Tag Archives: raft

Monday morning writing humor: “The Captain said”

What the Captain said

The boat is fine, the captain said;
he said it to our face.
The boat is fine, the captain said,
the river sets the pace.

The boat is fine, the captain said,
and then he said no more.
The boat is fine, the captain said
as we sailed away from shore.

The boat is fine, the captain said,
as the river tossed us about.
The boat is fine, the captain said,
as some of us wanted out.

The boat is fine, the captain said,
steering for the roughest part.
The boat is fine, the captain said;
he’d said it from the start.

The boat is fine, the captain said
as the waves thumped into the boat
The boat is fine, the captain said
as some of us tried to float.

The boat is fine, the captain said,
Come back again next year.
The boat is fine, the captain said —
but captain, I hope you’re not here.

The first, fall flush of success.

The first, fall flush of success.

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Filed under Monday morning writing humor, poetry by author

What I’m working on at the moment

I edit, write, design, edit, even do some the photography for a neighborhood newsletter for the historic neighborhood in which I live. Below is what I am working as part of the newsletter. I did not take the photos, but have cropped and processed them. They were color. They are now black and white, because the newsletter is printed in black and white.

Some of my neighbors went on rafting trip a couple of months back and the photos are from that day trip. The poem, “The Captain said,” is mine.

Neighbors Lauren Rider (left) and Pete Creel (right) heading into some rough waters.

Neighbors Lauren Rider (left) and Pete Creel (right) head into some rough waters.

The Captain said

The boat is fine, the captain said;
he said it to our face.
The boat is fine, the captain said,
the river sets the pace.

The boat is fine, the captain said,
and then he said no more.
The boat is fine, the captain said
as we sailed away from shore.

The boat is fine, the captain said,
as the river tossed us about.
The boat is fine, the captain said,
as some of us wanted out.

The boat is fine, the captain said,
steering for the roughest part.
The boat is fine, the captain said;
he’d said it from the start.

The boat is fine, the captain said
as the waves thumped into the boat
The boat is fine, the captain said
as some of us tried to float.

The boat is fine, the captain said,
Come back again next year.
The boat is fine, the captain said —
but captain, I hope you’re not here.

Pete Creel taking an unplanned dip in the river.

Pete Creel takes an unplanned dip in the river.

Pete said the best place to sit on the raft was in the center, but two people had quickly seized those seats before he and Lauren could get in. He said he also felt that at times the captain / person steering the raft, aimed for the roughest patches of water to make sure he and the other members of the crew got their money’s worth in experience.

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Weird in an endearing sort of way

I have a friend who is tentatively planning to get married in March or April of 2013. Her boyfriend is an outdoorsman sort of fellow. They are considering New Orleans as a possible honeymoon destination, and I suggested that she and her intended take a raft down the Tennessee River near where we live to the Ohio River, the Ohio to the Mississippi River at Cairo, IL, and the Mississippi River to New Orleans. I suggested she could even mount her telescope to the raft and chart the stars as they go floating down the rivers.

She said she was not going rafting, not now, not ever, and not for her tentative honeymoon.

I said I was only trying to help them save on gas or air fare to The Big Easy and give them a chance to bond as they lived off the fish they caught in the rivers or the animals he shot on the land.

She said I was weird, but in an endearing way.

What I haven’t figured out is a river plan to get them to their other choice for a honeymoon: The Big Apple. Seems appropriate to send a newlywed couple to a city nicknamed after the fruit that tripped up Adam and Eve.

Some ideas are simply ahead of their time.

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Filed under absurdity, honeymoon, humor, vingette