Ripped from the horoscope headlines. Is this an editing typo or a premonition of things to….. Well, you decide:
“Pisces: (Feb. 20 – March 20) Don’t anticipate failure before you even give something a. You have as much chance of wining as you do losing.”
What is to be won? The missing word at the end of the first sentence? What is the Pisces person supposed to “give something a”? I have tried to figure it out, but have come up a failure thus far. I anticipate a no-win situation.
Filed under Silly Saturday
Part 16: The noir comes to Eleanor.
Filed under cartoon by author, Eleanor and Rose, Story by author, Uncategorized
A male romance novelist was hiking in the mountains, and he came upon a shepherd who was tending a large herd of sheep that were grazing in the alpine meadow. The writer took a fancy to the sheep, and asked the shepherd: “If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I have one?”
The shepherd thought this was an odd request, but thought that there was little chance that the man would guess the exact number of sheep, so he said, “Sure.”
The writer guessed, “You have 297 sheep.”
The shepherd was astonished, since this was exactly how many sheep he had.
The writer got excited and asked, “Can I pick out my sheep now?”
The shepherd grudgingly gave his permission. The writer selected his sheep, bent over, and swung the sheep over his shoulders, to carry home with him.
The shepherd then asked, “If I guess what your occupation is, can I have my sheep back?”
The novelist was a bit surprised by this, but figured that it was unlikely that the shepherd would be able to guess his occupation, and went along with the deal.
The shepherd then guessed “You’re a romance novelist, aren’t you?”
The writer was very surprised and asked, “How did you know?”
The shepherd responded, “Just put the dog down and we’ll talk about it.”
Filed under Monday morning writing joke
by David E. Booker
O’, Pause and let us now behold
the elected intelligence in all its mold.
Bills run amuck of mind and light:
Sufficient fright for a Halloween night.
And there was more, lest you forget
a bill to take away your right to vote yet
for the U.S. Senator of your choice
Enlightened legislators said, “That’s our voice.”
Only a call from fed Senator Corker
prevented that piece of legislative porker.
Many other state bills ceased to be
because big money donors were displeased.
So, say what you will about money buying votes.
It may not get bills passed; but it can get them smote.
________
Tennessee State flag: 0′ what trouble can they conceive when the state GOP is allowed to breathe.
NASHVILLE — On the state Senate floor last week, Sen. Brian Kelsey brought up a resolution that he explained as putting senators on record as declaring “if the federal government tries to infringe on our rights as American citizens, then we will intervene and fight for those rights.”
This prompted Senate Majority Leader Mark Norris to ask his fellow Republican how the resolution (SR17) differed from perhaps the most prominent of several bills introduced this year to nullify federal laws and subject federal officers to prosecution should they try to enforce them.
For the rest of the story, follow this link:
http://www.knoxnews.com/news/2013/apr/07/tennessee-gop-supermajority-eases-up-on-silly/
Filed under GOP, poetry by author, political humor
Part 15: The hat matters.
Filed under cartoon by author, Eleanor and Rose, Story by author
Part 14: The hat points the way, more or less.
Filed under cartoon by author, Eleanor and Rose, Story by author
Palo Alto, CA — Have you been cruel to your Internet? The Society for Prevention of Internet Cruelty (T-SPIC) would like to know.
Recent studies by this quasi-governmental, quasi-NGO (Non-governmental organization), quasi-modem group have revealed that up to 4 in 10 people are cruel to the Internet.
“It is often those unaware they abusing their Internet that are the worst offenders,” spokes-bot RU4ME recently stated in a released statement. “They spend unnecessary time on a web site, or even leave their browser up and focused not on one, but two, four, six and more tabs or windows open on web sites they will not visit again. Or they forward an e-mail to a group of friends and family, but never remove the three lists of thirty deep names of people who were forwarded to originally, then somebody in that group forwarded to thirty more people, and one of them forwarded to this person and twenty-nine others, and now this person is forwarding with all these other e-mails still showing, like a line of toilet paper stuck on your shoe during your wedding day march down the aisle.”
The Internet has feelings, too.
Then there are those who purposely target the Internet for cruelty. According to T-SPIC, there’s a man who lives in a small apartment in No Name, Kentucky, whose goal is to drive the Internet out of business. Toward that end, he mails out certificates to people all across the country saying they don’t have to pay their Internet bill for the next three months.
T-SPIC also claims to have a record of a woman who denies the Internet even exists. She claims it it is another one of those “gubment ho-axes,” like cell phones. “After all,” she says, “it was that gubment man Gore that claims he invented it. Next thing you know,” she goes on to say, “you’ll be telling me that moon landing malarkey was all real.”
RU4ME says if you suspect somebody of being cruel to the Internet, please give them a call. The number is 010-101-0101.
“Without the public’s help,” RU4ME stated in her statement, “we will not be able to put an end to this unspoken atrocity occurring right under our keystrokes.”
“The Internet is a vibrant, living entity,” RU4ME says. “It has feelings. Cruelty to the Internet is not a crime, but it ought to be.”
Part 13: Something about that hat.
Filed under cartoon by author, Eleanor and Rose, Story by author
part 12: A tip of the hat.
Filed under cartoon by author, Eleanor and Rose, Story by author
The past, present, and future walked into a bar.
It was a tense situation.
Filed under Monday morning writing joke
Booker's Blog 