First brother digs around and pulls out all sorts of material from the storage area: “Bro, you want this pamphlet?”
Second brother: “Brochure.”
Later two women come across a stack of the pamphlets and brochures scattered on the floor.
“Look at this mess those two brothers left.” Pam reaches done to pick up some of the mess, but then pulls back up and grabs at her lower back.
Julie: “Pamphlet me get those.”
Filed under 2018, Monday morning writing joke
There once was a man so wise /
he read a book on disguise. /
And to this very day /
when he wants to slip away /
glasses and a mustache he applies. /
Filed under 2018, Monday morning writing joke, poetry by author
There once was man of subtle fun /
Who tried to make puns on the run /
But his display of verbal wit /
Didn’t go over for shit /
And left people mindless minus one.
Filed under 2018, Monday morning writing joke, poetry by author
There once was a writer off for college /
All in the pursuit of higher knowledge. /
The four years they say /
Only got in the way /
And caused a great deal of haulage.
Filed under 2018, joke by author, Monday morning writing joke
There once was a author from Brisbane /
who thought a writer from Lisbon /
tortured language in a way /
that was “an assault and pepper spray” /
a syntax attack, if not misprision.
Filed under 2018, Monday morning writing joke, poetry by author
First writer: “Did you hear about the mystery writer whose husband kept asking Alexa for jokes?”
Second writer: “No, what happened?”
First writer: “He was found dead in his bathtub this morning. The police think he was ‘Alexa-cuted.'”
Second writer: “Self-inflicted or murder?”
First writer: “They don’t know, but the police are pretty sure she’ll make book on it.”
Filed under 2018, joke by author, Monday morning writing joke
An old Doberman starts chasing rabbits and before long, discovers that he’s lost.
Wandering about, he notices a lion heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.
The old Doberman thinks, “Oh, oh! I’m in deep shit now!”
Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat.
Just as the lion is about to leap, the old Doberman exclaims, “Boy, that was one delicious lion! I wonder, if there are any more around here?”
Hearing this, the young lion halts his attack in mid-stride, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees.
“Whew,” says the lion, “that was close! That old Doberman nearly had me.”
Meanwhile, a squirrel who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the lion. So, off he goes.
The squirrel soon catches up with the lion, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the lion.
The young lion is furious at being made a fool of and says, “Here, squirrel, hop on my back and see what’s going to happen to that conniving canine!”
Now, the old Doberman sees the lion coming with the squirrel on his back and thinks, “What am I going to do now?” Instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn’t seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old Doberman says…
“Where’s that squirrel? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another lion.”
And there you have the bones of a story.
Filed under 2018, Monday morning writing joke
Genie: “You have one wish left.”
The writer thought about it for a few minutes. He looked around the bar. He had already messed up twice and didn’t want to screw up this third wish. Finally, he said, “I want to forget my writer’s block.”
“Is that your wish?”
“Yes, I wish to forget my writer’s block.”
The genie disappeared in a puff of smoke. The writer paid his bill and left the bar, happy to know that he would now be able to write again, once he remembered where he lived.
Filed under 2017, joke by author, Monday morning writing joke
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