tasty treats,
Oh crumbum you just can’t beat.

Love lies on the rocks
White Orchids in the air
Magpies flying high above
ministering without a care.

Magpies above Magpies

Look up and see the Magpies above Magpies bakery where you find cakes, cupcakes, and crumbum that can’t be beat.

Fred sends his hair to college
To gain a little knowledge.
Or the Chop Shop crew
Can do his do and do his do anew.

Knoxvilee Institute of Hair Design

You can get your hair cut or styled at the local “barber college” where students are learning the latest techniques, or go down the street to The Chop Shop.

Love lies on the rocks
White Orchids in the air
Scissors flying high above
Snipping without a care.

Chop Shop and Relix signs

The scissors of the Chop Shop in the foreground and the Rx of the Relix Variety Theater in the background, a venue for music, comedy, and the Knoxville Horror Movie Festival.

Antiques lay all around;
Friends bargains to be found.
No need to go to town
With all that astounds.

Love lies on the rocks
White Orchids in the air
Ol’ Fred’s lost his love.
He no longer has a care.

Three Rivers flows on in
Where a day old store had been.
Ol’ Fred shops for deals
And food to make his meals.

Three Rivers Market

Three Rivers Market, a member owned, community oriented market and deli. Buy groceries or even buy a meal.

Love lies on the rocks
White Orchids in the air
The Rooster’s flying high above
Crowing without a care.

An ice cream cone that beckons
With fantasies and seconds
And Relix down the street
Show shows and hold Fred’s seat.

Freezo

Reportedly one of the few remaining Freezo dive in for food places in the U.S.

Love lies on the rocks
White Orchids in the air
Ice cream flying high above:
Things to make Fred stare.

White Orchid

White Orchid, a place for wedding dresses and other wedding items. Maybe the place to go after you find your love on the rocks.

Love lies on the rocks
White Orchids in the air
Angels flying high above
ministering without a care.

Love lies on the rocks
White Orchids in the air
Ol’ Fred’s lost his love.
He no longer has a care.

Fred's Alignment

While Fred in the poem is a person, there is a Fred’s Alignment & Service on Central St. A good place to go for all sorts of car work, to get it and keep it “all aligned.”

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Filed under Photo by author, poetry by author, story poem, Workshop weekend

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March 12, 2012 · 12:04 am

The heist of some lifetime

Dear Congress,

I want my hour back.
The one you stole from me
To take up all the slack
Of saving energy.

A supercilious stance
Of the previous administration
Is giving me morning headaches
And hours of constipation.

Spring has not yet sprung
But an “extra” hour blooms
We’re supposed to use less fossil fuels
But you were a fool to assume.

You now fight over light bulbs
Some invoking “my right to chose.”
Yet, when robbing me of one hour,
You said I had nothing to lose.

There is no proof this hour
Is saving the country power.
I get up in the night, turn on several lights
As I make my way to the shower.

I use more electricity
As I start each day of work
All because you fell asleep
And forgot to think. What jerks.

You pander to the lobbyist
And engage in high mediocrity.
All the time wasting hours
On political pomposity.

By making daylight longer.
As I’m driving more for less
On gas I’ve forced to squander
While you show little or no regrets.

I’m losing sleep because I cannot be
Awake while the sun still shines
But with a jerk, the hour to start work
Finds me ever more behind.

I want my hour back.
The one you stole from me
And do not counterattack
With your light bulb skullduggery.

Even though my eyes are bleary
And my outlook a bit less cheery
I can still see quite clearly
And let you know sincerely:

I want my hour back.
The one you stole from me
To take up all the slack
Of saving energy.

They stole an hour from me

The heist of some lifetime

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Filed under Cartoon, heist, humor, poem, poetry, political humor, politicians, satire, story poem, theater of the absurd

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November 27, 2011 · 12:50 pm

Blathering idiot: I woke to turkeys on full parade

I woke to turkeys on full parade,
A dark flock of birds on a chocolate promenade.
I was sure it was a trip to a tryptophanic place
Where there existed another wild turkey race.

One was cross-eyed, one was four eyed.
One, I saw, gave me the evil eye.
Yet these fowl could not be what they seemed,
Full of butter and chocolate and maybe even cream.

With candy corn beaks and truffle cheeks,
one stepped forward and started to speak.
“We come to you from a way off land,
We have a proposal we hope you find grand.

Chocalate Turkeys

Chocolate turkeys on parade


“We want you to pardon one of us today.
That way we can be free to go our way.”
“Wait, wait a minute,” I then said.
And I saw their eyes get all full of dread.

“If I pardon one, what will happen to the rest?”
The cupcake turkeys did their best
Not to laugh at my stupidity
But an answer to my question, they wouldn’t give me.

So I picked up one and ate him straight away.
Then I ate another before he could say:
“We come in peace, don’t you know.
We came to you, because we’ve no place to go.”

I gobbled and gobbled until I had my fill.
Then the three I hadn’t eaten stood very still.
With chocolate frosting smeared across my face,
I’m sure they wished they’d skipped the human race.

“Which one of you do I pardoned?” I said with a leer.
They stared at me as if I hadn’t been clear.
“I will eat two and save one.
“That is how a Turkey’s pardon’s done.”

The three immediately tried to scramble.
But cupcake turkeys can barely amble.
And as far as they got was the edge of my bed,
Where they had everything to fear. One had lost its head.

But of these turkeys, I could eat no more.
Because my stomach was incredibly sore.
It was rumbling, grumbling, beginning to roar
And felt as if the turkeys inside were trying to soar.

So I give you this warning, should they come your way.
One headless turkey and two friends dismayed.
Enjoy a little less of these chocolate treats.
Unless you want to feel like you’ve been eat.

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October 27, 2011 · 10:20 pm

I have a haunted bathroom

I have a haunted bathroom,
A sink that runs with blood.
I have a haunted bathroom,
It’s full of grime and crud.

I have a haunted bathroom,
From toilet nary a stink.
I have a haunted bathroom,
Because a ghost there stops to drink.

I have a haunted bathroom,
Its walls are cracked and old.
I have a haunted bathroom,
It’s a place too scary for mold.

I have a haunted bathroom,
A bathtub full of red.
I have a haunted bathroom,
An alien bathes there it is said.

I have a haunted bathroom
A cracked mirror in which to stare.
I have a haunted bathroom.
It is beyond repair.

I have a haunted bathroom
With a curtain nice and thick.
I have a haunted bathroom,
If you open it, you’ll say, “Ick!”

Haunted bathroom photo

I have a hauted bathroom....

I have a haunted bathroom.
Enter, if you dare.
I have a haunted bathroom,
If you look, the word is there.

I have a haunted bathroom,
With a picture of my home.
I have a haunted bathroom,
A place I like to roam.

I have a haunted bathroom,
Come visit me on Halloween.
I have a haunted bathroom,
The spookiest you’ve ever seen.

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Filed under absurdity, bathroom, fun, Halloween, haunted, humor, poem, poetry, writing

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October 22, 2011 · 11:09 pm

The misunderstood PPE gargles

The misunderstood PPE gargles
Are related to the ancient fargles.
They live in a land
Of neither rock nor sand,
But they fit over eyes like sparkles.

These oddly named PPE gargles
Can only be worn by gargoyles.
When they sit on the edge
Of a building or ledge
The gargles give their eyes stargles.

These stargles come out in the night
When there is no moon or no light.
And only the gargoyles can see
With their gargles PPE
All the wonders and terrible frights.

Fargles were gargles of a time
When the gargoyles lived in the brine.
And all they could see
Without the fargles that be
Was the salt, the sea, and the grime.

Gargoyle with his PPE gargles

Gargoyle with his PPE gargles

Now armed with their PPE gargles
Gargoyles with stare at their stargles
They will sit on their ledge
Whole worlds in their heads.
And nary burp, nor chirp, nor hargle.

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Filed under abreviation, absurdity, animals, Cartoon, fargles, fun, gargles, gargoyle, Halloween, holiday, humor, imagination, poem, poetry, PPE, Random Access Thoughts, Random thought, story poem, word play, words, writing

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September 23, 2011 · 6:02 pm

There once was a man with waders

There once was a man with waders
Who thought he might find him some gators
down at his creek,
where the trash did seep
left often by unkind invaders.

Man in waders

Man trying on waders, getting ready for First Creek Greenway Cleanup, Saturday, September 24th, 9 AM to noon,

It was Saturday, September 24th
when the man and his friends set a course.
from nine until noon
and not a moment too soon
to put an end to this trashy discourse.

So come to First Creek and discover
“treasures” left by some unkind others:
shopping carts and flat tires,
pay phones, couches, and wires
and stuff that the creek tries to smother.

Bring tools and gloves for your hands;
pick up trash for as long as you can.
Once done, we will eat
Magpies cupcakes, Three Rivers treats
and be glad we helped the creek and the land.

Magpies cupcakes

Magpies cupcakes and Three Rivers Market treats will be served up after the cleanup.

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Filed under cleanup, creek, First Creek, fun, Greenway, humor, limerick, Magpies, Old North Knoxville, poem, poetry, story poem, Three Rivers Market, trash, waders, water, word play, words, writing

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January 30, 2011 · 10:00 pm

A sign of the times

I went to the store the other day,
and it wasn’t in a place very far away.
While going through the checkout line
the bagger asked me if I’d mind
spending a dollar to support a charity.
I said yes, how fine that would be.
He then asked for my name
Saying he’d put it in the window for a little fame.
I said I didn’t need the notoriety.
He said that just could not be,
and he would write “lowel customer.”
Though his accent was a bit tough to be sure,
I said “Loyal Customer” was fine with me.
He then wrote it on the window slip for all to see.
Lowel Customer now hangs on the glass
with all the other names that you pass.
But if Lowel Customer you happen to see,
give him a pleasant hello from me.

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December 16, 2010 · 10:26 pm

The presentation

The blathering idiot went to the lingerie store to buy his girlfriend a $50 bra. She had given exact instructions as to what she wanted and where to get it.

The blathering idiot had never been in a lingerie store before. But even before he went, he thought $50 was a little much for a bra. Her physical structures were nice, but not stellar. Neither were his own, and he wouldn’t think of spending $50 to support his.

Still it was his girlfriend and it was the season for presents, so he entered the lingerie store and approached the saleswoman to ask where he could find this “accoutrement.” He had learned that word recently and this was his first chance to use it, and for some reason it seemed to fit.

As she led him to the display, she asked if he might be interested in any of the shop’s specials.
The blathering idiot thought they might be offering some eggnog or Christmas cookies, so he said yes.

She smiled and then explained that their $75 undergarment was on sale for $65 and their $100 undergarment was on sale for $80.

First, she took him to the $50 bra, which looked much like the bras he had glimpsed most of his life, from his mother to his girlfriend, and a few other women in between, especially the one time in high school when his friends had pulled off his underwear, pulled it down over his head, and then shoved him into the girl’s locker room.

“As you can see,” the sales lady said, “there is nothing about this undergarment that stands out from the rest. It is a good one, but for that special woman in your life, I’m sure you want better. A little something that will grab her and your attentions.”

She then winked at him and showed him the $75 bra. It was smaller than the $50 one and had some areas of exposure he had never considered in a bra.

Then, without saying a word, she showed him the $100 bra. They were just two small cups that appeared barely big enough to fit over the tips of his girlfriend’s structures.

When he asked about the loss of material, she said it was all about presentation. “The less material, the more presentation, the more sizzle. Think how proud your girlfriend will be to wear this $100 undergarment, and that pride will show, causing her to walk taller, stand straighter, giving her all the support she will ever need.” She smiled at him. “After all, presentation is everything.”

The blathering idiot was sold. He bought the $100 undergarment on sale for $80, had it wrapped, and couldn’t wait to see his girlfriend’s presentation.

When she unwrapped the undergarment, she didn’t know what to think. Or, rather, she did, but kept her first thoughts to herself. She asked the blathering idiot about it, trying in the nicest way to figure out where he’d screwed up. He talked about sizzle and carriage and presentation, and with that undergarment on, she would walk tall and walk proud.

The blathering idiot’s girlfriend didn’t know whether to laugh, cry, or be angry. All three emotions played across her face.

The blathering idiot took it to be gratitude beyond words.

Shortly thereafter, he walked home with the two small pieces of the undergarment fitted over his eyes. She told him he could only remove them once he got home. Otherwise, he wouldn’t make the right presentation.

He walked proudly into the night.

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June 19, 2010 · 6:50 pm

And out will waltz a little girl to Strauss

But at night in that big ol’ house,
When everybody’s in bed, even a mouse,
The portmanteau will open,
As if magic words were spoken,
And out will waltz a little girl to Strauss.

#The End#

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Filed under characters, hero, humor, limerick, poem, poetry, portmanteau, Random Access Thoughts, story poem, words, writing

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June 18, 2010 · 7:05 pm

To guess at what happened or posit

Now the portmanteau sits in a closet
Like a gift awaiting a deposit.
The once-Lady from Kent
Won’t even relent
To guess at what happened or posit.

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Filed under hero, humor, limerick, poem, poetry, portmanteau, Random Access Thoughts, story poem, words, writing

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