Tag Archives: humor

Road closed due to kudzu. /

Honest, minister, I couldn’t get through. /

There I was on an uphill climb, /

Fighting Satan and making time. /

When what to astonished eyes should appear — /

A shortcut through underbrush. It was so clear. /

I was certain I had found the way, /

And, for once, I wouldn’t be late today. /

I rounded a curve, started a steep decline /

When all at once, there was this sign. /

“Road closed” it perfunctorily said. /

I squealed to a stop: my hopes were dead. /

For wound tight round that sign /

And growing as if Satan’s Devine /

Was that dreaded kudzu, minister. /

The vine that grows with no resister. /

I sprang from my car, the Lord’s sword in hand, /

And beat back the Devil in a pitched battle grand. /

I’d swing and strike and smite the evil. /

Onward I fought until I spied the steeple. /

Satan sent more of his legion of vines. /

I struggled mightily, but fell behind. /

Finally, my Hail Mary, came to my aid. /

I found something mightier than the holy blade. /

A match and some gasoline were my salvation. /

Fight fire with fire was my divination. /

I heard the leaves curl and writhe in pain. /

Satan would not stop me, not now or again. /

The flames were beautiful, they rose up high. /

It was a wonder that I can’t deny. /

But now, minister, you see, we must flee, /

For those damn flames are following me. /

They’re right behind me, high up to the clouds /

And no hymn will save us, even sung very loud. /

So say, Amen, and get the flock out of here. /

I’ll meet you at the corner bar for a shot and a beer.

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