All is calm, all is bright. /
Tree is up and full of light. /
Blinded my neighbor across the street. /
His retinas are fried like old, dried meat. /
Santa, come and visit me soon. /
This tree’s so bright, it’s an envy of the moon. /
I’ve been good, the best I’ve been yet. /
I only have one or two things I regret. /
The body in the basement, well that doesn’t count. /
She ticked me off with her bouncy flounce. /
And that man in the meat locker, he was frigid to me. /
Said I had COVID. Now how can that be? /
No, Santa, I have been very very good. /
My tree is bright. My wants be as they should. /
All is calm, all is bright /
Unless you pass me by on this special night.

