Tag Archives: Christmas
Sunday writing prompt: “Happy Holidays”
Filed under 2018, Sunday silliness
Monday morning writing joke: “Wolf packed”
There once was a woman from Tangier /
Who had a wolf on her head, it appears. /
It would not go away /
Not even on Thanksgiving Day. /
He said, “By Christmas, I’ll have eaten you, my dear.”
Filed under 2018, Monday morning writing joke, poetry by author
Photo finish Friday: “Bone up”
A bone to pick.
Some people said their hearts weren’t in this Christmas season. Other said they could not stomach all the commercialism. Maybe what they really meant was they didn’t have the backbone necessary to deal with bickering relatives and pushy strangers. Maybe what they actually needed was a vertebrae or two or three under their Christmas trees.
Filed under 2016, photo by David E. Booker, Photo Finish Friday
Photo finish Friday: “It’s Christmas when…”
You know it’s Christmas when…
- You find a half-empty cup of eggnog in your refrigerator and you mix it with milk and chocolate syrup for your breakfast drink.
- You get to eat slightly lumpy chipped beef on toasted bagel, because, well, you’re home for the holidays and you just do.
- Your artificial Christmas tree sheds needles like real one.
- You set up your outdoor inflatable Christmas decorations and two of them die. One right out of storage from last Christmas, and the other shortly after it has been set up and inflated for this year.
- In order to entice your significant other into at least being more tolerant of your outdoor inflatables, you replace one of the ones that dies with something she likes but you have no fondness for – an inflatable pink flamingo. Even though it’s carrying a gift and wearing a red stocking cap, it still is not a favorite.
- Two Christmas packages arrive and they rattle – but they shouldn’t.
- You find a Christmas card from several years back from a friend and mentor whom you had lost touch with and learned recently died earlier this year.
- You pay a repair to fix a major appliance, and the problem he finds is an easy fix you should have seen if you had been a little more on the ball.
- You receive a present you wanted, but it turns out not to be all that interesting, but you also receive a present that you didn’t want and it turns out to be the most interesting thing you received. In kids, this is known as “The-cardboard-box-is-more-fun-to-play-with-than-the-toy-inside phenomenon.” It happens with adults, too. We just don’t generally call it that, or own up to it.
- To boldly go where no Christmas tree has gone … recently. For the first time in five years you get to put up your Star Trek Christmas tree. And because you have so many, you decide to limit the decorations to those from The Original Series, because it is the original and you are that old.
- A young lady shows up at your doorstep, gently tapping on your door, a bag of homemade Michelle Obama’s shortbread cookies in her hand. She gives them to you and says, “Merry Christmas.” Then she scurries away.
- You’re driving around with you kids looking at Christmas lights and see Santa crossing the street and walking into a dive bar on the edge of your neighborhood. Not sure how to explain that one.
Nothing says Christmas quite like an inflatable pink flamingo in a red cap.
“Beam me somewhere Mr. Scott. Any ol’ place in Earth or space. You pick the century and I’ll pick the spot.”
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. Happy Holidays, whichever ones you celebrate. Including Festivus for the Rest of Us,
Filed under 2016, photo by David E. Booker, Photo Finish Friday
Monday morning writing joke: “Typo”
There once was a writer whose Christmas /
Was not going too well with the misses. /
He had written a quick ditty /
About how she was still pretty /
But had used the name of his mistress.
Filed under 2015, Monday morning writing joke, poetry by author
Photo finish Friday: “En-light-ened”
Discussing the ramifications of an inflatable Christmas with her little brother.
Filed under 2015, photo by David E. Booker, Photo Finish Friday
Photo finish Friday: “Stealing one last look”
Before the holidays slip completely into memory, let’s steal on last look … or present.
Filed under Photo by author, Photo Finish Friday
Photo finish Friday: “Night lights”
Riding a bike at night, with over a thousand friends.
Some of the other night riders.
A family adding a little color to the night.
Knoxville’s eighth annual Tour de Lights drew around one thousand people for a December 19th, Friday night ride that started in Market Square and circled north through neighborhoods such as Old North Knoxville, before ending back near where it began. Many of the bikes and even the bicyclists where festooned in lights and other decorations, including costumes. to Market Square with lighted bikes and riders clad in all manner of holiday outfits.
Kelley Segars, transportation planner with the Knoxville Regional Transportation Planning Organization, said the first year the event was held, a little more than 100 people turned out.
“This year I’m guessing we probably broke 1,000 people, so we’ve definitely grown a lot and the weather was perfect this year,” she said.
The ride has become a part of the Christmas in the City events. The approximately hour-long ride started in Market Square before riders made their way to Gay Street, then to Fourth Avenue and Gill Street through Old North Knoxville and back to Market Square.
A bicycle was given away as a prize before the ride, and another was given away after the ride.
Filed under Photo by author, Photo Finish Friday
Sunday silliness: “They’re back!”
Charlie Brown, Snoopy, Woodstock, and friends blow in for the holiday season.
And they brought a friend and some fun.
Just when you think it is safe to go outside, to enjoy the season, to appreciate the outdoor decorations … you come across this!
Keep you distance … for if you dare and cross through the candy cane arch you will enter a world of both of silliness and air, strange lights and odd shapes, dark corners and strange surprises. You will have just crossed over … into the Holiday Zone.
Filed under holiday decor, Inflatables, Sunday silliness
Holiday Reprise: “Santa’s Setback”
This is a note to tell you
that Wall Street has taken away
the things I really needed:
my workshop, my reindeer, my sleigh.
I now make my rounds on a jackass;
he’s old and crippled and slow.
So, if you don’t see me come Christmas,
I’ll be out on my ass in the snow.
Santa mounts a new challenge.
[Editor’s note: original appeared in Dec. 2012, but brought back because it still applies. And because I can.]
Filed under cartoon by author, Christmas, poetry, Santa Claus, satire
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