Category Archives: humor

In a slump

My bowels had been in a slump.

Now, I so needed to take a dump.

I ran to the nearest men’s room

Only to face dread and certain doom.

A sign I saw posted there

Made its sole declare:

“Closed for a private event. Our apologies.”

Now, now, how could this event be?

When be an event rumbling in me.

Rumbling to manifest itself

Soon in my light pants’ shelf.

I cried to the heavenly powers.

How could this be as this desperate hour?

My flight leaves in a just a short bit.

I had just enough time to give a sh–.

Now I hop like a bunny at Easter

A turd egg stuck suspended up in my keister.

And if I didn’t lay it soon.

I’d be stuck here until well past noon.

By then my flight would be in the air

And my dark egg settled in my underwear.

With my urgency driving me blind

I decided to rush past the sign.

What’s the worst they could do?

If you only I knew, only I knew….

To this day, I am still struck dumb.

The words are there, but won’t come.

The sight was beyond comprehension

I no longer had to lay a declension.

I pivoted and ran away.

And still to this very day.

I can’t enter an airport commode

Even if my nether did explode.

I curl into a fetal position

And accept my painful condition

Or I camp in the airplane restroom

As I feel the plane go zoom, zoom.

The rumbling of the engine’s roar

Gently nudges my bowls to explore.

Soon over the Great Divide

My waste is allowed to glide.

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