Bad Sex In Fiction Awards: The Connoisseur’s Compendium

Describing the union of bodies can sometimes have unintended consequences … and awards.

professorwu's avatarnothing in the rulebook

Spasming muscles, groans, whispers, licked ears, sweat, bucking, otherwise central zones: if you hear those terms, you know you can be only be reading about one thing: the Bad Sex in Fiction Award, a prize established 23 years ago by the Literary Review.

Each year since 1993, the Bad Sex in Fiction Award has honoured an author who has produced an outstandingly bad scene of sexual description in an otherwise good novel. The purpose of the prize is to draw attention to poorly written, perfunctory or redundant passages of sexual description in modern fiction, and to discourage them. The prize is not intended to cover pornographic or expressly erotic literature.

The Award was established by Rhoda Koenig, a literary critic, and Auberon Waugh, at that time editor of Literary Review.

Because we wouldn’t want you having to sift through the archives, we’ve brought you this: a compendium of…

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21 Great Novels Worth Finding the Time to Read

21 Must-Read Novels

by Jacquelyn Mitchard

Source: http://www.aarp.org/entertainment/books/info-03-2012/21-must-read-novels.html?cmp=SNP-DSO-FB-ENT-FB_CONTENT_2016_ENT&s_kwcid=AL!4520!45!0bfd56f43fb133993b259a359113b691&ef_id=VtxKvwAABHGV34xO:20160722131844:o#slide1

Kill a Mocking Bird 100dpi_4x6_4cI began to list a dozen novels that everyone should read before age 50, but quickly realized that if all you want is a dozen, you should ask an economist, not a novelist. Still, stories are what help us best understand why we are how we are. So after consulting people I admire and my own mental file, I included only novels that I believe you really ought to read. Here are the novels picked, starting with the 21st place selection …

Books range from Charlotte’s Web by E.B. White to The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald to To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee. To see the full list, go to: 21 Great Novels Worth Finding the Time to Read

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Photo finish Friday: “Look up”

It's a bird. It's a plane. It's a lamppost.

It’s a bird. It’s a plane. It’s a lamppost.

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Haiku to you Thursday: “Passing seasons”

Winter, quietly. /

Summer, intensely. /

Fall and Spring, without regrets.

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cARtOONSdAY: “tHERAPY”

What are little girls made of: Freud or Jung?

What are little girls made of: Freud or Jung?

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Monday morning writing joke: “Agreeable”

A subject, a verb, and a direct object enter a bar and sit on the stools.

“What’ll ya have?” the bartender asks.

“I’ll have whatever he’s having,” the noun said pointing to the direct object.

“Same for me,” the verb said, “but make mine to go.”

The bartender then looked directly at the direct object.

The direct object rolled his eyes back and fluttered his lips. “All day,” he said, “all day and now we finally have a noun-verb agreement and I have no clue what I want.”

The subject looked at the verb. “I told you he was a third wheel.”

“Let’s go,” the verb said.

“Agreed,” said the subject and they left.

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X-rays reveal 1,300-year-old writings inside later bookbindings

The words of the 8th-century Saint Bede are among those that have been found by detecting iron, copper and zinc – constituents of medieval ink

By Dalya Alberge

Source: https://www.theguardian.com/books/2016/jun/04/x-rays-reveal-medieval-manuscripts

Ancient book reveraled 100dpi_6x4_4c

Medieval manuscripts that have been hidden from view for centuries could reveal their secrets for the first time, thanks to new technology.

Dutch scientists and other academics are using an x-ray technique to read fragments of manuscripts that have been reused as bookbindings and which cannot be deciphered with the naked eye. After the middle ages manuscripts were recycled, with pages pasted inside bindings to strengthen them. Those fragments may be the unique remains of certain works.

Dr Erik Kwakkel, a medieval book historian at Leiden University, told the Observer: “It’s really like a treasure trove. It’s extremely exciting.”
Professor Joris Dik, of the Delft University of Technology, described the potential for finding new material with clues to the past as “massive”. The technology does not just make hidden texts visible, but legible.

Access to such “hidden libraries” has been made possible by macro x-ray fluorescence spectrometry (MA-XRF), which allows pages to be read without removing the bookbinding.

Bindings made between the 15th and 18th centuries often contain hidden manuscript fragments that can be much older. Bookbinders used to cut up and recycle handwritten books from the middle ages, which had become old-fashioned following the invention of printing. These fragments, described by Kwakkel as “stowaways from a distant past”, are within as many as one in five early modern age printed books.

Kwakkel added: “Much of what we’re finding is 15th or 14th century, but it would be really nice to have Carolingian material, so from the ninth century or even older. It would be great to find a fragment of a very old copy of a Bible, the most important text in the middle ages. Every library has thousands of these bindings, especially the larger collections. If you go to the British Library or the Bodleian [in Oxford], they will have thousands of these bindings. So you can see how that adds up to a huge potential.”

Experiments have found a fragment from a 12th-century manuscript that includes excerpts from the work of Bede, the 8th-century monk and scholar. The researchers were even able to disassemble multiple pages that had been pasted on to one another, making the text legible. In one case, they could read each of three medieval pages that had been glued together. Elsewhere, they found two fragments stuck together underneath the cover of a 16th-century binding.

Dik’s team originally developed the technology, in collaboration with others, to “visualise” hidden layers in Old Master paintings. In 2011, for example, they discovered a previously unknown self-portrait by Rembrandt beneath another work. Although faint and unfinished, it dispelled doubts about the surface picture’s attribution to the 17th-century Dutch master, to the excitement of art historians.

Now the technology has proved to be “equally efficient in the visualisation of hidden medieval inks,” he said. “A thin beam of x-rays is used to scan the object, charting the presence and abundance of various elements below the surface. That is how iron, copper and zinc, the main element constituents of medieval inks, could be viewed, even when covered by a layer of paper or parchment.”

The problem, though, is that the current methodology is painfully slow, with scans sometimes taking more than 24 hours. Faster techniques are being explored. Dik said: “Right now, we’ve shown that it works.”

The research has been subsidised by the Young Academy, a branch of the Royal Netherlands Academy of Arts and Sciences.

Last year it emerged that techniques had been developed to decipher ancient papyrus scrolls that were burned black and buried in ash when Mount Vesuvius erupted 2,000 years ago. Vito Mocella, a scientist in Naples, found that they could read some of the scrolls without unravelling them by peering inside with x-rays.

Referring to Mocella’s technology, Dik said: “It’s different. The papyrus texts are hidden inside papyrus. We’re looking at stuff that is covered by something that is much thicker. Parchment and papyrus are quite different. Parchment is a much thicker, denser material.”

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Photo finish Friday: “Chicken”

A special delicacy, if you can stomach it.

A special delicacy, if you can stomach it.

Chicken

by David E. Booker

Boneless Skinless Children’s Thighs.
Picked up a pack and to my surprise
The taste just hit me right between the eyes:
chicken.

Didn’t matter how I had them made:
Sautéed, fried, or in a marinade.
One small taste did all to persuade:
chicken.

I even tried eleven herbs and spices.
Mixed in rice, lettuce, and tomato slices.
It did not matter what culinary devices:
chicken.

I consulted a cannibal from a foreign land.
Who said such boneless thighs would not stand.
Children were not on his diet plan:
chicken.

Boneless Skinless Children’s Thighs.
I saw the ad right before my own eyes.
I handed the neighbors’ kids over with no good-byes:
chicken.

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Haiku to you Thursday: “Tastes”

Without your whisper /

my ear hears only stale words. /

Summer tastes empty.

[Editor’s note: This is a variation on the Haiku posted last Thursday, entitled “Silence.”]

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cARtOONSdAY: “cASE lOGIC 12: “rUNNY eGGS”

Nobody had thrown any eggs yet, but Gumshoe was certain that was about happen. Was this what it had come to: runny eggs and run on sentences?

Nobody had thrown any eggs yet, but Gumshoe was certain that was about happen. Was this what it had come to: runny eggs and run on sentences?

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