“One of the greatest pleasures in writing has come from the thought that perhaps my work might annoy someone of comfortably pretentious position. Then comes the saddening realization that such people rarely read.” —John Kenneth Galbraith
Click on John Kenneth Galbraith to learn a little more about him.
From the world of the absurd to your door.
With so many deserving authors out there, why this?
Bristol Palin Memoir Set To Hit Shelves This Summer
(I think hit is the appropriate word here. Or maybe Flog the Shelves this Summer would be better.)
Bristol Palin, daughter of former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin, will soon be able to add “author” to her resume with the release of an as-yet-untitled memoir set to hit bookshelves this summer.
As noted by Political Wire, an Amazon listing for an “Untitled Bristol Palin Memoir” — in hardcover no less — has been created, announcing that the 304-page book will be available for a little over $17.
PopEater reported late last year that the 20-year-old mother was exploring a variety of options to cash in on the visibility provided by her successful, but not victorious, run on ABC’s hit show, “Dancing With the Stars.” Apart from the book deal and speaking engagements — which no longer include a panel at Washington University’s “Sex Week” — a source also told PopEater that future jobs might include a role on another reality-TV show and as a spokeswoman for a fashion line.
According to the Amazon page, the book bill be published by William Morrow & Co for release on June 21.
www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/02/07/bristol-palin-memoir-untitled_n_819850.html?
I went to the store the other day,
and it wasn’t in a place very far away.
While going through the checkout line
the bagger asked me if I’d mind
spending a dollar to support a charity.
I said yes, how fine that would be.
He then asked for my name
Saying he’d put it in the window for a little fame.
I said I didn’t need the notoriety.
He said that just could not be,
and he would write “lowel customer.”
Though his accent was a bit tough to be sure,
I said “Loyal Customer” was fine with me.
He then wrote it on the window slip for all to see.
Lowel Customer now hangs on the glass
with all the other names that you pass.
But if Lowel Customer you happen to see,
give him a pleasant hello from me.
Filed under humor, poem, poetry, Random Access Thoughts, story poem, true story, words, writing
The blathering idiot sat in the diner trying to figure out the organization of the company that had hired him and where he fit into things. He had the organizational chart “Org chart” of the company and the menu of the diner out on his table. He also had a glass of water that he had already spilled once and was still wiping up when the waitress approached.
She asked the blathering idiot what he wanted for breakfast.
“Org Over Easy,” the blathering idiot said.
She stared over the top of her glasses at him and canted her hip slightly. “Sir, that’s not on the menu.”
“Yes, it is. Over Easy or Sunny Side Up.”
“Org?”
“Yeah.”
She sighed. “That won’t be available until 8 o’clock.”
The Org Over Easy
“Eight o’clock. That’s outlandish.”
“And they’ll be a Sir charge.”
“A surcharge?!” The blathering idiot felt the heat rising to his ears. That always happened when he got embarrassed or angry. He felt a little of both now.
“Yes, sir, a charge on top of our normal Over Easy price.”
“Why?”
“Because orgs are always hard to get over easy.”
Filed under blathering idiot, Cartoon, humor, Random Access Thoughts, satire, words, writing
There were things the blathering idiot understood and there were things he didn’t. Sometimes, he tried to understand the things he didn’t. One day, he tried to understand why man was here. What was human kinds purpose on this earth? Were we here to glorify a god or gods? Were we here to glorify gold? Were we here to learn all we could learn and then leave it behind when we die? Were we here to love and laugh, or suffer and cry?
"And you know something else. I not only don't know why we're here, I'm sure I don't want to know."
The blathering idiot tried and tried to tease an answer out of the question. Finally, after having written for an hour on bar napkins and then thrown away all the answers he’d come up with, he picked up his root beer, took a swig, and proclaimed to the bartender while tapping on the bar, “And you know something else. I not only don’t know why we’re here, I’m sure I don’t want to know.”
He wasn’t sure, but the blathering idiot thought the bartender was happy with that answer.
Filed under blathering idiot, Cartoon, humor, Random Access Thoughts, satire, words, writing
Filed under agents, editor, humor, novel, Perils of writing, pitches, publishers, Random Access Thoughts, words, writing, writing tip
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/01/07/books/07huck.html?_r=1&nl=books&emc=booksupdateemb5
January 6, 2011
Light Out, Huck, They Still Want to Sivilize You
By MICHIKO KAKUTANI
“All modern American literature,” Ernest Hemingway once wrote, “comes from one book by MarkTwain called ‘Huckleberry Finn.’ ”
Being an iconic classic, however, hasn’t protected “Adventures of Huckleberry Finn” from being banned, bowdlerized and bleeped. It hasn’t protected the novel from being cleaned up, updated and “improved.”
A new effort to sanitize “Huckleberry Finn” comes from Alan Gribben, a professor of English at Auburn University, at Montgomery, Ala., who has produced a new edition of Twain’s novel that replaces the word “nigger” with “slave.” Nigger, which appears in the book more than 200 times, was a common racial epithet in the antebellum South, used by Twain as part of his characters’ vernacular speech and as a reflection of mid-19th-century social attitudes along the Mississippi River.
Filed under Huckleberry Finn, insanity, Mark Twain, Perils of writing, publishers, Random Access Thoughts, story, words, writing
For Christmas, the blathering idiot received a BBQ mitt and a cooking apron. Across the front of the apron, above three embroidered stars was the phrase, also embroidered and in all capital letters: ALL AMERICAN CHEF.
The blathering idiot was happy to receive such a gift. He prided himself on his outdoor grilling skills, and after all an All American Chef should have all-American tools to help him create his all-American dishes. He tried on the mitt: it fit great with plenty of room. The apron was adjustable and the red color pleasantly suited him.
Though the weather was a winter cool, he decided to grill out. What better way to show off that he was an ALL AMERICAN CHEF? He pulled out his grill, poured in the charcoal briquettes, and was ready to start the fire.
All American mitt and apron made in China
The blathering idiot didn’t feel so ALL AMERICAN any more.
Filed under All American, blathering idiot, Christmas, Holidays, humor, Random Access Thoughts, words, writing
We have reached a level of entertainment on par with the Roman Coliseum. We have senseless wars abroad, senseless politics at home, and senseless entertainment all around.
Submitted for your consideration, this promo for a local sporting event:
“Come out and cheer on your Knoxville Ice Bears on Guaranteed Fight Night. We guarantee all the fans in attendance there will be a fight whether it occurs during one of the three periods or during the intermissions. Bring yourself, your friends and your family to come find out what we have planned for you.”
Yes, bring your family, if for no other reason than to see a fight at a hockey game. Reminds me of that joke, I went to a fight and a hockey game broke out.
What’s next, a merger with Rasslin’ and possibly the Icecapades or some other ice show. Will we see Snow White duking it out with Little Red Riding Hood? Goofy and Pluto illegally checking each other? Rasslin’ with the Stars on Ice? (Well, that might actually have some socially redeeming value.) All of it family fun. And all for one, low admission price. Please pay these prices and pay no more.
Filed under Random Access Thoughts, Uncategorized
The blathering idiot attended a seminar where the presenter, a microphone clipped over his ear and an overabundance of enthusiasm clipped onto his voice, told the audience that the key to success in work, in financial success, in love, in all of life was to give not 50 percent, not 75, not even 100, but “110 percent.”
After the all-day workshop, the blathering idiot returned home to find a pile of bills waiting for him. He opened them and totaled how much he owed for the minimum monthly payments, and it was 130 percent of what he earned. He smiled, closed his eyes, and waited for success to come.
Filed under blathering idiot, humor, observation, Random Access Thoughts, word play, words, writing
Booker's Blog 