Best writing advice you’ve received?

Below is some writing advice gathered by Chip MacGregor of MacGregor Literary. The listing below is from his blog. Website for the agency is http://macgregorliterary.com/.

http://chipmacgregor.typepad.com/main/2011/12/whats-the-best-writing-advice-you-ever-got-.html

December 30, 2011

What’s the best writing advice you ever got?

I’ve had several people write to share the best writing advice they’ve ever received.

Vince Zandri, who has done numerous novels and sold more than a quarter million books, wrote to me and said, “The best writing advice I ever got came from Ernest Hemingway in the form of his memoir, A Moveable Feast. If writers are worried about one thing, it’s the ability to keep a story moving from day to day. To avoid the ‘block,’ as some people call it. Papa wrote slowly and methodically in the early morning hours, and trained himself to stop at a point where he knew what was going to happen next. That way he could be sure of getting started the next day — and it left him the afternoons to play, exercise, fish, drink, or do whatever he wanted.”

Successful nonfiction writer Mel Lawrenz wrote to say, “The best advice? Take the long view. See the long process of publishing as an advantage — the stages of writing, editing, rewriting, and revising make for a more refined end product. Don’t miss the opportunity to rethink what you originally wrote.”

Harlequin author Dana Mentink sent this: “The best writing advice I got as a pre-pubbed author was that I should act like a professional. My mentor encouraged me to treat my writing like a business, not a hobby. Put in the hours, describe yourself to others as a writer, and really put yourself into the mindset of a professional. She explained to me that there’s a big difference between ‘I want to write a book’ and ‘I want to be an author.’ The latter requires professional dedication.”

Children’s author Kayleen Reusser noted, “Believe in yourself, even if no one else does. At my beginning I was the only one who believed I could write and get published. Even my mother told me I could not write — no money, no time, three small children to care for. But I swore I would die trying. (Thank goodness it has not come to that.)”

And novelist Dianne Price wrote to say, “Know your characters. LIve with them. Talk to them. Listen to their words and the cadence of their speech. Make them your constant companions. Argue with them. Commiserate with them. Ask them questions. You must know them to make them believable.”

What about you? What’s the best writing advice you’ve ever heard?

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Parting shot: Mary Christmas

Mary Christmas

Mary Christmas, wherever you are.

Let us Harold in a New Year.

Commentary: in case you are wondering, this is an actual sign in the small city where I live. I could not win a spelling bee if thrown into one, but I do know that Merry can be Mary, and Mary Christmas could be the name of somebody, but usually it Merry before Christmas, and maybe after Christmas, too. I also know we all have our crosses to bare, and some of them can be more of a bear than others, but sometimes we bare our crosses in ways that might make Mary merry, especially with Harold around. Here’s hoping we can all find a dictionary in 2012 when we need one.

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Some things to do to celebrate the New Year

Bringing in the New Year

Some suggestions for bringing in the New Year

If you don’t already have plans, or looking for ways to try something new as the hour approaches midnight, consider these:

Japan: Omisko, New Year’s Eve, has been celebrated for several centuries, often with the ringing of a bell 108 times. This symbolizes repenting for each of the 108 bonno (moral desires) identified in Buddhism. (I didn’t know I had that many.)

Russia: In Moscow and probably other cities, many folks spend the final moments of the old year in silence. They write down wishes for the new year, burn them, pour the ashes into a wine glass, pour champagne in the glass, then drink the ash-infused wine, ensuring the wishes will come true. Bottoms up!

And if that is not enough of the grape for you, you can, as they do in Spain, eat twelve (12) grapes at midnight, one for each chime of the clock. This is supposed to bring good luck to each month of the coming year. There might still be time to go out and buy some grapes.

Then, when done with all your celebrating, be a mad Dane and take your plates to the homes of the people your love and break your dishes in their lawns. For full effect, you can recite some of Hamlet’s soliloquy: “To be a (broken dish) or not to be (a broken dish), that is the question….” Despite the apparent madness of this gesture, if you wake up and find a lot of broken dishes on your lawn, it is, in Denmark, a sign that you have many friends, or at least people who don’t want to do their dishes. This is, of course, hard to do with paper and plastic plates. But instead maybe you can set fire to them, after you write wishes on the bottoms, then drink to your friends’ health, and leave the empty plastic wine glass on their lawns. Toss in a dozen grapes for good measure, ring a bell 108 times outside their bedroom windows, and you might have all the bases covered for a wonder-filled 2012. After all, that’s the American Way.

Happy New Year!

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Literary resolutions

I pass these along, found on line in an article at the LA Times web site. I don’t generally make resolutions. In fact, the last resolution I made was to not make any resolutions, and thus far I have managed to keep that one. But for those who do, you might find some inspiration here.

Happy New Year Couple

Counting down the minutes to a new year of resolutions


Pen up.

Keyboards clacking.

Steady as she goes.

Happy New Year.

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/jacketcopy/2011/12/25-literary-resolutions-for-2012.html

When 2012 arrives this weekend, there will be resolutions aplenty. Diets! Exercise! Get organized! Figure out Google+! Quit smoking! Jacket Copy asked
writers, editors and publishers what their literary resolutions will be. Join them and tell us yours.

Ben Ehrenreich, author of the novel “Ether” and winner of a 2011 National Magazine Award for his article “The End”: That’s an easy one: write, write, write and write some more.

Richard Lange, author of the 2013 novel “Gather Darkness” (Mulholland): I’m going to reread “Moby-Dick,” “Crime & Punishment,” and “The Scarlet Letter.” Every time I go back to books that I loved as a kid, I learn more about myself as a writer now.

Dana Spiotta, author of the novel “Stone Arabia”: I have many books I want to read this year. For example, I have this inviting stack of Hollywood biographies and memoirs: “Rosebud” by David Thomson, “Frank: The Voice” by James Kaplan, “Run-through” by John Houseman, “Memo” by David O. Selznick, “A Girl Like I” by Anita Loos, and “Vanity Will Get You Somewhere: An Autobiography” by Joseph Cotten.

Antoine Wilson, author of the 2012 novel “Panorama City” (Houghton Mifflin Harcourt): For 2012, I expect to be doing more interacting with strangers, thanks to the new book coming out, so my resolution is simple: To be able to clearly and concisely answer the following question: “What are you reading?” Jervey Tervalon, author of “Serving Monster” and founder of Literature for Life: Start working on a new novel that will amuse and consume me; and I will not allow myself, not even for a second, to dwell on the bleakness of the publishing industry.

Elizabeth Crane, author of the 2012 novel “We Only Know So Much” (HarperPerennial): I don’t know if this is exactly literary, but the only real resolution I’m considering, which I haven’t etched in stone yet, is to give up watching entertainment shows (ET, etc). This might or might not help my writing, if only insofar as it will free up an hour of my life every day, but the hope is that it will help my celebrities-and-celebrity-news-makes-me-want-to-pull-my-hair-out problem.

Rachel Kushner, author “Telex from Cuba,” a National Book Award finalist: This year I am inspired by my friend Marisa Silver’s resolution from last year, which was no internet (except e-mail and occasionally facebook). My resolution is exactly that. Perhaps that’s bookish, in that it might create more time in which actual books can be read. I feel better already, sensing the loss of this convenient form of self-sabotage–of time. Time is of a premium. I don’t want to waste any. I have a feeling I will miss out on very little without the internet. Whatever it is, if it’s important enough it will find me.

Marisa Silver, author of the short story collection “Alone With You”: Read more poetry. Use fewer commas.

Evan Ratliff, founding editor of the multimedia iPad magazine The Atavist: I’m not a big resolution maker, but I would say on the literary front mine is pretty simple and obvious. It’s building on something I started late this year, which is to carve out specific, disconnected, undistracted time to read every day. Sometimes it’s sitting outside with a paperback, having left the phone and all other devices back at the office. Sometimes it’s actually reading a book on the phone (as you might imagine, I’m a big fan of reading books on the phone!), but having turned off all the phone’s connections. It’s like exercise, for me: The whole day gets better if I set aside the time for it. And as much as I love reading digital texts, it’s not the same if I stop three times in the middle to deal with some seemingly-urgent-but-not-really email.

Elissa Schappell, author of the short story collection “Blueprints for Building Better Girls”: It’s the Russians. It’s always the Russians. Oh yes, I’ll read the Russians in the summer months. Two summers ago, I developed such a bad case of Tolstoy’s elbow from hauling around “War and Peace” I could barely flip through a magazine. The summer before “Crime and Punishment” doubled as a drinks tray at a lawn party, and when I got spooked staying alone at a friend’s summer house, I kept it by the door as a weapon. This year, however I’m more hopeful–I’m starting, more appropriately, in winter. Beginning tomorrow I’m going to make “Anna Karenina” my new BFF.

James Hannaham, author of the novel “God Says No”: This year I want to figure out why, when an author says the phrase “working on a story collection,” as in “I’m working on a story collection,” everyone in publishing reacts as if they have instead heard the phrase “molesting several children.” And I will continue to pray for the demise of e-books, or at least the demise of the stupid fear that they will replace printed books.

Ben Greenman, author of the short story collection “What He’s Poised to Do”: I want to reread all the Emily Dickinson poems, in order, at a slow enough rate that I understand them but a fast enough rate to keep it exciting. It’s not as easy at it sounds. And I also plan to think about why, in a time of reduced attention spans, short stories aren’t getting more traction.

Mark Haskell Smith, author of the 2012 nonfiction book “Heart of Dankness: Underground Botanists, Outlaw Farmers, and the Race to the Cannibas Cup” (Broadway): For 2012 I owe my editor a novel, so I’ll be working on that.

Patrick deWitt, author of the novel “The Sisters Brothers,” a 2011 Booker Prize finalist: My resolution is to further distance myself from the internet, and to use the time I would have spent re-re-rewatching that “screwing/puking dogs” GIF reading and writing.

Rob Spillman, editor of the literary magazine Tin House: Since I read contemporary work constantly for work, my resolution is to continue my recent streak of reading great older work that I missed or glossed over in my youth. I’m about to finish “House of Mirth,” which I can’t believe I never read before. Next up is “Moby-Dick,” which I half-read when I was twenty. On the horizon Waugh and more Wharton.

Janelle Brown, author of the novel “This is Where We Live”: Write a rough draft of a new novel. No pressure.

Johnny Temple, publisher of Akashic Books: 2012 marks the 50-year anniversary of the independence of both Jamaica and Trinidad & Tobago (both former British colonies), so my resolution for the coming year is to celebrate Caribbean-inspired independence.

Emma Straub, bookseller and author of the short-story collection “Other People We Married”: I think 2012 is going to be my year for one of the giant masterpieces: Anthony Powell’s “Dance to the Music of Time,” maybe, or Proust. Also, since no one answered my call for help and bought me all the NYRB classics in 2011, that resolution will have to shift onto the coming year.

Laila Lalami, author of the novel “Secret Son”: For the last couple of years, I’ve been working on my new novel and have been reading almost exclusively fiction and nonfiction that’s relevant to it in in some way. In 2012, I’d like to read some new fiction!

Chad Post, editor of Open Letter Books: In 2012, I’m going to read a ton of really long books. I’m going to start with Murakami’s “1Q84,” but also want to read Nadas’ “Parallel Lives,” the new translation of “War and Peace,” the whole Javier Marias “Your Face Tomorrow” trilogy, maybe “Bleak House” in honor of Dickens’ 200th birthday, and Pynchon’s “Against the Day” (the only book of his I have yet to finish). I feel like I’ve been putting off so many of these books for so long, because they’ll “take too long” to read. That’s ridiculous, and in a way, I think this little project will be a nice antidote to my normal state of being all ADD and jumping from one article or novella to the next.

Ned Vizzini, television writer and author of the young adult novel “It’s Kind of a Funny Story”: For 2012 I resolve to read 10 books for no other reason than because I want to — books (1) by people I don’t know (2) that I am not reviewing (3) that do not have any potential for film or TV.

Pamela Ribon, screenwriter and author of the 2012 novel “You Take It From Here” (Gallery Books): In 2012I resolve to get new curtains, because I believe my neighbors (and various passersby on the street) are watching me whenever I’m playing my XBox Kinect workout. The other day I’m pretty sure I saw one of them with a bowl of popcorn.

Tod Goldberg, director of the creative writing MFA program at UC Riverside, Palm Desert, and author of the short-story collection “Where You Lived,” resolved: My only real literary resolution for 2012 is to finish my new novel, which I then hope Salman Rushdie will read, on his Kindle.

Saïd Sayrafiezadeh, author of the memoir “When Skateboards Will Be Free”: Stop looking at so much porn.

Colin Robinson, co-publisher OR Books, which has just published “Occupying Wall Street: The Inside Story of an Action That Changed America”: My resolution for 2012 is for OR Books to develop further direct relationships with those who want to read our titles so as to bypass corporate retailers whose only significant role in the publishing process is taking all the money. Oh, and also to publish some great books.

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The Devil’s Dictionary: Trust

Every now and then, it is good to revisit a classic, or even a curiosity from the past. The Devil’s Dictionary by Ambrose Bierce was originally published in newspaper installments from 1881 until 1906. You might be surprised how current many of the entries are.

For example, here is a definition for the word abasement. The first definition is Bierce’s. The second one is mine. From time to time, just as it was originally published, we will come back to The Devil’s Dictionary, for a look at it then and how it applies today. Click on Devil’s Dictionary in the tags below to bring up the other entries.

Old definition
Trust, n. In American politics, a large corporation composed in greater part of thrifty working men, widows of small means, orphans in the care of guardians and the courts, with many similar malefactors and public enemies.

Updated definition
Trust, n. In American politics, trust is that which is used to cover up what the “truth” won’t hide. For example, U.S. Senators and Representatives who beat the drum and say don’t trust the government, but do trust them. Truth is, once elected, they are the government and very few want to leave, even those crying out for smaller government. Along the way, they wish to create widows and retirees of small means, orphans in the care of of somebody else, and similar malefactor and public enemies, such as the ever shrinking middle class.

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A modest proposal

First, the news:

Gov. Bill Haslam, Beth Harwell hesitant on drug-testing proposal

http://www.knoxnews.com/news/2011/dec/27/gov-bill-haslam-beth-harwell-hesitant-drug-testing/

Tennessee legislature Senate Speaker Ron Ramsey says he expects lawmakers will pass a bill requiring drug tests for Tennesseans who get government assistance or workers’ compensation.

Other high-ranking Republicans aren’t so confident.

Ramsey recently told the Nashville Chamber of Commerce that a similar proposal last legislative session carried a $12 million price tag but didn’t take into account the savings from cutting off benefits to drug users.

House Speaker Beth Harwell says that while she agrees with the aim of the drug-testing proposal, the state’s top priority is balancing its budget.

Gov. Bill Haslam has raised questions about whether the federal government’s rules for the benefits programs give the state enough flexibility to start drug-testing recipients.

Now, a bit of older news:

Would you trust this man?

Tennessee state representative mug shot

Would you trust this man?

Would you trust this man with a handgun?

Would you trust him if you knew he was an ex-Memphis police officer?

Would you trust him if you knew he was an ex-police officer with a .38-caliber handgun tucked between the driver’s seat and console of his SUV?

Would you trust him if you knew he refused to take a Breathalyzer test, after being stopped by Nashville police officers for driving 60 miles per hour in a 40 mph zone and weaving across the double yellow lines on a street near Vanderbilt University?

Would you trust him if you knew he was Tennessee state Representative, Republican from Collierville?

Would you trust him if you knew he was the House sponsor of the bill (later mad law) allowing handguns in bars?

If so, Curry Todd, the man in photo, is the person you would trust.

Your tax dollars at work.

It will be interesting see how the state Republicans protect one of their own who to the serve part of the motto “to Protect and Serve” to mean how many drinks he could serve himself and still drive.

Sources:
www.knoxnews.com/news/2011/oct/12/lawmaker-arrested-on-drunken-driving-gun-charges/

www.knoxnews.com/news/2011/oct/12/sponsor-of-tennessee-guns-in-bars-bill-charged/

Modest proposal

Given the existence of a possible drug problem within the Tennessee State legislature and since public officials are receiving public assistance, too, I propose that if they pass this law that the legislature have the moral rectitude to include themselves in the testing as well. And that any representative, senator, or governor that turns up with a positive drug test, including excessive use of alcohol, be automatically kicked out of office and that all pay and benefits end immediately. Furthermore, any state politician who has retired from office and is receiving any money or benefits from the state of Tennessee should also be subjected to this testing, with the same consequences. Furthermore, any positive results should be turned over to the proper authorities for potential criminal prosecution.

What do you think the chances of that are?

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Filed under GOP, government, political humor, politicians, politics, Republicans, satire, state government

Santa or the Grinch

Santa or the Grinch

Santa or the Grinch this Christmas Eve?

Santa or the Grinch this Christmas Eve?
Have you been good
or is that hard to conceive?
Will you get presents or a lump of coal?
If Santa sees you,
will he shake like jelly in a bowl?
Santa or the Grinch this Christmas Eve?
Have you been naughty
or is that hard to believe?
Will you get presents or a lump of coal?
If the Grinch sees you
will he howl loud and bold?
Santa or the Grinch this Christmas Eve?
In which one
will you believe?
Someone will slide down you chimney tonight
Will he leave presents
or take them outright?

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Santa in the bathtub

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There now is a man named Santa

who lives somewhere north of Atlanta.

He’s in a tub today;

soon will be coming your way —

so don’t take being good for grant-ah.

 

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“Wings” to heaven.

DEAR ABBY: I am a middle-aged woman who is Baptist by faith. I believe that when I die I will go to heaven, My problem is, if going to heavean means being reunited with my parents and other family members, then I don’t want to go! The idea of spending eternity with them is more than I can stand, but I don’t want to go to hell, either. Any thoughts? –Eternally Confused in Mississippi

DEAR ETERNALLY CONFUSED: Yes. When you reach the pearly gates, talk this over with St. Peter. Perhaps he would be willing to place you in a different wing than the one your parents and other family members are staying in. And in the meantime, discuss this with your minister.

&&&

Sometimes, you just can’t make things up. The entry above appeared in the Dear Abby column of my local paper in November of this year. In one sense, it needs no commentary, though it does remind me of the quote from mark Twain: “Heaven for climate and hell for society.” This also seems like a question the writer should have been asking of her minister before asking Dear Abby or even instead of Dear Abby, whose response is interesting and yet odd in its own way. “Wings” to heaven?  Is this an attempt at a pun?

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The Force a religion in Czech Republic

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/12/18/star-wars-a-religion-in-czech-republic_n_1156516.html?ncid=edlinkusaolp00000003

and

http://www.ceskapozice.cz/en/news/society/czech-census-shows-jump-%E2%80%98moravians%E2%80%99-%E2%80%93-and-jedi-knights


‘Star Wars’ A Religion In Czech Republic, According To New Census


The Jedi Temple may have been destroyed in the Great Jedi Purge, but that hasn’t deterred some people from worshipping The Force.

According to CzechPosition.com, the results of the Czech Republic’s new census that were unveiled this month reveal that 15,070 citizens of the country listed their religion as Knights of the Jedi. While that may pale in comparison to the 1.08 million people who self-identified as Catholics and over four million who declined to list their faith, it’s still a sizable portion of people who believe — or jokingly claim to — in the intangible energy made famous by the “Star Wars” films.

Though the Czech Knights of the Jedi wrote in their choice, other nations, such as New Zealand and Great Britain, already list the Jedi Church amongst the formal religion options. According to Time Magazine, over 390,000 Britons said that they practiced the religion in 2001.

The Church of the Jedi’s website pitches their faith as less bizarre than it may seem. The Force, they say, is “an energy field created by all living things. It surrounds us, penetrates us, and binds the galaxy together,” and “is a concept that most religions of the world concur with. Some refer to it as their deity, some refer to it as a life force, but the one thing nearly all religions agree with, is that there exists a single unifying force.”

“Star Wars,” the Church says, helped create the religion’s terminology, but it did not create the faith itself.

May the Force be with you

On the religious front, the overall picture after a 10-year delay does not seem to have radically changed. The Catholic Church still commands the biggest following with 1.08 million believers, followed by the Evangelical Church of the Czech Brethren (at just under 52,000), and the Hussites (at 39,276). Around 700,000 people said they believed in something spiritual but could not identify it.

While almost half the population, 4.8 million, shied away from answering the voluntary religious question, a surprising strong showing was given by those Czechs who described themselves as  Knights of the Jedi and believers in “the Force” as depicted in the Star Wars films.

© Lucasfilm
Luke Skywalker, Princess Leia and Han Solo would feel right at home in the Czech capital

Overall, 15,070 Czechs identified themselves as Knights of the Jedi with the biggest proportion of adherents in the capital, Prague, with 3,977 followers or 0.31 percent of the population. The fewest “knights” were found in the central region of Vysočina, just 0.08 percent of the population. It is probably off most Star Wars intergalactic radars or galactic positioning systems.

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