There once was a woman from Oak Ridge
who used sexual “knottiness” as a bridge.
She’d tie down her sailor;
have him now and have him latter.
And she’d (k)not keep it quiet, (k)not a smidge.
Category Archives: limerick
Limerick: “Knottiness”
Filed under Knottiness, limerick, poem, poetry by author
Workshop weekend two: Saturday limerick: “Canard”
There once was a tree in my yard
that came down in a wind rather hard.
I sawed on it yesterday;
it’s still there today.
It’s tougher than a month old canard.
The hackberry where it split and most of it bowed to the ground to the applause of thunder and wind and rain.
Filed under limerick, poetry by author, Workshop weekend
Limerick: “Yankee Doodle Dandy”
There once was a Yankee Doodle Dandy
who with the girls thought he was quite handy.
So on the Fourth of July
he gave it a flag waving try.
They told him to come back when he had brandy.
Filed under July 4th, limerick, poetry by author
Limerick: “Fireworks”
There once was man who stole fireworks
and truth be told he was quite a jerk.
He went out for a dance
with more than loins in his pants.
Then cigarette ash made him quite berserk.
Filed under Fireworks, limerick, poem, poetry by author
Limerick: “Liberty”
There once was a woman named Liberty
who had a tough time in Puberty.
Her friends said, “Slow down.
You don’t have to go to town.
The men will find you, indubitably.”
[Editor’s note: Yeah, I took a little “liberty” with the notion of Liberty, but maybe you’ll find it fun if not enlightening. Happy July 4th. Be safe.]
Filed under liberty, limerick, poetry by author, political humor
Workshop Weekend: Sunday silliness: limerick
Spent yesterday preparing a short story, a novella, and three poems for writing contests. Deadline for entry was midnight. I had the last of them turned in by 9 PM. Now it is up to the judges, the skill of the writing, some luck, and whether or not I scared off enough other potential entrants. Yes, I am kidding about the last part. I have no idea who else entered. I wanted to enter a non-fiction writing contest, but did not have my entry ready in time. Oh, well, maybe another time.
So, here is a bit of silliness for a Sunday morning (at least morning where I am right now), a limerick inspired by someone who suggested they should be naughty.
There once was a woman from Port Townsend
who traveled quite far and came home again.
Now by day she styles hair
and by night styles with care
words about her “new” life with family and friends.
I know, it’s not naughty. Maybe the next one.
Filed under limerick, poetry by author, Sunday silliness, Workshop weekend
Zuckerberg the limerick
There once was a man named Zuckerberg
for whom listening to people seemed quite absurd.
So he took the word “face”
stuck it out in virtual space
and added “book,” because he was such a nerd.
Filed under limerick, poem, poetry by author
Elephant from Nantucket
Sometimes it’s not the elephant in the middle of the room that’s the problem, it’s what the elephant has in his trunk.
There once was an elephant from Nantucket
whose trunk was so long he could suck it.
With full force it went in,
bending time and again.
Until election day, he’s just stuck with it.
Filed under cartoon by author, limerick, poetry by author, political humor
A pot full
There once was a woman from Knoxville. /
Who couldn’t quite get her pot full /
Of coffee, she’d say, /
“There’s not enough today. /
And that makes my way just awful.”
For Kristina, who inspired this full pot of silliness; and for my daughter, who posed with a coffee pot to give me an idea of how to do this.
Filed under cartoon by author, limerick, poem, poetry
Santa in the bathtub
There now is a man named Santa
who lives somewhere north of Atlanta.
He’s in a tub today;
soon will be coming your way —
so don’t take being good for grant-ah.
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