The seat
I bought the book /
with the cow on the couch /
and I wonder /
is this a Freudian slip, /
a Jungian shadow, or /
my mother’s sofa.
.
.
#cow #book #couch #sofa #freud #jung #mom #poem #poetry #humor #oldnorthknoxville #davidebooker #november #112622 #2022
Filed under 2022, photo, photo by David E. Booker, poem, poetry, Poetry by David E. Booker
There once was a writer from the farm
Who thought writing could do no harm.
Then one day while he uttered
Poetry he scribbled near a cow’s udder,
She kicked him because she was not charmed.
The fox said, pointing to the open field, “Maybe that’s where the cow jumped over the moon. Which brings up the philosophical question: Why did the cow jump over the moon?”
“Because it was trying to avoid the cattle drive.”
“But cows can’t drive,” the fox said.
“Cows can’t fly, either,” said the chicken hurriedly crossing the road.
Filed under 2019, joke by author, Monday morning writing joke
First-year students at the Purdue School of Veterinary Medicine were attending their first anatomy class with a real dead cow. They all gathered around the surgery table with the bovine body covered with a white sheet.
The professor started the class by telling them, “In Veterinary medicine it is necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor. The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving an animal’s body.” For an example, the professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the cow, withdrew it, and stuck his finger in his mouth. “Go ahead and do the same thing,” he told his students.
The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead cow and, sucked on it …. followed by assorted gagging, retching and spitting, etc.
When everyone had finished wiping their faces, the Professor looked at them and said, “The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention. Life is tough but it’s even tougher if you’re stupid.”
***
[Editor’s note: while not directly a writing joke, observation is also important to a writer.]
Filed under 2017, Monday morning writing joke
Oh, if my client weren’t thin,
I might try again
To give ol’ Ozzie a wondrous spin.
But as it stands now,
I’d have to be more than a cow
To udderly grasp the glass teat, oh how?
And if I chocked the chicken
It might take a lickin’
And come round a pickin’
a row
with the cow
or a sow
somehow.
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