I’m waiting for the Loch Ness Monster to sing the National Anthem at the World Series. Are you?
Category Archives: Republicans
Seven Things You Should Know About the Wackiest “Fiscal Crisis” Yet | News & Notes, What Matters Today | BillMoyers.com
Filed under GOP, Republicans
The Devil’s Dictionary: Conservative and Republican
In our continuing quest to revisit a classic, or even a curiosity from the past and see how relevant it is, we continue with The Devil’s Dictionary by Ambrose Bierce. Originally published in newspaper installments from 1881 until 1906. You might be surprised how current many of the entries are.
For example, here is a definition for the words Conservative and Republican, which have become synonymous. The Old definitions are Bierce’s. The New definition is mine or somebody else contemporary. From time to time, just as it was originally published, we will come back to The Devil’s Dictionary, for a look at it then and how it applies today. Click on Devil’s Dictionary in the tags below to bring up the other entries.
OLD DEFINITION
Conservative, n. A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal, who wishes to replace them with others.
NEW DEFINITION
Conservative, n. I don’t think anything has changed since Bierce first defined conservative as he did, and little can be done to improve on it, other than to say that Conservative and Republican have become so interconnected in U.S. politics as to become two wings of the same buzzard. See Republican(s).
Republicans, n. Republicans are the party that says government doesn’t work, and then they get elected and prove it. –P.J. O’Rourke
In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice that I am not a Republican. –H.L. Mencken
Final thoughts:
So, here we have a political party (Republican) that purports to be the party of Conservative, heterosexual, bedrock social/Christian values, in which in Tennessee, in the county of Knox a commissioner stands (an obviously appropriate word in this case) accused of indecent exposure with another man for lewd behavior; a former Knox County mayor gets a divorce because of an alleged affair — and maybe more than one. (At least he waited until toward the end of his time in office to get divorced.); a current Knox County mayor is getting a divorce (at the start of his administration and only four years after saying “I do.”); a Tennessee state representative and a former police officer gets arrested for driving drunk in Nashville, TN, with a loaded gun in his front seat; another Tennessee state representative carves her initials in her publicly owned seat in the state capital, dresses down a Tennessee Highway Patrol Officer for a ticket she got for speeding, and has “interesting” photos of herself on the Internet; a Tennessee state senator uses bogus science and bullying logic to advance a biased personal agenda, and when challenged claims he’s being discriminated against; a national presidential candidate has more affairs than another national presidential candidate has had wives (and that takes a little doing); and that same multi-wife presidential candidate’s current wife has a debt at Tiffany’s over 5 times (and maybe even 10 times) larger than the yearly average American family household income. So with all this moral rectitude and personal frugalness coming from the political party (Republican) claiming to defend Conservative, heterosexual, bedrock social/Christian values, what I want to know is this: When did Peyton Place become a family value?
Filed under Ambrose Bierce, Conservative, Devil's Dictionary, Republicans, satire
The Devil’s Dictionary: Big hats and Cause and Effect and Education
Every now and then, it is good to revisit a classic, or even a curiosity from the past. The Devil’s Dictionary by Ambrose Bierce was originally published in newspaper installments from 1881 until 1906. You might be surprised how current many of the entries are.
For example, here is a definition for the word miscreant The Old definition is Bierce’s. The New definition or comment are mine. From time to time, just as it was originally published, we will come back to The Devil’s Dictionary, for a look at it then and how it applies today. Click on Devil’s Dictionary in the tags below to bring up the other entries.
OLD DEFINITION:
Effect, n. The second of two phenomena which always occur together in the same order. The first, called a Cause, is said to generate the other — which is no more sensible than it would be for one who has never seen a dog except in pursuit of a rabbit to declare the rabbit the cause of the dog.
NEW DEFINITION:
Post hoc, ergo propter hoc
After it, therefore because of it. The link above takes you to a video highlighting the same thing as discussed in in the Old Definition, showing that things have not changed all that much.
Conclusion: some things never change. Maybe due to a lack of education.
OLD DEFINITION:
Education, n. That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
NEW DEFINITION:
Education, n. That which the foolish, most conservative and mostly Republican, believe is wise to wreck on behalf of faith is something unseen, basically fear and prejudice. See the Tennessee State Legislatures attempt to recreate “Monkey Laws.”

Post hoc ergo propter hoc: "I'm a Republican state legislator and I can stand in the way of education, therefore, I am better than education."
http://www.knoxnews.com/news/2012/mar/19/anti-evolution-class-discussions-get-senates-ok/
Anti-evolution class discussions get Senate’s OK
By Tom Humphrey
Monday, March 19, 2012
NASHVILLE — The Senate approved a bill Monday evening that deals with teaching of evolution and other scientific theories while the House approved legislation authorizing cities and counties to display the Ten Commandments in public buildings.
The Senate voted 24-8 for HB368, which sponsor Sen. Bo Watson, R-Hixson, says will provide guidelines for teachers answering students’ questions about evolution, global warming and other scientific subjects. Critics call it a “monkey bill” that promotes creationism in classrooms.
The bill was approved in the House last year but now must return to that body for concurrence on a Senate amendment that made generally minor changes. One says the law applies to scientific theories that are the subject of “debate and disputation” — a phrase replacing the word “controversial” in the House version.
The measure also guarantees that teachers will not be subject to discipline for engaging students in discussion of questions they raise, though Watson said the idea is to provide guidelines so that teachers will bring the discussion back to the subjects authorized for teaching in the curriculum approved by the state Board of Education.
All eight no votes came from Democrats, some of whom raised questions about the bill during brief debate.
Sen. Tim Barnes, D-Clarksville, said he was concerned that the measure was put forward “not for scientific reasons but for political reasons.” And Sen. Andy Berke, D-Chattanooga, said teachers were doing just fine teaching science without the Legislature’s involvement.
“We are simply dredging up the problems of the past with this bill and that will affect our teachers in the future,” Berke said.
Watson said the purpose of the legislation is to encourage teachers in helping their students learn to challenge and debate ideas to “improve their thinking skills.”
Critics of the HB368 labeling the measure “monkey bill” ranged from the American Civil Liberties Union to the National Center for Science Education. In a statement sent to legislators, the eight Tennesseans who are members of the National Academy of Science said that, in practice, the bill will likely lead to “scientifically unwarranted criticisms of evolution.”
“By undermining the teaching of evolution in Tennessee’s public schools, HB368 and SB893 would miseducate students, harm the state’s national reputation, and weaken its efforts to compete in a science-driven global economy,” said the statement signed by Stanley Cohen, who won the Nobel Prize in physiology of medicine in 1986, and seven other scientists.
The bill authorizing display of the Ten Commandments in public buildings — HB2658 — is sponsored by Rep. Matthew Hill, R-Jonesborough, who said it is in line with court rulings. In essence, courts have often declared displays of the biblical commandments unconstitutional standing along, but permissible as part of a display of “historic documents.”
The bill authorizes all local governments to display “historic documents” and specifically lists the commandments as being included.
Hill said the bill will prevent city and county governments from “being intimidated any further by special interest groups” opposed to displaying of the Ten Commandments. It passed 93-9 and now goes to the Senate.
****
Commentary: Republicans DO NOT want smaller government. They simply want THEIR form of Big (Brother) Government. One where they govern your thoughts and morality. Your gun may be loaded, but your brain will be full of blanks.
Filed under Ambrose Bierce, Blank, Cartoon, cause, Devil's Dictionary, educated, education, effect, GOP, Republicans, Uncategorized
A modest proposal
First, the news:
Gov. Bill Haslam, Beth Harwell hesitant on drug-testing proposal
http://www.knoxnews.com/news/2011/dec/27/gov-bill-haslam-beth-harwell-hesitant-drug-testing/
Tennessee legislature Senate Speaker Ron Ramsey says he expects lawmakers will pass a bill requiring drug tests for Tennesseans who get government assistance or workers’ compensation.
Other high-ranking Republicans aren’t so confident.
Ramsey recently told the Nashville Chamber of Commerce that a similar proposal last legislative session carried a $12 million price tag but didn’t take into account the savings from cutting off benefits to drug users.
House Speaker Beth Harwell says that while she agrees with the aim of the drug-testing proposal, the state’s top priority is balancing its budget.
Gov. Bill Haslam has raised questions about whether the federal government’s rules for the benefits programs give the state enough flexibility to start drug-testing recipients.
Now, a bit of older news:
Would you trust this man?
Would you trust this man with a handgun?
Would you trust him if you knew he was an ex-Memphis police officer?
Would you trust him if you knew he was an ex-police officer with a .38-caliber handgun tucked between the driver’s seat and console of his SUV?
Would you trust him if you knew he refused to take a Breathalyzer test, after being stopped by Nashville police officers for driving 60 miles per hour in a 40 mph zone and weaving across the double yellow lines on a street near Vanderbilt University?
Would you trust him if you knew he was Tennessee state Representative, Republican from Collierville?
Would you trust him if you knew he was the House sponsor of the bill (later mad law) allowing handguns in bars?
If so, Curry Todd, the man in photo, is the person you would trust.
Your tax dollars at work.
It will be interesting see how the state Republicans protect one of their own who to the serve part of the motto “to Protect and Serve” to mean how many drinks he could serve himself and still drive.
Sources:
www.knoxnews.com/news/2011/oct/12/lawmaker-arrested-on-drunken-driving-gun-charges/
www.knoxnews.com/news/2011/oct/12/sponsor-of-tennessee-guns-in-bars-bill-charged/
Modest proposal
Given the existence of a possible drug problem within the Tennessee State legislature and since public officials are receiving public assistance, too, I propose that if they pass this law that the legislature have the moral rectitude to include themselves in the testing as well. And that any representative, senator, or governor that turns up with a positive drug test, including excessive use of alcohol, be automatically kicked out of office and that all pay and benefits end immediately. Furthermore, any state politician who has retired from office and is receiving any money or benefits from the state of Tennessee should also be subjected to this testing, with the same consequences. Furthermore, any positive results should be turned over to the proper authorities for potential criminal prosecution.
What do you think the chances of that are?
Filed under GOP, government, political humor, politicians, politics, Republicans, satire, state government
Brother, can you spare a controversy?
“Change is one thing, progress is another. ‘Change’ is scientific, ‘progress’ is ethical; change is indubitable, whereas progress is a matter of controversy.” ~ Bertrand Russell
If still alive, I wonder what Bertrand Russell would make of Rick Perry and a host of others, mostly conservative Republicans, who find climate change dubitable indeed. Then again, Perry and company don’t have much truck with science. Progress as they define it is not a matter of controversy. Change, however, is. And if they have to change the way they think or act or the truck they drive, well, that’s the most controversial of all.
Check out the new ban at your local library
Expressing concern over the rising number of non-reports, County of K Mayor TB recently issued an executive order banning all sex offenders from public libraries.
Plans are underway to compare a list of registered sex offenders to the libraries 150,000 active cardholders, who would then be notified to stay away from the libraries. When asked about those offenders who don’t have library cards, or who may be homeless and can’t get a card because they don’t have an address, the mayor had no immediate response.
“I just don’t want them anywhere around our kids,” TB said. “The ultimate decision is how we pursue it.”
When asked where these offenders could go, TB said the local bookstores. They already handle banned books. Why not banned people, too?
A manager at a local bookstore, who asked not to be identified, responded that this was “another example of an unfunded government mandate.”
A library worker, when asked how she would identify a sex offended, said she didn’t know how she would identify a sex offender. “It’s not like they come up and self-identify.”
Under a new state law sex offenders can be banned from libraries and such identification could lead to jail time, which would simply lead to more overcrowding, which the County of K already has a problem with. Still, the County of K Mayor felt he needed to get out in front of this issue and issued the first such executive order for any of the major library systems of the state. As a Republican, you can never have enough moral government, he was heard to say. And it usually doesn’t cost much.
County of K sheriff of nodding ham, J Triple said, “I applaud the state of Tennessee for putting tougher regulations on these dirt bags who prey on our children.”
When asked about enforcement, J Triple said with cooler weather coming on, he plans to provide free sweaters to those sex offenders, many of whom may be homeless. The sweaters would have the scarlet letters “D-B” stitched into them in a way that his deputies, using infra-red night scopes on their rifles, will be able to easily see on the chests of the offenders. All the deputy will have to do, Triple J said, is point his rifle at the library entrance and he (or she) will spot the registered sex offender. An arrest would then ensue.
When asked what happens once the sweaters start getting swapped, worn by the wrong person, or even show up on Salvation Army Thrift Store shelves, Triple J grunted that he would let the courts sort that out. Innocent dirt bags were not his concern.
In a somewhat related issue, on the same day as Mayor TB announced his ban, County of K Commissioner AE (Always Embroiled in controversy to her close friends), announced that she had a benign tumor removed from her parathyroid gland. Though the symptoms of the tumor were fatigue, pain, fluctuating blood pressure, and insomnia – not untypical symptoms for any County of K Commissioner these days, she was glad the cause of her distress had been found and treated. Recovery time could take two or three months. When asked about the recent ban of sex offenders from libraries, AE reportedly muttered, she could only hope there was a similar tumor at the top of country government.
Filed under absurdity, announcement, books, fun, GOP, government, humor, hypocracy, law enforcement, offenders, Republicans, satire, sex, words, writing
From the Government Department of Hypocracy Department
NASHVILLE, TN — In March 2011, the Tennessee state legislature passed the “Health Care Freedom Act,” in essence saying Tennesseans didn’t have to follow the federal health care bill passed the previous year. In short, they were saying our state can be different than other states.
In May 2011, this same legislature passed HB600, the state Senate, by a vote of 18-8 in favor of the bill and the the House by a vote of 73-24 the previous week. It now goes to the governor, Bill Haslam, last who has said he supports the measure.
What is HB600? A state bill overturn a legally passed Nashville/Davidson County Metro Government ordinance that said companies contracting with the metro government cannot practice discrimination against employees based on sexual orientation.
Those in state government who voted for the bill overturning the ordinance said things like: “When it comes to anti-discrimination practices, we need to have consistent rules across the state,” said Sen. Jack Johnson, R-Franklin.
But the state shouldn’t have to practice consistent rules with the federal government?
And I thought Republicans were supposed to be the party of less government intrusion. I guess when you’re in power, it’s okay to pick your intrusions.
I believe it was Abraham Lincoln, a Republican, who said, “Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, give him power.”
With strong Republican majorities in both chambers of the legislature and with a Republican governor, I guess we’re seeing the true character of the state Republicans, and it looks remarkably hypocritical.
Links:
News Sentinel
Filed under absurdity, government, hypocracy, Nashville, politicians, politics, Republicans, state
