Tag Archives: Monday

Monday morning writing joke: “Wolf packed”

There once was a woman from Tangier /
Who had a wolf on her head, it appears. /
It would not go away /
Not even on Thanksgiving Day. /
He said, “By Christmas, I’ll have eaten you, my dear.”

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Monday morning writing joke: “Paper trail”

First brother digs around and pulls out all sorts of material from the storage area: “Bro, you want this pamphlet?”

Second brother: “Brochure.”

Later two women come across a stack of the pamphlets and brochures scattered on the floor.

“Look at this mess those two brothers left.” Pam reaches done to pick up some of the mess, but then pulls back up and grabs at her lower back. 

Julie: “Pamphlet me get those.”

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Monday morning writing joke: “Big Willy”

There once was a short poet from Philly, /

who went by the name of Big Willy. /

In his verse he would curse, /

get bawdy or worse /

spewing forth his magnum opus willy-nilly.

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Monday or morning writing joke: “Nepal”

There once was writer from Nepal, /

whose writing exceeded them all. /

His output was prodigious, /

some even turgid-ous, /

and all on the men’s room stall.

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Monday morning writing joke: “Stance”

There once was a writer from Murmansk /

Who thought he’d give erotica a chance. /

So he wrote about a gnome /

Who roamed far from home /

Adventuring with his three-legged stance.

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Monday morning writing joke: “Fool errand”

There once was a man so wise /

he read a book on disguise. /

And to this very day /

when he wants to slip away /

glasses and a mustache he applies. /

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Announcing the 2018 Locus Awards Winners | Tor.com

Locus Magazine announced the winners of the 2018 Locus Awards during the Locus Awards Weekend in Seattle, WA, which took place June 22 to 24, 2018, with Connie Willis serving as MC of the awards ce…

Source: Announcing the 2018 Locus Awards Winners | Tor.com

Locus Magazine announced the winners of the 2018 Locus Awards during the Locus Awards Weekend in Seattle, WA, which took place June 22 to 24, 2018, with Connie Willis serving as MC of the awards ceremony. Congratulations to the all of the winners and finalists!

The list of finalists and winners is below. Winners for each category appear in bold.

SCIENCE FICTION NOVEL

FANTASY NOVEL

HORROR NOVEL

YOUNG ADULT BOOK

FIRST NOVEL

NOVELLA

NOVELETTE

SHORT STORY

ANTHOLOGY

COLLECTION

MAGAZINE

  • Tor.com
  • Analog
  • Asimov’s
  • Beneath Ceaseless Skies
  • Clarkesworld
  • F&SF
  • File 770
  • Lightspeed
  • Strange Horizons
  • Uncanny

PUBLISHER

  • Tor
  • Angry Robot
  • Baen
  • DAW
  • Gollancz
  • Orbit
  • Saga
  • Small Beer
  • Subterranean
  • Tachyon

EDITOR

  • Ellen Datlow
  • John Joseph Adams
  • Neil Clarke
  • Gardner Dozois
  • C.C. Finlay
  • Jonathan Strahan
  • Lynne M. Thomas & Michael Damian Thomas
  • Ann & Jeff VanderMeer
  • Sheila Williams
  • Navah Wolfe

ARTIST

  • Julie Dillon
  • Kinuko Y. Craft
  • Galen Dara
  • Bob Eggleton
  • Gregory Manchess
  • Victo Ngai
  • John Picacio
  • Shaun Tan
  • Charles Vess
  • Michael Whelan

NON-FICTION

ART BOOK

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Monday morning writing joke: “Acknowledgements”

There once was writer of acknowledgements /

Who was in a pickle over compliments. /

To make them clear and sincere /

And not sound in arrears /

Or as if she were paying emoluments.

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Monday morning writing joke: “F-bomb”

IMG_6463_F-Bomb 100dpi_6x6_4c

There once was a purveyor of F-bombs /
Who dropped them like words of a psalm. /
One day on a streak /
He went well passed his peak /
Now his voice squeaks with lavender charm.

 

 

 

 

 

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Monday morning writing joke: “A Man of Subtle fun”

There once was man of subtle fun /
Who tried to make puns on the run /
But his display of verbal wit /
Didn’t go over for shit /
And left people mindless minus one.

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