Tag Archives: football

May 5, 2022 · 1:20 pm

“Hope for the creek”

Hope for the creek

The Hail Mary here /

Is neither pass nor prayer /

But hope for the creek.

050518

Leave a comment

Filed under 2018, haiku, Haiku to You Thursday, Old North Knoxville, photo, photo by David E. Booker, poem, poetry, Poetry by David E. Booker

Tagged as , , , , , , , , , , ,

May 4, 2018 · 11:56 pm

Photo finish Friday (and haiku): “Creek cleanup”

The Hail Mary here /
Is neither pass nor prayer /
but hope for the creek.

2018_Beth_Football 100dpi_5x5_bw_1465 copy

1 Comment

Filed under 2018, Photo by Lauren Booker, Photo Finish Friday, poetry by author

Tagged as , , , , , , , ,

August 29, 2016 · 7:29 am

Monday morning writing joke: “Time out”

There once was a sports writer extraordinaire, /

Who knew nothing of football and didn’t care. /

Touchdown, first down, /

He watched them all from a bar downtown, /

Where his vast knowledge he could share.

***

And a few football quotes and additional humor to help liven the week before college football begins.

“I don’t expect to win enough games to be put on NCAA probation. I just want to win enough to warrant an investigation.”
–Bob Devaney / Nebraska

“In Alabama, an atheist is someone who doesn’t believe in Bear Bryant.” –Wally Butts / Georgia

“I never graduated from Iowa. But I was only there for two terms Truman’s and Eisenhower’s.”
–-Alex Karras / Iowa

“I could have been a Rhodes Scholar except for my grades.”
–Duffy Daugherty / Michigan State

“If lessons are learned in defeat, our team is getting a great education.”
–Murray Warmath / Minnesota

“The only qualifications for a lineman are to be big and dumb. To be a back, you only have to be dumb.”
–Knute Rockne / Notre Dame

“We didn’t tackle well today, but we made up for it by not blocking.”
–John McKay / USC

“He doesn’t know the meaning of the word fear. In fact, I just saw his grades and he doesn’t know the meaning of a lot of words.” –Urban Meyer / Ohio State

Why do Tennessee fans wear orange? So they can dress that way for the game on Saturday, go hunting on Sunday, and pick up trash on Monday.

What does the average Alabama player get on his SAT? Drool.

How many Michigan State freshmen football players does it take to change a light bulb? None. That’s a sophomore course.

How did the Auburn football player die from drinking milk? The cow fell on him.

Two Texas A&M football players were walking in the woods. One of them said, “Look, a dead bird.” The other looked up in the sky and said,” Where?”

What do you say to a Florida State University football player dressed in a three-piece suit? “Will the defendant please rise.”

If three Rutgers football players are in the same car, who is driving? The police officer.

Leave a comment

Filed under 2016, Monday morning writing joke, poetry by author

Tagged as , , , , ,

September 14, 2015 · 7:14 am

Monday morning writing joke: “Mingle”

There once was a woman from Paris /

Who fell in love with an American named Harris. /

Their love life was bilingual /

But their sports lives wouldn’t mingle: /

For each, football broke up their wedded bliss.

***

Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Minnie says to Moo, “I was artificially inseminated this morning.”

“I don’t believe you,” says Moo.

“It’s true, no bull!” exclaims Minnie.

Leave a comment

Filed under 2015, Monday morning writing joke, poetry by author

Tagged as , , , , , , ,

January 11, 2014 · 10:46 am

The Devil’s Dictionary: “Academe, Academy, University”

A young Ambrose Bierce

A young Ambrose Bierce

In our continuing quest to revisit a classic, or even a curiosity from the past and see how relevant it is, we continue with The Devil’s Dictionary by Ambrose Bierce. Originally published in newspaper installments from 1881 until 1906. You might be surprised how current many of the entries are.

For example, here are definitions for Academe and Academy. The Old definitions are Bierce’s. The New definitions are mine or somebody else contemporary. The new definitions can also be simply examples of The Devil’s Dictionary definitions. From time to time, just as it was originally published, we will come back to The Devil’s Dictionary, for a look at it then and how it applies today. Click on Devil’s Dictionary in the tags below to bring up the other entries.

OLD DEFINITIONS:

ACADEME, n. An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught.

ACADEMY, n. (from academe). A modern school where football is taught.

NEW DEFINITIONS:

ACADEME, n. An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. (No such place exists in America today.)

ACADEMY, n. (from academe). A modern school where football is taught.

UNIVERSITY, n. A very modern school where only football is taught. It is also often the moral and philosophical code of many of the students, alumni, and politicians of such institutions. Such universities belong to aggregations that go by acronyms such as SEC, Big Ten, ACC, etc. Such Universities also serve the One True Higher Authority: the ABS — the Almighty Buck Speaks. Like any true higher authority, often times what is enunciated by the ABS and what is heard by the Students, Alumni, and Politicians (SAPs) are a Babel of pontifications.

[Editor’s note: Bierce did not have a definition for University, such has football grown since his time. Also note, there are some Universities where basketball is substituted for football. ]

2 Comments

Filed under Ambrose Bierce, Devil's Dictionary

Tagged as , , , , , , ,

September 29, 2011 · 11:29 pm

Dead Ball Foul

[Editor’s note: This is another one of those you can’t make this up stories. It’s all about how a dirty room lead to a football team’s downfall.]

http://www.tennessean.com/article/20110927/SPORTS07/309270017/Facebook-post-costs-Perry-County-three-football-wins?odyssey=tab|topnews|text|FRONTPAGE

A mother complaining on Facebook about her sons’ messy room led to Class 1A football power Perry County vacating three wins.

The Vikings, ranked third in Class 1A, will not be able to count wins over Cornersville, Forrest and Lewis County because they used two ineligible players.

Offensive linemen Rodney and Ryan Belasic were declared ineligible by the Tennessee Secondary School Athletic Association because their entire family does not live in Perry County.

“(Perry County) inadvertently played ineligible athletes in the first three ballgames,” TSSAA Executive Director Bernard Childress said. “It was two brothers that transferred. They got a residence in Perry County, but they had not vacated their residence completely in Henry County.”

Perry County’s record is 2-0. The win over Cornersville win was a Region 6-A game.

Childress said school officials thought the players’ entire family had moved to Perry County during the summer.

“But the mother actually works in Henry County, and she posted on her Facebook page that she sent the kids back to Perry County for the week and that she would not see them again until Friday night,” Childress said. “Then, later on her Facebook page, she posted, ‘How can two boys mess up their room as badly as they do when they’re only here on Saturday and Sunday?’ ”

Coaches and administrators in the Perry County area reported the Facebook posts to the TSSAA, which began interviewing the family.

When Childress notified Perry County of the potential problem two weeks ago, Vikings Coach Michael Harrison removed the Belasics from the team.

“We are sorry that this investigation happened and that the two players were deemed ineligible,” Harrison said in an emailed statement. “We hope to put this investigation behind us and move forward.”

The TSSAA defines a bona fide change of residence as “a move from one community to another that justifies a change of schools. Where a family continues to maintain a previous residence for the residential purposes of that family or any of its members, the move is not one that justifies a change of schools for purposes of the TSSAA bylaws.”

Cornersville, Forrest and Lewis County will keep the losses from Perry County on their records.

Individual statistics from those games still count. Quarterback Jacob Tucker is 93 yards from breaking the state career record for total offense and 13 touchdowns from the state career record.

Gladney dies: Buford Gladney, who won 127 games and a state championship in 16 seasons as football coach at Spring Hill, died Sunday following an illness. He was 66. Visitation is from 3-7 p.m. Wednesday and funeral services will be held at 11 a.m. Thursday, both at Oakes & Nichols Funeral Home in Columbia.

Contact Chip Cirillo at 615-664-2194 or ccirillo@tennessean.com. Contributing: Maurice Patton.

2 Comments

Filed under brothers, dirty room, Facebook, football, high school, humor, true story

Tagged as , , , , , , ,