Category Archives: politicians

Imagine, if you will…

Imagine, if you will…

Imagine, if you will,

A people so shrill,

They scream for their rights,

But are ready to kill.

Responsibility — not theirs

And they have no cares,

Except to fight,

When asked to community share.

To wear a simple mask

Is an onerous task,

And with all their might,

Many refused to get vaxxed.

They have their excuses

Or claim it’s all ruses.

It’s all government oversight

Or power abuses.

The hospitals are clogged,

And the cases are logged,

“Unvaccinated flight”

Leaves healthcare workers agog.

Now children are dying,

But GOP politicians are crying.

They say their dead right

To stop even trying.

Go get some invermectin,

Or your grandma’s canning pectin.

Take it tonight to fight

Left-wing insurrection.

It will rid you of parasites

And any sense of the real right,

Like civil responsibility,

To all lives: one and many.

090721

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Filed under 2021, photo, poetry, Poetry by David E. Booker, political humor, politicians

The heist of some lifetime

Dear Congress,

I want my hour back.
The one you stole from me
To take up all the slack
Of saving energy.

A supercilious stance
Of the previous administration
Is giving me morning headaches
And hours of constipation.

Spring has not yet sprung
But an “extra” hour blooms
We’re supposed to use less fossil fuels
But you were a fool to assume.

You now fight over light bulbs
Some invoking “my right to chose.”
Yet, when robbing me of one hour,
You said I had nothing to lose.

There is no proof this hour
Is saving the country power.
I get up in the night, turn on several lights
As I make my way to the shower.

I use more electricity
As I start each day of work
All because you fell asleep
And forgot to think. What jerks.

You pander to the lobbyist
And engage in high mediocrity.
All the time wasting hours
On political pomposity.

By making daylight longer.
As I’m driving more for less
On gas I’ve forced to squander
While you show little or no regrets.

I’m losing sleep because I cannot be
Awake while the sun still shines
But with a jerk, the hour to start work
Finds me ever more behind.

I want my hour back.
The one you stole from me
And do not counterattack
With your light bulb skullduggery.

Even though my eyes are bleary
And my outlook a bit less cheery
I can still see quite clearly
And let you know sincerely:

I want my hour back.
The one you stole from me
To take up all the slack
Of saving energy.

They stole an hour from me

The heist of some lifetime

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Filed under Cartoon, heist, humor, poem, poetry, political humor, politicians, satire, story poem, theater of the absurd

Concern

Candidate said:
“I’m not concerned about the
very poor.” Jesus wept.

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Filed under haiku, poem, poetry, politicians, politics, poor

Quote of the Day

This just in from a church-going Southern Baptist who sends his son to a private Christian school: “I don’t care what he did in his personal life, I want Newt Gingrich to lead our country.”

It appears Newt’s having converted from Southern Baptist to Roman Catholicism doesn’t disturb some Southern Baptists like Roman Catholicism used to disturb them. I guess we can see that as a sign of improvement. John Kennedy would be proud.

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Filed under GOP, politicians, politics, religion, satire

The Devil’s Dictionary: Patriot and Patriotism

Every now and then, it is good to revisit a classic, or even a curiosity from the past. The Devil’s Dictionary by Ambrose Bierce was originally published in newspaper installments from 1881 until 1906. You might be surprised how current many of the entries are.

For example, in this political campaign year, here is a definition for the words Patriot and Patriotism. The Old definitions are Bierce’s. The New definition is mine. From time to time, just as it was originally published, we will come back to The Devil’s Dictionary, for a look at it then and how it applies today. Click on Devil’s Dictionary in the tags below to bring up the other entries.

Patriot, n. One to whom the interests of a part seem superior to those of the whole. The dupe of statesmen and the tool of conquerors.

Patriotism, n. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.

In Dr. Johnson’s famous dictionary, patriotism is defined as the last resort of a scoundrel. With all due respect to an enlightened but inferior lexicographer, I beg to submit that is it the first.

Updated definition: has anything changed since these definitions were first published? I think you could add to Patriot: The dupe of statesmen, the tool of conquerors, and the straw man of politicians. Anyone who does not agree with a politician’s stance for saving America is not a patriot (or even worse, a liberal).

It should also go without saying that scoundrel is a synonym for politician, and patriotism is often the first refuge of the politician, particularly when he (or she) doesn’t want to discuss something embarrassing or damaging, such as facts.

One also need remember this that an “-ism” as in patriotism is short for Ideology Stuck (in the) Mind. It has ceased to be a living idea and has become a petrified facsimile (or petrifac) of the real thing.

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Filed under Ambrose Bierce, Devil's Dictionary, humor, patriot, patriotism, politicians, politics, satire, scoundrel

Just a thought

Too many politicians, in an attempt to catch fire in the voters’ imagination, do nothing but stoke the fires of the voters’ fears. –from the blog editor

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Filed under politicians, politics, Random Access Thoughts, Random thought

If they’re running for office…

Eight year old Philosopher

Running and yelling don't make sense.

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Filed under Cartoon, child, eight year old philosopher, humor, politicians, politics

The Devil’s Dictionary: Politics, Politicians, and PACs

Every now and then, it is good to revisit a classic, or even a curiosity from the past. The Devil’s Dictionary by Ambrose Bierce was originally published in newspaper installments from 1881 until 1906. You might be surprised how current many of the entries are.

For example, here is a definition for the words politics and politician. The Old definitions are Bierce’s. The New definition is mine. From time to time, just as it was originally published, we will come back to The Devil’s Dictionary, for a look at it then and how it applies today. Click on Devil’s Dictionary in the tags below to bring up the other entries.

Old definition
Politics, n. A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.

Politician, n. An eel in the fundamental mud upon which the superstructure of organized society is reared. When he wriggles, he mistakes the agitation of his tail for the trembling of the edifice. As compared with the statesman, he suffers the disadvantage of being alive.

New definition
There is no need to update these old definitions. But to them, one could add (since they did not exist in Bierce’s time) these two words:

PAC, n. a gathering of money and people, like wolves, in pursuit of political prey to tear apart in the conduct of public affairs for private advantage. Unlike wolves, they don’t have to carry any sort of coloration to identify themselves. They have no natural enemies to keep them in check.

Super-PAC, n. an even larger gathering of a PAC. Bent on complete destruction in the name of conducting public affairs for private advantage. They have no natural enemies to keep them in check. One can only hope for a sufficiently large enough political meteor to crash into politics and kill them.

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Filed under Ambrose Bierce, Devil's Dictionary, political humor, politicians, politics, rocket scientist

A modest proposal

First, the news:

Gov. Bill Haslam, Beth Harwell hesitant on drug-testing proposal

http://www.knoxnews.com/news/2011/dec/27/gov-bill-haslam-beth-harwell-hesitant-drug-testing/

Tennessee legislature Senate Speaker Ron Ramsey says he expects lawmakers will pass a bill requiring drug tests for Tennesseans who get government assistance or workers’ compensation.

Other high-ranking Republicans aren’t so confident.

Ramsey recently told the Nashville Chamber of Commerce that a similar proposal last legislative session carried a $12 million price tag but didn’t take into account the savings from cutting off benefits to drug users.

House Speaker Beth Harwell says that while she agrees with the aim of the drug-testing proposal, the state’s top priority is balancing its budget.

Gov. Bill Haslam has raised questions about whether the federal government’s rules for the benefits programs give the state enough flexibility to start drug-testing recipients.

Now, a bit of older news:

Would you trust this man?

Tennessee state representative mug shot

Would you trust this man?

Would you trust this man with a handgun?

Would you trust him if you knew he was an ex-Memphis police officer?

Would you trust him if you knew he was an ex-police officer with a .38-caliber handgun tucked between the driver’s seat and console of his SUV?

Would you trust him if you knew he refused to take a Breathalyzer test, after being stopped by Nashville police officers for driving 60 miles per hour in a 40 mph zone and weaving across the double yellow lines on a street near Vanderbilt University?

Would you trust him if you knew he was Tennessee state Representative, Republican from Collierville?

Would you trust him if you knew he was the House sponsor of the bill (later mad law) allowing handguns in bars?

If so, Curry Todd, the man in photo, is the person you would trust.

Your tax dollars at work.

It will be interesting see how the state Republicans protect one of their own who to the serve part of the motto “to Protect and Serve” to mean how many drinks he could serve himself and still drive.

Sources:
www.knoxnews.com/news/2011/oct/12/lawmaker-arrested-on-drunken-driving-gun-charges/

www.knoxnews.com/news/2011/oct/12/sponsor-of-tennessee-guns-in-bars-bill-charged/

Modest proposal

Given the existence of a possible drug problem within the Tennessee State legislature and since public officials are receiving public assistance, too, I propose that if they pass this law that the legislature have the moral rectitude to include themselves in the testing as well. And that any representative, senator, or governor that turns up with a positive drug test, including excessive use of alcohol, be automatically kicked out of office and that all pay and benefits end immediately. Furthermore, any state politician who has retired from office and is receiving any money or benefits from the state of Tennessee should also be subjected to this testing, with the same consequences. Furthermore, any positive results should be turned over to the proper authorities for potential criminal prosecution.

What do you think the chances of that are?

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Filed under GOP, government, political humor, politicians, politics, Republicans, satire, state government

Brother, can you spare a controversy?

“Change is one thing, progress is another. ‘Change’ is scientific, ‘progress’ is ethical; change is indubitable, whereas progress is a matter of controversy.” ~ Bertrand Russell

If still alive, I wonder what Bertrand Russell would make of Rick Perry and a host of others, mostly conservative Republicans, who find climate change dubitable indeed. Then again, Perry and company don’t have much truck with science. Progress as they define it is not a matter of controversy. Change, however, is. And if they have to change the way they think or act or the truck they drive, well, that’s the most controversial of all.

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Filed under Bertrand Russell, change, controversy, GOP, Philosopher, politicians, progress, Quote of the day, Random Access Thoughts, Random thought, Republicans, responsibility