Category Archives: dialogue

by David E. Booker

1) It’s not conversation. In his book, On Writing: Advice to Those Who Write to Publish (Or Would Like to), George V. Higgins, known for his dialogue, advises developing an ear for dialogue, but that dialogue in stories is not simply conversation lifted from daily life and dropped into a story.

Normal speech is full of too many “uhs, ahs, and other sounds that are verbal place holders and don’t really have any place in fictional dialogue. Also, normal speech is full of “small talk.” Things like, “Hi, how are you? How’s the husband and kids? It sure looks like the team will have a good season this year.” All things meant to keep the lines of communication open, psychologists might say, but are of little use in furthering your story. In short, good dialogue moves the story forward. Asking about the family or saying the team will have a good year only keeps the story in place.

A corollary to this is the “As you know, Fred” dialogue, which is dialogue between two people who know the information being conveyed, but they are conveying it, anyway, for the sake of the reader, who doesn’t know. Science fiction can many times be guilty of this when two scientists of the same discipline, say particle physics, “converse” with each other about what a particle is.

2) It’s often what you don’t say. Subtext is the hidden force of any scene of a story or movie. As the noted script writer and teacher, Robert McKee says, “If a scene is about what a scene is about, then the scene is dead.”

For example, if two people are engaged in changing a tire and all they talk about is tire changing, then the scene is dead. However, if during that scene, one member is gruff to the other one and eventually says the flat was his fault for not checking the tires to begin with, then you have an emotional charge running through the scene and dialogue is then used to convey that emotional charge, the subtext is the tug of war of one person trying to blame another and how the person being blamed reacts or handles the accusation.

3) It’s okay to only use “said” and “asked.” Many writers learning their craft try to spice up a scene by having their characters express their dialogue with: he espoused, she guffawed, he trumpeted, she queried, etc. This will only slow down a scene. It should be: he said, or he asked, if it is a question. One exception might be: she yelled. But other than these, if the scene does not convey the right intensity with which your characters should be speaking, then there is something amiss in the scene, and it won’t be fixed by exchanging “she said” for “she espoused.”

In fact there are some writers, such as the late Robert B. Parker, who use only “he said” or “she said,” even where there was a question. He figured the use of the question mark at the end of the spoken sentence was clue enough.

And please note, by saying “he” or “she,” I am not saying never use the speaker’s name. particularly when somebody is speaking for the first time in a scene, it is often recommended that the text read, “Bob said” or “Alice asked.”

There are certainly other suggestions for creating good dialogue, but mastering these three will put you on your way to having dialogue that moves the story forward and adds a good boast to your writing.