Q.: What do you call a cab with three writers stuck in traffic while on the way to a writing conference?
A.: Writers blocked.
Tag Archives: pun
Monday morning writing joke: “Vehicle”
Q.: What do you call a vehicle that seats a mummy, a zombie, a werewolf, and a vampire?
A.: A Monster truck.
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Monday morning writing joke: “Dickens twist”
Charles Dickens walks into a bar.
The bartender says, “What’s wrong, Chuck? You look glum.”
Dickens says, “I’ve got the worst writer’s block I have ever had. I can’t even think of a title for my book.”
Bartender says, “Bummer. Can I get you a drink?”
Dickens: “Yeah. Make it a good stiff martini.”
Bartender: “Okay. Olive or twist?”
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cARtOONSDAY: “hUNGRY”
Everyone’s a critic — even man’s best friend.
Filed under cartoon by author, CarToonsday
Monday morning writing joke: “Date night”
A zombie and a vampire went out on a date.
Somebody didn’t have the brains to realize the relationship sucked.
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Monday morning writing joke: “Running late”
Their three kids, all successful, agreed to a Sunday dinner in their honor.
“Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad,” gushed Son No. 1. “Sorry I’m running late. I had an emergency at the hospital with a patient, you know how it is, and I didn’t have time to get you a gift.”
“Not to worry,” said the father. “Important thing is we’re all together today.”
Son No. 2 arrived. “You and Mom look great, Dad. I just flew in from LA between depositions and didn’t have time to shop for you.”
“It’s nothing,” said the father. “We’re glad you were able to come.”
Just then the daughter arrived. “Hello and happy anniversary! Sorry, but my boss is sending me out of town and I was really busy packing so I didn’t have time to get you anything.”
After they had finished dessert, the father said, “There’s something your mother and I have wanted to tell you for a long time. You see, we were really poor, but we managed to send each of you to college. Through the years your mother and I knew we loved each other very much, but we just never found the time to get married.”
The three children gasped and said, “WHAT? You mean we’re bastards?”
“Yep”, said the father, “Cheap ones too.”
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Monday morning writing joke: “Food for thought, too”
Q.: What does a clock do when it’s hungry?
A.: It goes back four seconds.
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Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there’s no pop quiz.
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I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop anytime.
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Q.: How does Moses make his tea?
A.: Hebrews it.
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Monday morning writing joke: “Food for thought”
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
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A soldier survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
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This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.
Filed under Monday morning writing joke
Monday (morning) writing joke: “Laying it on”
A chicken and a detective-fiction writer waited in line to see Santa Claus.
When the chicken got up on Santa’s lap, it immediately laid an egg, which it gave to Santa.
When the writer sat on Santa’s lap, he also laid an egg.
“That’s amazing!” Santa said.
“Nah,” said the writer. “That’s just a copy of my latest work, a hard-boiled mystery. It’s pretty good, but it does tend to crack toward the end.”
Filed under Monday morning writing joke
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