Tag Archives: genie

Monday (morning) writing joke: “The ride”

A writer and a genie were trapped in a stuck elevator.

Writer: “Can you get us out of this?”

Genie: “Is that your wish?”

Writer, after thinking about: “Maybe we’ll wait.”

They wait two hours. Then three. Then six. Then….

Finally the writer said: “I wish for everybody in this building to have a wish.”

The genie wasn’t sure what he was getting at by that wish, but there was nothing in the rules against wishing everybody in the building have a wish, so he granted it.

The elevator doors immediately opened. But before the writer could step out, the elevator doors slammed shut and the elevator plunged downward, then upward, then crashed through the building and when it finally stopped the elevator doors opened on hell. The flames shot into the elevator, growing larger, brighter, and hotter.

Shaken by the experience, the writer sputtered: “I wish I had never made my wish.”

The slammed shut. The fire was gone, and the elevator was exactly where it had been when the wishing first started.

Eventually the doors were opened and as the writer was helped out, somebody asked him how he had managed to survive over nine hours in such a small space with nothing to do.

The writer smiled: “I’m a writer. Many days I spend my time in a small space where nothing seems to happen. Usually my imagination fills in the gaps. This was more or less a typical day for me.”

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Monday morning writing joke: “The right block”

Genie: “You have one wish left.”

The writer thought about it for a few minutes. He looked around the bar. He had already messed up twice and didn’t want to screw up this third wish. Finally, he said, “I want to forget my writer’s block.”

“Is that your wish?”

“Yes, I wish to forget my writer’s block.”

The genie disappeared in a puff of smoke. The writer paid his bill and left the bar, happy to know that he would now be able to write again, once he remembered where he lived.

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Monday morning writing joke: “Anticipation”

Once upon a time a wannabe novelist finds a magic lantern. He rubs it and a genie appears. He had heard about the writer who asked to be a bestseller and that genie turned that writer into a book, so he thought he should try a different tack.

Instead, he asks his genie to speak to a bestselling fiction writer.

“It will take all three of your wishes to summon a person for you to talk to. If I do that, you will only get to ask this writer three questions.”

The wannabe writer sighs and nods his head. The genie waves his arms and the bestselling novelist appears.

The wannabe writer thinks for a moment, then asks: “What does it take to write a bestseller?”

The fiction writer says, “A novel, usually.”

The wannabe writer considers objecting, but sees the sharp look in the genie’s eyes and decides to move on to his next question. This time he tries to be clever, just like the novelist, and hopes to catch the novelist off-guard. “Okay, what was novel about your fiction writing?”

“That I wrote it,” said the novelist.

Frustrated, the wannabe writer tries to think up one question that will help him. Finally, he asks: “How long should a bestseller be?”

“Long enough,” the writer says, and then disappears.

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