Sometimes the photocopied note is a dead give away.
As a writer, I don’t get no respect. Just the other day I received a note from a publishing company on my submission. It read: “As a mystery novel, it’s just run-of-the-morgue.”
Shows you how much they read. There’s no morgue in my novel.
Writing tip: keeping tabs on your favorite writer can be surprising.
I’m a writer and I don’t get no respect. I went into a bar that caters to well-known writers.
I told the bar tender, “Give me what your best writer has most often in here.”
She promptly handed me the tab.
Let me just preface my remarks by saying I shouldn’t have prefaced my remarks.
My critique group can be rather direct. I turned in the first part of the novel, including the preface. One member said he doesn’t read prefaces or preludes or prologues of any kind.
Another one wrote this on in the margin of her critique: “Your preface states that the characters bear no resemblance to any person living or dead. That’s precisely what’s wrong with this story.”
I guess an epilogue is out of the question.
Giving short (story) shrift to a novel idea.
The other day I overheard two people in my writing workshop group talking about my work. One person said she wasn’t sure why, but she would prefer to read something else.
The other person said, “He’s putting everything he knows into his novel. It’s sure to be a short story.”
“And I probably still won’t like it,” the first person said.
A bird’s eye view of literature.
I’m a writer and I don’t get no respect. Just the other day my mother-in-law came to visit. She asked for one of my stories and I gave her the latest one I had written. The next day I had to go and visit her. I asked her how she liked the story. She said it wasn’t long enough.
“Long enough?” I asked.
“Yeah,” she said. “There weren’t enough pages to line the bottom of my parrot’s cage. He’s not happy.”
Nothing in the vows says to have and to hold until imagination does you part.
My wife told me I had to stop writing. She said I was having more fun with my imaginary friends than I was with her. I said, So? Big mistake. Big mistake. I forgot what a wallup a real person packs. My oral surgeon said one or two more surgeries and I’ll be almost as good as new. I’ll only have to take the dentures out once a day.
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