Category Archives: humor

“No popcorn, no pets”

No popcorn, no pets

No popcorn, no pets,

No baseball, no regrets,

Rapture to heaven

Is no Seven / Eleven.

No Slushies, no Mars bars,

No pizza, no beer bars.

In heaven, the best

Beat their bloody chests

And sing hosanna

At the absence of fauna.

Nothing to make you sneeze

As you fall to your knees.

Fluffy’s on Earth

About to give birth

And if you want us to care,

Put your money there

On the web site line,

So Fluffy will be fine.

When to heaven you go

But your pets are a no-no,

We will watch them with love

While you’re in heaven above.

We atheists who remain

Or Hindus or Jaynes,

Or Jews or Buddhists

Or even the occasional nudist,

We will take care of your pets

So you’ll have no regrets,

No guilt on your soul,

Because you will know

Your Fuffy is fine

As long as your dimes shine.

070922

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Filed under 2022, humor, poem, poetry, Poetry by David E. Booker, satire, Saturday, Silly Saturday

Monday morning writing joke: “Not-ty not-ty”

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May 16, 2022 · 6:30 am

“Tall tale”

Tall tale

The gravedigger says, /

As his needling wife’s unearthed, /

“It’s all a big yarn.”

.

.

#poem #haiku #davidebooker #poet #writer #writing #may #monday #2019 #pun #wife #gravedigger #humor #unearthed #skeleton #needles #050619

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Filed under 2019, haiku, humor, humor and haiku, photo, poem, poetry, Poetry by David E. Booker

“Oh, Deer Meat”

Oh, Deer Meat

Oh, deer meat, what can I say? /

What won’t offend you if I play? /

A word here, a word there, /

But venison I must play with care.

#pun #cartoon #deer #meat #venison #santa #holidays #humor #christmas #davidebooker #121221

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Filed under 2021, Cartoon, humor, poetry, Poetry by David E. Booker, puns

Saturday silliness: “Unloose the Zeus”

Unloose the Zeus

upon these Olympic games.

Make room for his use;

to leave him out is our shame.

He’s the reason for the season,

be it winter or be it summer.

To ban him is but treason

and nothing short of a bummer.

Unloose the Zeus.

Do it now, I command.

And don your birthday suits,

play the games as originally planned.

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Filed under 2016, 2021, humor, Poetry by David E. Booker, Saturday, Silly Saturday

No pussyfooting around here

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Filed under 2021, humor

Write in ballots

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Filed under 2020, Cartoon, humor

Next time

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Filed under 2019, humor

Tickld Mobile – 25 Signs Made Funnier By People. Number 7 Is Priceless.

Tickld Mobile – 25 Signs Made Funnier By People. Number 7 Is Priceless..

Sign language.

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Filed under humor

Photo Finish Friday: “Portal”

In the hedge lay adventure.

In the hedge lay adventure.

Robbie said, “Ain’t so.”

“Is too,” Ray said back.

Robbie and Ray were each six years old. Robbie was a few months older, and on occasions like this, he like to remind Ray of that. They just weren’t sure what this occasion was. Still, Robbie was asserting his role as elder statesman to tell Ray he was wrong.

“It’s like Nose legend.,” Ray said “You know, that great fight called Rag in a rock.”

“This got nothin’ to do with that,” Robbie said. “Ain’t nothin’ more than a strange cut in the hedge for that box.”

“It’s a portal, I tell you. And those Nose gods will come pourin’ through it to do battle with them frost giants and there will be an army of Gideon.”

“Who’s that?” Robbie asked.

Ray shrugged. “Some guy who can pour armies.”

“Ain’t no army goin’ to come pourin’ out of that hole in the hedge. It don’t even go all the way through.”

“It’s still a portal,” Ray said, “and if you go and sit in it for six hours, you will see it: happening. I dare ya’. I double dog dare ya!”

Not one to turn down a double dog dare, Robbie snuck up on the rectangular. And to show he wasn’t scared at all, he climbed into the hole in the fence. He tried several different poses and a few words he wasn’t supposed to.

After thirty minutes, Robbie fell asleep in the portal. After another ten minutes had passed, Ray left and walked back to the family picnic where he immediately ate his ice cream allotment and Robbie’s, too.

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Filed under humor, Photo by author, Story by author