Tag Archives: humor

“Fairy parachute”

Fairy parachute

(Note: Fairy parachute is a fungus a/k/a Marasmiellus candidus. Photo by friend and accomplished photographer Brian McDaniel.)

I found a fairy parachute hiding in the woods.

I looked around and found no fairy, though hoping that I would.

I looked about and under the trees, bushes, and even vines.

By the time I was done, it was dark. It was a quarter past nine.

I turned and started heading for home.

Only then did I soon realize how far I had roamed.

Any way I turned and walked, I remained alone.

The moon was rising high. It peeked through the trees.

A chill came into the night and a weakness into my knees.

I did not want to be alone in this light empty place.

If I had a companion, he’d see the horror on my face.

I did not know what to do as an old barn owl cried out.

Then a bat fluttered overhead and I gave a piercing shout.

I was petrified when someone said, “Come now. Turn about.”

Had I heard a voice? The idea was absurd.

I felt myself collapsing without saying a word.

“Stand tall, my good man,” the voice commanded.

“It is a pickle we are in and find ourselves so landed.”

The voice was small but mighty as if it came from far away.

But when I slowly turned and looked, I saw the old fairy.

He waved me to his little fire and I listened to his music play.

He sang a song and told a joke, well, probably a few.

Then he shared a bit of his grog. It tasted like morning dew.

I yawned and stretched and calamitied into a boneless heap.

Surprisingly, I quickly fell into a deep and dreamless sleep.

I first heard a bird chirping. Then felt a butterfly on my nose.

I slowly roused to find myself naked – absolutely no clothes.

To this day I made a mistake, one I unfortunately chose.

I never saw that fairy again, nor his parachute,

But if I ever do, I will be one big brute.

It is hard to leave a forest dress in your birthday suit.

What I don’t understand is why he even did it.

I doubt he could ever wear my shirt or even fit in it.

And my pants would only be good for a parachute.

There was no money in the pockets. I was broke to boot.

So, now you’ve heard my tale of woe and how I wound up here.

Brother can you spare me a shirt and maybe a pint of beer?

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Filed under 2023, humor, photo, poem, poetry, poetry by author, Poetry by David E. Booker, Uncategorized

Photo finish Friday: “Erotica”

Erotica

Garden erotica. /

Bung hole of my Roloise. /

Green tomato porn.

.

.

#roloise #tomato #porn #garden #erotica #hole #bung #photo #poem #poetry #haiku #humor #oldnorthknoxville #davidebooker #july #friday #071423 #2023

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Filed under 2023, haiku, Old North Knoxville, photo, Photo by author, photo by David E. Booker, poetry, poetry by author, Poetry by David E. Booker

“Tiger lily”

Tiger lily

No, Mr. Baker,

it is not an

invasion.

It’s a Tiger lily.

The invasion comes

a few days

later

with beer and

outdoor cooking.

That’s when

the aliens

—grill your meat

—light your fireworks

—conflagrate and celebrate

your auto-da-fe future.

.

.

#humor #poem #poetry #satire #tigerlily #flower #alien #invasion #auto-da-fe #oldnorthknoxville #davidebooker #photo #June #Wednesday #062823 #2023

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Filed under 2023, Old North Knoxville, photo, Photo by author, Photo by Beth Booker, photo by David E. Booker, poem, poetry, poetry by author, Poetry by David E. Booker, satire

“The Tong Dynasty”

The Tong Dynasty

King Kong and Godzilla met in a kitchen. /

King Kong heard Godzilla wailin’ and bitchin’. /

“My toast! My toast! I can’t get it out. /

“My toast! My toast! It’s stuck in that snout. /

Every time I reach in sparks fly out. /

Angry it is!” He stomped round about. /

King Kong reached forth with bamboo tongs. /

They grabbed that toast like a pair of thongs. /

Godzilla thanked Kong and went on his way. /

Thus, civilization was saved that day.

.

.

#061821 #King_Kong #Godzilla #tongs #thong #bamboo #toast #toaster #poem #poetry #humor #june #civilization #davidebooker

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Filed under 2021, photo, poetry, poetry by author, Poetry by David E. Booker

“Capture”

Capture

Summer evening sky.

Clouds build their wayward castles,

capture star-ward dreams.

.

.

#castles #dreams #capture #summer #evening #sky #photo #poem #poetry #haiku #oldnorthknoxville #davidebookerd #june #monday #060523 #2023

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Filed under 2023, haiku, Old North Knoxville, photo, Photo by author, Photo by Beth Booker, photo by David E. Booker, poem, poetry, poetry by author, Poetry by David E. Booker

“Precarious ride”

Precarious ride

Pallet-able or /

portable. Buss a bump and /

come undone-able.

.

.

#oldnorthknoxville #pun #humor #pallet #buss #davidebooker #may #poem #poetry #photo #052016 #haiku #052921 #052023

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Filed under 2016, 2021, 2023, haiku, humor, Old North Knoxville, photo, Photo by author, photo by David E. Booker, poem, poetry, poetry by author, Poetry by David E. Booker, puns, Uncategorized

“Tall tale”

Tall tale

The gravedigger says, /

As his needling wife’s unearthed, /

“It’s all a big yarn.”

.

.

#poem #haiku #davidebooker #poet #writer #writing #may #monday #2019 #pun #wife #gravedigger #humor #unearthed #skeleton #needles #050619

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Filed under 2019, haiku, photo, poem, poetry, poetry by author, Poetry by David E. Booker

“Hightailing”

I don’t know who is showing the most hip, but I can guess who is being the most cheeky in this photo.

Is this a drunken, African version of the Running of the Bulls? The Hightailing Away from the Hippopotamus? Or would that be Hippopotami?

Oh my

the hippopotami

have come to try

and drive me away.

I undressed

to my birthday best

to take my rest

on a hot day.

I did not know

it was no place to go

that I could not show

my full display.

I have caused unrest

put nature to the test

because I undressed

and tried to stay.

One big old brute

did not like my birthday suit

so I gave him the salute

and he huffed my way.

With no pants

I had little chance

to make a stance

or have my say.

I now must leave

but please don’t grieve

and don’t yet believe

I am human filet.

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Filed under 2023, humor, poem, poetry, Poetry by David E. Booker

“Devil’s future”

Devil’s future

The machine answers. /

Your future it will bestow /

For a Devil’s nickel.

.

.

#nickel #devil #future #thetwilightzone #williamshatner #haiku #poem #poetry #writer #poet #writing #april #2019 #saturday #machine #answers #ohio #rodserling #042719

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Filed under 2019, haiku, photo, poem, poetry, poetry by author, Poetry by David E. Booker, The Twilight Zone

“Demon”

Demon

Demon at my feet /

Rests in peanut butter /

Anticipation.

.

.

#haiku #poem #poetry #poet #writing #writer #2019 #april #thursday #peanutbutter #dog #demon #anticipation #feet #davidebooker #040419

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Filed under 2019, haiku, Old North Knoxville, photo, Photo by author, photo by David E. Booker, poem, poetry, poetry by author, Poetry by David E. Booker