The blathering idiot stood in line for a job interview. He had finished writing his campaign memoir, but so far had found no publisher to accept it. His old job at the candy factory was no longer available. And his off again / on again girlfriend Zoey said she was not going to date a man without a job, even a former candidate for the highest office in the land.
So, here he was in line, down to his last ten dollars. After waiting an hour and half, he was about to be interviewed. If he didn’t get the job, he didn’t know what he was going to do.
“Next,” the woman in the office called out.
The guy who had just finished interviewing stepped out of the small room and past the blathering idiot. His face was ashen. His eyes wide, drool at the corner of his mouth.
“Next!” the woman was louder and more insistent.
The blathering idiot hesitated, unsure he wanted to step inside.
When he did, she immediately reached up and snatched his resume out of his hands.
“Don’t like to read them beforehand,” she said. “Like to feel the vibe off the paper as I look you straight in the eye. The paper can lie, but you can’t.”
She glanced over his resume, raising an eyebrow when she read something in particular. She then slapped the resume down on her desk.
“So you ran for the highest office in the land?”
The blathering nodded slightly.
“Well, did you?” She stared right at him, though he felt like it was more right through him.
“Yes,” he said.
“So, did you win?”
The blathering idiot wondered if it was a trick question. If he had won, would be here, standing before this woman, too scared to sit down? Or would she be the one who might be sweating and too scared to sit down.
“No,” he said finally, “I did not win.”
“Thought not,” she said, her voice gravelly, maybe from too many cigarettes. She had that sharp cigarette smell about her. Some smokers wore like perfume. “Don’t know anything about his Pro-Accordion Party you mentioned, but it wouldn’t have matter. I didn’t vote anyway. Waste of time.”
After a moment, the woman looked up and said, “You can go now.”
“But you didn’t ask me any other questions.”
“My vibe tells me you’re lying.”
“Lying?”
“Yeah, like a politician.”
And there he was, branded for being a lying politician and he hadn’t even won the election. He’d probably never be able to find work now.
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