Extended magazine of inaction.
Give ‘em.
Give ’em a gun; give ’em a Bible. /
Watch as they turn and go tribal. /
“An Act of God,” is their refrain /
as the children cry out in pain.
.
.
#give #bible #pain #tribal #refrain #cartoonnotmine #poem #poetry #guns #davidebooker #040815 #2015
Filed under 2015, poem, poet, poetry, poetry by author, Poetry by David E. Booker, satire, Uncategorized
Dogs and Cats of Ohio
I heard they’re eating pets in Ohio,
Dogs and cats to name a few,
And if they’re not available,
Rabbits, rodents, and rats will do.
I heard the town was Springfield,
Where Bart Simpson is said to live.
Pest control went to his door
And asked, “What the hell gives?”
Bart said he knew nothing of it.
Then he belched and he sighed.
In the back, a bearded Vance
Held up a held up a cat: “Have you tried?”
BK Junior descended to town
With his wild frontier show.
Left a dead bear in the park
So everybody would know.
Then a felon feeling compelling
Tried to put Fear upon the stage.
But being foretold he was too old
Donning a fool’s errand rage.
And the beast it did consume him
In its ever-pitiless way
And once the beast had self eaten.
Not even a cat could find a stray.
.
.
#091124 #dogs #cats #ohio #poem #political #satire #maga #felondon #september #wednesday #davidebooker #meme #2024
Filed under 2024, poem, poet, poetry, poetry by author, Poetry by David E. Booker, political humor, satire
Tiger lily
No, Mr. Baker,
it is not an
invasion.
It’s a Tiger lily.
The invasion comes
a few days
later
with beer and
outdoor cooking.
That’s when
the aliens
—grill your meat
—light your fireworks
—conflagrate and celebrate
your auto-da-fe future.
.
.
#humor #poem #poetry #satire #tigerlily #flower #alien #invasion #auto-da-fe #oldnorthknoxville #davidebooker #photo #June #Wednesday #062823 #2023
Rhymes with orange
He bickers and whines. /
One is eight or nine. /
One wears a red tie.
.
.
#poem #haiku #davidebooker #poetry #poet #writing #writer #may #saturday #2019 #orange #redtie #child #whines #bickers #trump #photo #050419
Filed under 2019, haiku, photo, poem, poetry, poetry by author, Poetry by David E. Booker, satire
No popcorn, no pets
No popcorn, no pets,
No baseball, no regrets,
Rapture to heaven
Is no Seven / Eleven.
No Slushies, no Mars bars,
No pizza, no beer bars.
In heaven, the best
Beat their bloody chests
And sing hosanna
At the absence of fauna.
Nothing to make you sneeze
As you fall to your knees.
Fluffy’s on Earth
About to give birth
And if you want us to care,
Put your money there
On the web site line,
So Fluffy will be fine.
When to heaven you go
But your pets are a no-no,
We will watch them with love
While you’re in heaven above.
We atheists who remain
Or Hindus or Jaynes,
Or Jews or Buddhists
Or even the occasional nudist,
We will take care of your pets
So you’ll have no regrets,
No guilt on your soul,
Because you will know
Your Fuffy is fine
As long as your dimes shine.
070922
Filed under 2022, humor, poem, poetry, Poetry by David E. Booker, satire, Saturday, Silly Saturday
This is a note to tell you
that Wall Street has taken away
the things I really needed:
my workshop, my reindeer, my sleigh.
I now make my rounds on a jackass;
he’s old and crippled and slow.
So, if you don’t see me come Christmas,
I’ll be out on my ass in the snow.
Santa mounts a new challenge.
[Editor’s note: original appeared in Dec. 2012, but brought back because it still applies. And because I can.]
Filed under cartoon by author, Christmas, poetry, Santa Claus, satire
In our continuing quest to revisit a classic, or even a curiosity from the past and see how relevant it is, we continue with The Devil’s Dictionary by Ambrose Bierce. Originally published in newspaper installments from 1881 until 1906. You might be surprised how current many of the entries are.
For example, here is a definition for the words Conservative and Republican, which have become synonymous. The Old definitions are Bierce’s. The New definition is mine or somebody else contemporary. From time to time, just as it was originally published, we will come back to The Devil’s Dictionary, for a look at it then and how it applies today. Click on Devil’s Dictionary in the tags below to bring up the other entries.
OLD DEFINITION
Conservative, n. A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal, who wishes to replace them with others.
NEW DEFINITION
Conservative, n. I don’t think anything has changed since Bierce first defined conservative as he did, and little can be done to improve on it, other than to say that Conservative and Republican have become so interconnected in U.S. politics as to become two wings of the same buzzard. See Republican(s).
Republicans, n. Republicans are the party that says government doesn’t work, and then they get elected and prove it. –P.J. O’Rourke
In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice that I am not a Republican. –H.L. Mencken
Final thoughts:
So, here we have a political party (Republican) that purports to be the party of Conservative, heterosexual, bedrock social/Christian values, in which in Tennessee, in the county of Knox a commissioner stands (an obviously appropriate word in this case) accused of indecent exposure with another man for lewd behavior; a former Knox County mayor gets a divorce because of an alleged affair — and maybe more than one. (At least he waited until toward the end of his time in office to get divorced.); a current Knox County mayor is getting a divorce (at the start of his administration and only four years after saying “I do.”); a Tennessee state representative and a former police officer gets arrested for driving drunk in Nashville, TN, with a loaded gun in his front seat; another Tennessee state representative carves her initials in her publicly owned seat in the state capital, dresses down a Tennessee Highway Patrol Officer for a ticket she got for speeding, and has “interesting” photos of herself on the Internet; a Tennessee state senator uses bogus science and bullying logic to advance a biased personal agenda, and when challenged claims he’s being discriminated against; a national presidential candidate has more affairs than another national presidential candidate has had wives (and that takes a little doing); and that same multi-wife presidential candidate’s current wife has a debt at Tiffany’s over 5 times (and maybe even 10 times) larger than the yearly average American family household income. So with all this moral rectitude and personal frugalness coming from the political party (Republican) claiming to defend Conservative, heterosexual, bedrock social/Christian values, what I want to know is this: When did Peyton Place become a family value?
Filed under Ambrose Bierce, Conservative, Devil's Dictionary, Republicans, satire
Booker's Blog 
Life is like a box of … politicians
http://www.knoxnews.com/news/2013/mar/13/wine-in-grocery-stores-bill-dies-by-1-vote-in/?partner=popular
Wine-in-grocery-stores bill dies by 1 vote in House committee
Why is it in my state, Tennessee, I can walk into a Super Wal-Mart and buy a rack of lamb and a box of bullets, but I can’t go in a buy a rack of lamb and box of wine?
Tennessee State flag
Somehow, according to the fine, upstanding, bought and paid for, public servants in Nashville, it’s my God-given right if I want to buy something to potentially blow somebody else away, but heaven forbid if I want to buy something in a Super Wal-Mart, or even a “regular” grocery story, that might be used to “blow” myself away for a little while.
This in a state with a super-Republican majority in both the state House and Senate. This in the face of the Republican manta of less government. This in the thrall of hypocrisy about competition being the life blood of a “free market.”
It’s only less government if you buy it.
It’s only less government for you if you can make somebody else pay with a little less choice.
It’s only less government if you are the one defining it as so.
It’s only a box of … GOP politicians.
Yep, less government. Just big enough to fit in your bedroom.
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Filed under Commentary, political humor, politics, satire
Tagged as commentary, GOP, political humor, politicians, rack of lamb, satire, state government, Tennessee, Wednesday