Maurice struggled to get a grip on his reading.
Tag Archives: humor
cARtOONSDAY: “mOTHER, mAY i?”
Maurice struggled to get a grip on his reading.
Filed under cartoon by author, CarToonsday
Photo finish Friday: “Unmentionable”
The tchotchke side of town
Bosom babe met the elephant
down by the merry-go-round.
Bosom babe asked the elephant
if he’d like to see the town?
Replied the red elephant
lifting his trunk high into the air,
“I’ve seen all I want to see
and much more than you care.”
She wondered what he meant
until she looked up high.
Then she spied her unmentionables:
dainty white against blue sky.
Let this be a lesson to you:
ladies don’t hang around
a shiny red elephant
from the tchotchke side of town.
— Photo by Brian Griffin; poem by David E. Booker
[Editor’s note: Yes, this poem is Fourth of July suitable (pardon the pun). It mentions the colors red, white, and blue.]
Filed under Photo Finish Friday
cARtOONSDAY: “tABLET mANNERS”
Tablet, tablet in my hand
are you the most frustrating thing in the land?
Filed under cartoon by author, CarToonsday
Photo finish Friday: “A penny….”
What did the big penny say to the little penny?
What did the little penny say to the big penny?
Big to little:
A.: A penny for your thoughts.
or
A.: And you thought there was no career advancement.
or
A.: I penny you.
Little to big:
A: Pass the buck.
or
A: So that’s what inflation does.
or
A.: Are you my penny, auntie?
Filed under Photo by author, Photo Finish Friday
Monday morning writing joke: “revolution”
Q.: How many narcissists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A.: One. He holds it up, and the world revolves around him.
Filed under Monday morning writing joke
Sixteen quarts and whadda ya get?
Another 16 quarts and whadda ya get?
Picked 16 quarts and whadda I get?
Another day older and deeper in pits.
Saint Peter dontcha call me ’cause I can’t go
Pitted 16 quarts; I got 16 more.
[With apologies to Tennessee Ernie Ford and “Sixteen Tons.” http://youtu.be/L2tWwHOXMhI]
Picked all these cherries and more from one tree.
Photo finish Friday: “Half of it”
Sometimes, a relationship just doesn’t hold together.
The man in the waders
by David E. Booker
The man in waders
met the woman in half.
When others saw them,
they thought they were daft.
They met at the creek,
down by the water’s edge.
It was a salvage operation
of the heart it is said.
She could not say
where her lower half went.
Like a little mermaid
she was half woman, half rent.
The relationship didn’t last.
Alas it is said,
the fact she had no bottom
went straight to his head.
Filed under Photo by author, Photo Finish Friday, poetry by author
Monday morning writing joke: “State of mind”
Two fifty-five-year-old authors were sitting together on a dais at a writer’s conference.
The first one looks at the photo and short biography of the third author who is scheduled to join them.
“Wow,” the first author says, “I must be getting old.”
“Why?” the second asks, “because she looks so young in the photo?”
“No. Because she says she’s twenty-seven and describes herself as middle-aged.”
“Yeah,” the second author sighs, “middle age is looking younger and younger to me, too.”
***
Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.
–Mark Twain
Filed under Monday morning writing joke
Monday morning writing joke: “Look at me”
Q: How many narcissists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One. He holds it up, and the world revolves around him.
Filed under Monday morning writing joke
Monday morning writing joke: “Note”
C, E Flat, and G walk into a bar.
The bartender says, “Sorry, no minors.”
Filed under Monday morning writing joke
