There once was a man from Bengal
who met a woman through a business phone call.
They arranged to meet;
she was soon sitting on his seat
because his chairs had been part of her recall.
Category Archives: Monday morning writing joke
Monday (morning) writing joke: Limerick: “Seat adjustment”
Monday morning writing joke: dead end
Sometimes the photocopied note is a dead give away.
As a writer, I don’t get no respect. Just the other day I received a note from a publishing company on my submission. It read: “As a mystery novel, it’s just run-of-the-morgue.”
Shows you how much they read. There’s no morgue in my novel.
Monday (morning) writing joke: hair of the dog
Writing tip: keeping tabs on your favorite writer can be surprising.
I’m a writer and I don’t get no respect. I went into a bar that caters to well-known writers.
I told the bar tender, “Give me what your best writer has most often in here.”
She promptly handed me the tab.
Monday morning writing joke: Let me preface this
Let me just preface my remarks by saying I shouldn’t have prefaced my remarks.
My critique group can be rather direct. I turned in the first part of the novel, including the preface. One member said he doesn’t read prefaces or preludes or prologues of any kind.
Another one wrote this on in the margin of her critique: “Your preface states that the characters bear no resemblance to any person living or dead. That’s precisely what’s wrong with this story.”
I guess an epilogue is out of the question.
Monday morning (evening) writing joke: the long and short of it
Giving short (story) shrift to a novel idea.
The other day I overheard two people in my writing workshop group talking about my work. One person said she wasn’t sure why, but she would prefer to read something else.
The other person said, “He’s putting everything he knows into his novel. It’s sure to be a short story.”
“And I probably still won’t like it,” the first person said.
Monday morning writing joke: bird’s eye view
A bird’s eye view of literature.
I’m a writer and I don’t get no respect. Just the other day my mother-in-law came to visit. She asked for one of my stories and I gave her the latest one I had written. The next day I had to go and visit her. I asked her how she liked the story. She said it wasn’t long enough.
“Long enough?” I asked.
“Yeah,” she said. “There weren’t enough pages to line the bottom of my parrot’s cage. He’s not happy.”
Monday morning writing joke: “That’s a wrap”
A Brit, American, Korean, Frenchman, Australian, German, Israeli, Saudi, Malaysian, Columbian, and Japanese walk into an elegant bar for a drink.
“Sorry,” says the bartender. “I can’t serve you without a Thai.”
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Monday morning writing joke: Hot spot
Not exactly the hot spot I had in mind.
I’m a writer and I don’t get no respect. Just the other day my mother came over for a visit. She’s a religious woman of sorts. She said she had something that she thought would help me write. She asked if she could hang it in my office. I thought maybe it was a poster with some writing quotes on it. I said okay. She hung it and then left.
When I entered the office, I found the item. It was a plaque. It read: “You are cordially invited to the theological place of eternal punishment.”
Below that she had placed a sticky note that read: “Love, Mom.”
Filed under cartoon by author, Monday morning writing joke, no respect
Monday morning writing joke: I’m a writer and I don’t get no respect
Nothing in the vows says to have and to hold until imagination does you part.
My wife told me I had to stop writing. She said I was having more fun with my imaginary friends than I was with her. I said, So? Big mistake. Big mistake. I forgot what a wallup a real person packs. My oral surgeon said one or two more surgeries and I’ll be almost as good as new. I’ll only have to take the dentures out once a day.
Monday morning writing joke: Re-view
Have you heard about the two literary agents who saw one of their writers on the other side of the street?
One of them said, “There’s the b@$t@^d who gets 75% of our earnings.”
[Comment: Sometimes life’s a matter of how you view things.]
Filed under Monday morning writing joke
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