Q. What are a lazy writer’s favorite type of shoes?
A. Loafers.
—
Q. What are a poor, lazy writer’s type of shoes?
A. Penny loafers.
—
Q. Where do struggling writers get their feet coverings?
A. On the sock exchange.
Category Archives: Monday morning writing joke
Monday morning writing joke: “Zombie three”
Zombie Neighborhood Watch sign: “Take a bite out of crime. Eat the perpetrator.”
—
Q. What sort of work does a zombie like?
A. Piecemeal.
—
Q. What do you call the headmaster at a zombie school?
A. The headmaster.
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Filed under 2015, Monday morning writing joke
Monday morning writing joke: “Boo to you, too”
There once was a writer of fright /
who could make her readers stay up all night./
With a stroke and boo, /
boy, she could do it to you, too. /
Oh, for such chills and delights!
Filed under 2015, Monday morning writing joke, poetry by author
Monday morning writing joke: “Dented erudition”
There once was a man of erudition /
who took to writing science fiction. /
His thoughts were transcendent, /
his paragraphs perfectly indented, /
but still something got lost in transmission.
Filed under 2015, Monday morning writing joke
Monday morning writing joke: “Play time”
There once was a writer of erotica /
whose own life was not a like a lot of ya. /
She would write it all day /
but come time to go play /
she couldn’t quite “bare” the thought of ya.
Filed under 2015, Monday morning writing joke
Monday morning writing joke: “Face down”
There once was a writer from town /
who met every blank sheet with a frown. /
That it is why it is said /
he never went to bed /
and slept on his couch face down.
Filed under 2015, Monday morning writing joke, poetry by author
Monday morning writing joke: “Big stink”
There once was a writer from Spokane /
who did his best output in the can. /
Flushed with success, /
he created such a mess /
and ruined his one and only fan.
[Editor’s note: writing joke in the form of a limerick. It might not be the last one as April is Poetry Month. You have been warned.]
Filed under 2015, Monday morning writing joke, poetry by author
Monday morning writing joke: “Tears”
A songwriter sitting at a bar tried explaining to the woman next to him why he’d given up dating.
“Did both sisters know you were dating the other one?” the woman asked.
The songwriter nodded. “At first, they both said: ‘cool, date all.'”
“Then?”
“Then it wasn’t. So I said I was leaving. Tina cried when I left, and so did her sister, Marge. I told them, ‘Don’t cry for me, Marge and Tina.'”
The woman poured her drink on the songwriter and she left.
Filed under 2015, Monday morning writing joke
Monday morning writing joke: “Signage”
Before she became a novelist, Mary Shelley wanted to open a bar and restaurant in Berlin, but she didn’t have much money for a sign, and she was told the sign could not be very big.
Calling it
Bratwurst
and
Beer
was too many letters and did not look right, especially with one word longer than the other.
After much contemplation and taking the letters apart and putting them back together with some other letters, she came up with words the fit the sign size and her budget:
Frank
-N-
Stein.
Filed under 2015, Monday morning writing joke
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