
Eating
Aliens ate light. /
Time travels to the missing. /
Flowers in the sun.
.
.
#haiku #poem #poetry #sun #flower #sunflower #timetravel #aliens #light #ate #oldnorthknoxville #davidebooker #august #friday #2021

Eating
Aliens ate light. /
Time travels to the missing. /
Flowers in the sun.
.
.
#haiku #poem #poetry #sun #flower #sunflower #timetravel #aliens #light #ate #oldnorthknoxville #davidebooker #august #friday #2021
Filed under 2015, cartoon by author, CarToonsday
An alien crash lands on earth, wanders into a small town, finds the only house with a novelist in it and knocks on the door.
The novelist answers and after the initial shock of seeing such a strange creature, the creature hands him a note. It reads: “In your language, I have come to invade and conquer.”
The novelist scribbles something on a piece of notebook paper, tears it out, and hands it to the alien: “Why?”
The alien types in something on his keyboard and out prints his response: “Because you are weak and we are strong and this world has many things to offer us.”
“Does that include the asteroid on a collision course toward earth?” the novelist asks.
The alien thinks about that. After a moment, the alien turns and leaves.
The novelist turns back to his writing, knowing nobody would believe him if he put this incident in his novel: an alien with good grammar. Unbelievable. After all, fiction had to be believable.
Filed under Monday morning writing joke
For example, here are definitions for Alien, Alliance, Ambidextrous, Ambition, and Amnesty. The Old definitions are Bierce’s. The New definitions are mine or somebody else contemporary. The new definitions can also be simply examples of The Devil’s Dictionary definitions. From time to time, just as it was originally published, we will come back to The Devil’s Dictionary, for a look at it then and how it applies today. Click on Devil’s Dictionary in the tags below to bring up the other entries.
OLD DEFINITION:
ALIEN, n. An American sovereign in his probationary state.
ALLIANCE, n. In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other’s pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.
AMBIDEXTROUS, adj. Able to pick with equal skill a right-hand pocket or a left.
AMBITION, n. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.
AMNESTY, n. The state’s magnanimity to those offenders whom it would be too expensive to punish.
NEW DEFINITIONS:
(ILLEGAL) ALIEN, n. An un-American scofflaw unable to achieve a probationary state of any sort, at least as seen by some radical conservative elements. For them ALIEN is always preceded by ILLEGAL. This distinguishes him from the American scofflaw, who with enough money and AMBITION can form at least one ALLIANCE in which he can pick the pockets of friends and foes alike.
ALLIANCE, n. In National and International politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other’s pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third. However, as a grouped entity they often find a way to plunder others. The NRA plus the GOP being one fine example of how two groups manage to plunder a third, even to the point of death.
AMBITION, n. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead. (Nothing much new need be added to this.)
AMNESTY, n. The state’s magnanimity to those offenders whom it would be too expensive to punish or who have enough money to acquire amnesty as one acquires a Get-Out-Of-Jail-Free card in Monopoly. In other words, it would be too “expensive” to ignore the offer.
Filed under Devil's Dictionary