Category Archives: Monday morning writing humor

Monday morning writing joke: “The Fog is Afoot”

The Fog is Afoot

The fog is afoot.

The door is ajar.

The jam is on the highway.

The toast is in the bar.

The world is elemental

Or maybe it’s just gone nuts.

I would lie next to you

But truth be we’d be abut.

You can be in arrears,

But you won’t have more than one.

Things aren’t as they appear,

But a pear ripens in the sun.

I can pucker my lips

If you want to buss,

Or I can look very foolish

As you mount the bus.

You can mount a stead

Or even a campaign

At the end of the day

The results may amount to pain.

There is no anear,

But the stars are afar.

We can be in accord,

But not in a musical bar.

The measure of a man

Maybe of little note.

But notes in a measure

Keep the song afloat.

So is a song a boat

Afloat on a river?

Oar are we lost at sea

Our arrows and us aquiver?

Love is a mystery,

The deepest some have said.

I don’t know, though

It may all soon come to ahead.

You could be apart

Or a part of loving pair

Love is a strange feeling

That the estranged do not share.

So, is the fog afoot?

Is the door ajar?

Is love as near

As a falling star?

If you’re in a jam,

Can you be in a preserve,

Or is that only something

fruit and animals deserve?

Lovers have forever asked

And Philosophers have refrained,

If to be in love is love.

Is to be insane sane?

.

.

#021323 #poem #poetry #rhymes #rhymingpoetry #puns #afoot #ajar #fog #language #photo #oldnorthknoxville #love #davidebooker #february #monday #021323 #2023

Leave a comment

Filed under 2023, Monday morning writing humor, Monday morning writing joke, Old North Knoxville, photo, Photo by author, photo by David E. Booker, poem, poetry, poetry by author, Poetry by David E. Booker

Monday morning writing joke: “Nuts to you”

Leave a comment

March 7, 2022 · 11:35 am

Monday morning writing joke: “Writer named Maxwell”

There once was writer named Maxwell, /

Who wrote only about things factual. /

Imagination, he said, /

Was overrated and dead. /

Then he was eaten by a Pterodactyl.

Leave a comment

Filed under 2021, Monday morning writing humor, poetry, Poetry by David E. Booker, writing humor

Monday morning writing joke: “Have and have not”

Q.: What do Santa Claus and a struggling writer have in common?

A.: Some people believe in them; other people don’t.

1 Comment

Filed under Monday morning writing humor

Monday morning writing joke: “literally”

It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.

1 Comment

Filed under Monday morning writing humor

Monday (morning) writing joke: “War is….”

A young Ambrose Bierce

A young Ambrose Bierce

Ambrose Bierce, author of The Devil’s Dictionary (1842-1913):

“War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.”

Updated corollary: I guess since Americans score poor on world geography, we haven’t had enough of them lately.

Final conclusion: Drones anyone?

Leave a comment

Filed under Monday morning writing humor, Monday morning writing joke

Monday morning writing humor: “Prattle”

Have critics said of your work: “He never gets to his last word.”? This is called Prattlitus or Prattlitous.

Or perhaps it was phrased this way: “His conclusion is longer than his discussion.” This is called Inconclusivity.

Or, when asked to write a summary of your latest novel, has you agent said to another: “His summary is longer than the original.”? And this is called Conclusionaires Disease.

If so, you may be a prime candidate for the Authors School of Pith, or ASP for short.

As ASP you will learn the two routes to pith: No! and Hell no!

We will tone your flabby vowels, strengthen your grammatical ganglia, and brief your brevity so that you can once again find your soul of wit.

So call today for your free 30-day trial. 1-888-ASP-WIPE. Try it, risk free, and see as we teach you the pleasure of the last word, how to conclude with brevity and dignity, and most important of all, we will teach you the value of summary when you see our final bill.

Leave a comment

Filed under Monday morning writing humor, Monday morning writing joke

Monday morning writing humor: “The Captain said”

What the Captain said

The boat is fine, the captain said;
he said it to our face.
The boat is fine, the captain said,
the river sets the pace.

The boat is fine, the captain said,
and then he said no more.
The boat is fine, the captain said
as we sailed away from shore.

The boat is fine, the captain said,
as the river tossed us about.
The boat is fine, the captain said,
as some of us wanted out.

The boat is fine, the captain said,
steering for the roughest part.
The boat is fine, the captain said;
he’d said it from the start.

The boat is fine, the captain said
as the waves thumped into the boat
The boat is fine, the captain said
as some of us tried to float.

The boat is fine, the captain said,
Come back again next year.
The boat is fine, the captain said —
but captain, I hope you’re not here.

The first, fall flush of success.

The first, fall flush of success.

Leave a comment

Filed under Monday morning writing humor, poetry by author

Monday (morning) writing joke: “Dead again,” part 2

In honor of all the zombie movies over the past year, and books about zombies and other dead creatures, here is the second of two or three “dead” jokes, puns, bits of humor. Groan as you see fit.

Q.: What do you call…

…a race between zombies?

A.: A dead run.

…a warm day for zombies?

A.: A dead heat.

…a zombie who ate his girlfriend?

A.: A dead ‘n’ ate her.

…a zombie in an explosion?

A.: Dead bone air.

…somebody killed by a medieval zombie?

A.: Dead of knight.

…a zombie politician too long in office?

A.: A deadencated public servant.

.…a lobbyist?

A.: Dead weight.

…500 zombie lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A.: Habeas corpses.

Leave a comment

Filed under Monday morning writing humor, Monday morning writing joke

Monday (morning) writing joke: “That’s the spirit”

A ghost walks into a bar and asks for a gin and tonic.

“Sorry,” says the bartender. “We don’t serve spirits.”

Leave a comment

Filed under Monday morning writing humor