Category Archives: word play

Giving 110 Percent

The blathering idiot attended a seminar where the presenter, a microphone clipped over his ear and an overabundance of enthusiasm clipped onto his voice, told the audience that the key to success in work, in financial success, in love, in all of life was to give not 50 percent, not 75, not even 100, but “110 percent.”

After the all-day workshop, the blathering idiot returned home to find a pile of bills waiting for him. He opened them and totaled how much he owed for the minimum monthly payments, and it was 130 percent of what he earned. He smiled, closed his eyes, and waited for success to come.

3 Comments

Filed under blathering idiot, humor, observation, Random Access Thoughts, word play, words, writing

Get a grip

The blathering idiot stood in front of the full-length hallway mirror. He looked down at his left hand. Then he looked down at his right hand. He brought his right hand up toward the mirror and turned, open-palm outward so he could see its reflection in the mirror. He did the same thing with the left hand. He then turned the left hand toward the right one and bent the fingers and thumb to make a beak.

“Hello, right hand,” he said as he flapped the beak open and closed.

The right hand remained palm outward toward the mirror.

The left hand waited a minute, then tried again. “Hello, right hand. I’m the left hand and would like to get to know you so that I know what you’re up to.”

The right hand turned slightly toward the left, curled into a fist, but then wiggled its thumb like a lower-lip: “Harrumph.”

It then fled to the safety of the front pants’ pocket.

The left hand turned toward the blathering idiot. “How do you intend to handle this?”

The blathering idiot shrugged. “Maybe the right hand doesn’t want to know what the left hand is doing.”

The left hand smacked him. “Get a grip.”

1 Comment

Filed under blathering idiot, characters, humor, Random Access Thoughts, word play, words, writing

The blathering idiot

Once upon a time in a street not so far away, a piece of history came floating by. It rode on a clown of expectation, juggled just high enough for everybody to see, if you were looking. I looked, but in the end could not figure out what was going on. Then a frog hopped up to me and said, “Your tie’s on backwards.” But I wasn’t wearing a tie, and least I wasn’t until I felt up around my neck to be sure and realized that somebody had slipped a noose around my shoulders when I wasn’t looking. The other end was dangling over a tree limb in my front yard. A rake was dangling from another tree limb. I had been raking until I saw the piece of history floating by. Then I had stopped and stepped to the street to see what it was all about. And now there was a noose around my neck. Some days it just doesn’t pay to watch the parade of history go by.

Leave a comment

Filed under humor, observation, Random Access Thoughts, word play, words, writing

The perils of writing: building a better story

Writing tips

Man with paperclips in his nose and ears.

The perils of writing

My writing is distinctly middle brow. Just ask anybody who has suffered through it. Still, I like to think that even in my middling way, I can still offer some helpful advice when I stumble across it. Therefore, from time to time, I will post some writing advice, but not from me. The advice will come from established sources. I will endeavor not to make it overlong or overreaching, and sometimes it will simply be reminders of what we all probably already know, but it will be some tips I have picked up from reading, from attending writing conferences, or it may even come from you.

The first bit of advice comes from a writing course the Writers’ Guild sponsored way back in 1993. The teacher was Joseph Gunnels and the cost was $75. It was two-day event, May 15 and 16, and we spent part of a pleasant afternoon sitting on the grass outside the Candy Factory on The World’s Fair site in Knoxville, TN. I took over 30 pages of notes, but rather than bore you with details, here is the essence of what I took away from the seminar:

Drama is conflict;
Without conflict no action;
Without action no character;
Without character no story;
Without story, who cares?

In a future issue of this newsletter, I’ll give you a short, crisp definition for conflict that I learned at a more recent one-day writing seminar. It comes from a very highly regarded script doctor in Hollywood, but applies just as well to other forms of fiction writing. Stay turned.

Leave a comment

Filed under how to, the perils of writing, word play, writing, writing tip

For something he didn’t know

She searched the island high and low,
Finding it with an old man moving slow.
She said it was an heirloom,
That a thief tried to make room
In his life for something he didn’t know.

Leave a comment

Filed under hero, humor, limerick, poem, poetry, portmanteau, Random Access Thoughts, story, story poem, word play, words, writing

Some lost their minds, others their boots

People clustered into small groups,
Seeing their land throw up its roots.
Fighting against their fear,
Certain the end was near,
Some lost their minds, others their boots.

2 Comments

Filed under humor, limerick, poem, poetry, portmanteau, Random Access Thoughts, word play, words, writing

Could only feel her ill-will

It found the girl standing still
As all the world was in a spill.
It tried to reach her;
It tried to beseech her,
But could only feel her ill-will.

1 Comment

Filed under humor, limerick, poem, poetry, portmanteau, story poem, word play, writing

The ground beneath it break

The portmanteau felt the ground quake.
Leaves sliding off its back like snakes.
As it searched for the girl,
The world in a tilt-a-whirl,
It felt the ground beneath it break.

Leave a comment

Filed under humor, limerick, poem, poetry, portmanteau, Random Access Thoughts, story poem, word play, words, writing

She clutched the sleeve despite the dread

“Give him your half coat,” the gnome said
“If you don’t, we will all be dead.”
The girl said, “No, no pass.”
Her heart now stone and half glass,
She clutched the sleeve despite the dread.

Leave a comment

Filed under humor, limerick, poem, poetry, portmanteau, Random Access Thoughts, story poem, word play, words, writing

The sleeve to which she was bound

Sleaze stood still, but kept losing ground
As a precipice formed around.
The coat might save him,
If only the girl gave him,
The sleeve to which she was bound.

Leave a comment

Filed under humor, limerick, poem, poetry, Random Access Thoughts, story, story poem, word play, words, writing