What tome is Santa bringing you?
Hello, Customer Service
“Customer Service.”
“I need to return a savior.”
“Store credit or cash?”
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#haiku #poem #poetry #poem
#senryu #writing #writer #davidebooker #customerservice #savior #cash #store #december #wednesday #2019 #return #122119
Filed under 2019, haiku, humor, poem, poetry, poetry by author, Poetry by David E. Booker
Good eats
I’m nuts about here. /
Sunflower seeds are healthy, /
Help me scatter birds.
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#haiku #poem #poetry #poet #writing #writer #davidebooker #naturephotography #squirrel #birdfeeder #seeds #nuts #pun #december #thursday #2019 #120519
Oh, my balls…
Oh, my balls are a tangled mess /
Clattered together like a car wreck compress. /
Oh, my balls are twisted tight. /
Not really painful, but oh, what a sight. /
Oh, my balls are dangling there /
Unable to move in the moaning air. /
Yes, my balls are one big wad. /
They’d be blue if attached to a bod. /
But thankfully, they’re just hanging there, /
Bunched up on their rack without a care.
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#101321 #balls #poem #humor #photo #davidebooker #october
Road closed due to kudzu. /
Honest, minister, I couldn’t get through. /
There I was on an uphill climb, /
Fighting Satan and making time. /
When what to astonished eyes should appear — /
A shortcut through underbrush. It was so clear. /
I was certain I had found the way, /
And, for once, I wouldn’t be late today. /
I rounded a curve, started a steep decline /
When all at once, there was this sign. /
“Road closed” it perfunctorily said. /
I squealed to a stop: my hopes were dead. /
For wound tight round that sign /
And growing as if Satan’s Devine /
Was that dreaded kudzu, minister. /
The vine that grows with no resister. /
I sprang from my car, the Lord’s sword in hand, /
And beat back the Devil in a pitched battle grand. /
I’d swing and strike and smite the evil. /
Onward I fought until I spied the steeple. /
Satan sent more of his legion of vines. /
I struggled mightily, but fell behind. /
Finally, my Hail Mary, came to my aid. /
I found something mightier than the holy blade. /
A match and some gasoline were my salvation. /
Fight fire with fire was my divination. /
I heard the leaves curl and writhe in pain. /
Satan would not stop me, not now or again. /
The flames were beautiful, they rose up high. /
It was a wonder that I can’t deny. /
But now, minister, you see, we must flee, /
For those damn flames are following me. /
They’re right behind me, high up to the clouds /
And no hymn will save us, even sung very loud. /
So say, Amen, and get the flock out of here. /
I’ll meet you at the corner bar for a shot and a beer.
092522
Tunashamed
Yes, I have been tunashamed.
They descended upon me like ranchers with mange.
They said stop eating that fish, you fool.
Beef’s the only golden rule.
A burger now, a meatloaf later.
Or you’ll be eating exotic gater.
A steak to the heart is the way to go.
This even a vampire knows.
An eye of round, a pound of chuck.
Such cuts of beef will bewitch your luck.
Tender as a filet mignon
Can warm your loins when the nights are long.
No deer, no rabbit, no pheasant will do
When you make a manly stew.
Yes, I have been tunashamed.
I wear the sticker; I can’t complain.
I must do my penance now,
So that later I can eat the cow.
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#satire #poem #rhyming #beef #tuna #shamed #tunashamed #borrowedohoto #davidebooker #september #thurdsday #090822
Filed under 2022, humor, photo, poetry, Poetry by David E. Booker
Haikubaru
The Haikubaru — /
fully versed in getting you /
there in metered style.
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#pun #humor #haikubaru #verse #meter #poem #poetry #haiku #davidebooker #august #wednesday #081022 #2022
Filed under 2022, haiku, humor, humor and haiku, photo, poem, poetry, Poetry by David E. Booker
Oh, Cindy Lou
The Grinch met his end. /
Cindy Lou Who, was it you?/
Heartless mystery.
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#haiku #poem #poetry #thursday #august #2020 #drseuss #cindylouwho #grinch #davidebooker #photooftheday #mystery #oldnorthknoxville #knoxville #tennessee #whoville #murder #080620
Hey
“Hey, would you buzz off?” /
One bee said to another. /
Flowering friendship.
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#buzz #friendship #bee #flower #photo #poem #poetry #haiku #davidebooker #oldnorthknoxville #072518
Filed under 2018, haiku, humor, Old North Knoxville, photo, photo by David E. Booker, poem, poetry, Poetry by David E. Booker
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