Category Archives: Cartoon

The Philosoper and growing up

8Philosopher_96_GrewUp

No April Fool this philosopher.

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Found story: Cat-ching a conversation

No cat, not human

What do you mean you don't have a cat? Aren't you human?

Overheard conversation at a cat show where there were over 250 cats representing about 40 different breeds.

Cat fancier to an eight-year-old girl: “Do you have a cat?”

Eight-year-old girl: “No, but I have two guinea pigs.”

Cat fancier: “Cats and guinea pigs can get along.”

Girl: “I also have two dogs.”

Fancier: “Cats and dogs can get along.”

Girl: “I also have two birds.”

Fancier, frowning slightly: “Well, maybe sometime in the future you can have a cat.”

I wonder if Noah had the same problem.

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The Devil’s Dictionary: Big hats and Cause and Effect and Education

Every now and then, it is good to revisit a classic, or even a curiosity from the past. The Devil’s Dictionary by Ambrose Bierce was originally published in newspaper installments from 1881 until 1906. You might be surprised how current many of the entries are.

For example, here is a definition for the word miscreant The Old definition is Bierce’s. The New definition or comment are mine. From time to time, just as it was originally published, we will come back to The Devil’s Dictionary, for a look at it then and how it applies today. Click on Devil’s Dictionary in the tags below to bring up the other entries.

OLD DEFINITION:
Effect, n. The second of two phenomena which always occur together in the same order. The first, called a Cause, is said to generate the other — which is no more sensible than it would be for one who has never seen a dog except in pursuit of a rabbit to declare the rabbit the cause of the dog.

NEW DEFINITION:
Post hoc, ergo propter hoc

After it, therefore because of it. The link above takes you to a video highlighting the same thing as discussed in in the Old Definition, showing that things have not changed all that much.

Conclusion: some things never change. Maybe due to a lack of education.

OLD DEFINITION:
Education, n. That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.

NEW DEFINITION:
Education, n. That which the foolish, most conservative and mostly Republican, believe is wise to wreck on behalf of faith is something unseen, basically fear and prejudice. See the Tennessee State Legislatures attempt to recreate “Monkey Laws.”

I'm a state legislator and I know science better than anyone.

Post hoc ergo propter hoc: "I'm a Republican state legislator and I can stand in the way of education, therefore, I am better than education."

http://www.knoxnews.com/news/2012/mar/19/anti-evolution-class-discussions-get-senates-ok/

Anti-evolution class discussions get Senate’s OK

By Tom Humphrey

Monday, March 19, 2012

NASHVILLE — The Senate approved a bill Monday evening that deals with teaching of evolution and other scientific theories while the House approved legislation authorizing cities and counties to display the Ten Commandments in public buildings.

The Senate voted 24-8 for HB368, which sponsor Sen. Bo Watson, R-Hixson, says will provide guidelines for teachers answering students’ questions about evolution, global warming and other scientific subjects. Critics call it a “monkey bill” that promotes creationism in classrooms.

The bill was approved in the House last year but now must return to that body for concurrence on a Senate amendment that made generally minor changes. One says the law applies to scientific theories that are the subject of “debate and disputation” — a phrase replacing the word “controversial” in the House version.

The measure also guarantees that teachers will not be subject to discipline for engaging students in discussion of questions they raise, though Watson said the idea is to provide guidelines so that teachers will bring the discussion back to the subjects authorized for teaching in the curriculum approved by the state Board of Education.

All eight no votes came from Democrats, some of whom raised questions about the bill during brief debate.

Sen. Tim Barnes, D-Clarksville, said he was concerned that the measure was put forward “not for scientific reasons but for political reasons.” And Sen. Andy Berke, D-Chattanooga, said teachers were doing just fine teaching science without the Legislature’s involvement.

“We are simply dredging up the problems of the past with this bill and that will affect our teachers in the future,” Berke said.

Watson said the purpose of the legislation is to encourage teachers in helping their students learn to challenge and debate ideas to “improve their thinking skills.”

Critics of the HB368 labeling the measure “monkey bill” ranged from the American Civil Liberties Union to the National Center for Science Education. In a statement sent to legislators, the eight Tennesseans who are members of the National Academy of Science said that, in practice, the bill will likely lead to “scientifically unwarranted criticisms of evolution.”

“By undermining the teaching of evolution in Tennessee’s public schools, HB368 and SB893 would miseducate students, harm the state’s national reputation, and weaken its efforts to compete in a science-driven global economy,” said the statement signed by Stanley Cohen, who won the Nobel Prize in physiology of medicine in 1986, and seven other scientists.

The bill authorizing display of the Ten Commandments in public buildings — HB2658 — is sponsored by Rep. Matthew Hill, R-Jonesborough, who said it is in line with court rulings. In essence, courts have often declared displays of the biblical commandments unconstitutional standing along, but permissible as part of a display of “historic documents.”

The bill authorizes all local governments to display “historic documents” and specifically lists the commandments as being included.

Hill said the bill will prevent city and county governments from “being intimidated any further by special interest groups” opposed to displaying of the Ten Commandments. It passed 93-9 and now goes to the Senate.

****

Commentary: Republicans DO NOT want smaller government. They simply want THEIR form of Big (Brother) Government. One where they govern your thoughts and morality. Your gun may be loaded, but your brain will be full of blanks.

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Filed under Ambrose Bierce, Blank, Cartoon, cause, Devil's Dictionary, educated, education, effect, GOP, Republicans, Uncategorized

Nothing and the Philosopher

Do Nothing and do it one piece at a time.

Doing nothing should not be rushed.

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Filed under Cartoon, humor, Philosopher

The heist of some lifetime

Dear Congress,

I want my hour back.
The one you stole from me
To take up all the slack
Of saving energy.

A supercilious stance
Of the previous administration
Is giving me morning headaches
And hours of constipation.

Spring has not yet sprung
But an “extra” hour blooms
We’re supposed to use less fossil fuels
But you were a fool to assume.

You now fight over light bulbs
Some invoking “my right to chose.”
Yet, when robbing me of one hour,
You said I had nothing to lose.

There is no proof this hour
Is saving the country power.
I get up in the night, turn on several lights
As I make my way to the shower.

I use more electricity
As I start each day of work
All because you fell asleep
And forgot to think. What jerks.

You pander to the lobbyist
And engage in high mediocrity.
All the time wasting hours
On political pomposity.

By making daylight longer.
As I’m driving more for less
On gas I’ve forced to squander
While you show little or no regrets.

I’m losing sleep because I cannot be
Awake while the sun still shines
But with a jerk, the hour to start work
Finds me ever more behind.

I want my hour back.
The one you stole from me
And do not counterattack
With your light bulb skullduggery.

Even though my eyes are bleary
And my outlook a bit less cheery
I can still see quite clearly
And let you know sincerely:

I want my hour back.
The one you stole from me
To take up all the slack
Of saving energy.

They stole an hour from me

The heist of some lifetime

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Filed under Cartoon, heist, humor, poem, poetry, political humor, politicians, satire, story poem, theater of the absurd

Super Tuesday Wrap Up

Super Tuesday Wrap Up cartoon

The Summation of Super Tuesday

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Wealthy, motivated by greed, are more likely to cheat, study finds

People of higher status are more prone to cheating, taking candy from children and failing to wait their turn at four-way stops, a UC Berkeley experiment finds.

http://www.latimes.com/news/science/la-sci-0228-greed-20120228,0,5965885.story?track=icymi

By Eryn Brown, Los Angeles Times

7:07 PM PST, February 27, 2012

The rich really are different from the rest of us, scientists have found — they are more apt to commit unethical acts because they are more motivated by greed.

People driving expensive cars were more likely than other motorists to cut off drivers and pedestrians at a four-way-stop intersection in the San Francisco Bay Area, UC Berkeley researchers observed. Those findings led to a series of experiments that revealed that people of higher socioeconomic status were also more likely to cheat to win a prize, take candy from children and say they would pocket extra change handed to them in error rather than give it back.

Because rich people have more financial resources, they’re less dependent on social bonds for survival, the Berkeley researchers reported Monday in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. As a result, their self-interest reigns and they have fewer qualms about breaking the rules.

“If you occupy a more insular world, you’re less likely to be sensitive to the needs of others,” said study lead author Paul Piff, who is studying for a doctorate in psychology.

But before those in the so-called 99% start feeling ethically superior, consider this: Piff and his colleagues also discovered that anyone’s ethical standards could be prone to slip if they suddenly won the lottery and joined the top 1%.

“There is a strong notion that when people don’t have much, they’re really looking out for themselves and they might act unethically,” said Scott Wiltermuth, who researches social status at USC’s Marshall School of Business and wasn’t involved in the study. “But actually, it’s the upper-class people that are less likely to see that people around them need help — and therefore act unethically.”

In earlier studies, Piff documented that wealthy people were less likely to act generously than relatively impoverished people. With this research, he hoped to find out whether wealthy people would also prioritize self-interest if it meant breaking the rules.

The driving experiments offered a way to test the hypothesis “naturalistically,” he said. Trained observers hid near a downtown Berkeley intersection and noted the makes, model years and conditions of bypassing cars. Then they recorded whether drivers waited their turn.

It turned out that people behind the wheels of the priciest cars were four times as likely as drivers of the least expensive cars to enter the intersection when they didn’t have the right of way. The discrepancy was even greater when it came to a pedestrian trying to exercise a right of way.

There is a significant correlation between the price of a car and the social class of its driver, Piff said. Still, how fancy a car looks isn’t a perfect indicator of wealth.

So back in the laboratory, Piff and his colleagues conducted five more tests to measure unethical behavior — and to connect that behavior to underlying attitudes toward greed.

For instance, the team used a standard questionnaire to get college students to assess their own socioeconomic status and asked how likely subjects were to behave unethically in eight different scenarios.

In one of the quandaries, students were asked to imagine that they bought coffee and a muffin with a $10 bill but were handed change for a $20. Would they keep the money?

In another hypothetical scenario, students realized their professor made a mistake in grading an exam and gave them an A instead of the B they deserved. Would they ask for a grade change?

The patterns from the road held true in the lab — those most willing to engage in unethical behavior were the ones with the highest social status.

One possible explanation was that wealthy people are simply more willing to acknowledge their selfish side. But that wasn’t the issue here. When test subjects of any status were asked to imagine themselves at a high social rank, they helped themselves to more candies from a jar they were told was meant for children in another lab.

Another experiment recruited people from Craigslist to play a “game of chance” that the researchers had rigged. People who reported higher social class were more likely to have favorable attitudes toward greed — and were more likely to cheat at the game.

“The patterns were just so consistent,” Piff said. “It was very, very compelling.”

Piff, who is writing a paper about attitudes toward the Occupy movement, said that his team had been accused of waging class warfare from time to time.

“Berkeley has a certain reputation, so yeah, we get that,” he said.

But rather than vilify the wealthy, Piff said, he hopes his work leads to policies that help bridge the gap between the haves and have-nots.

Acts as simple as watching a movie about childhood poverty seem to encourage people of all classes to help others in need, he said.

eryn.brown@latimes.com

Copyright © 2012, Los Angeles Times

==========================================

Conclusions:

And these are my own.

1) I particularly like the comment about the wealthy being more likely to take candy meant for a kid. The cartoons and comedies I saw as a kid showing just this sort of act weren’t that far off target.

2) With enough wealth, as the article states, we could be just like most of the wealthy in the study: more unethical than we are.

3) Seems to me the beginnings of a good case for some sort of — dare I say it — wealth redistribution. Seems it might just be good for a democratic republic like ours. Do it until we at least get the candy back, and maybe a little while longer.

4) Maybe the Occupy Wall Street people are on to something.

5) Cartoon commentary:

If you can't spare a donation...

The emptiness you feel may be real.

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Filed under Cartoon, Commentary, L.A. Times, Random thought, redistribution, wealth

The blathering idiot has more questions

Just the other day, the blathering idiot had some time to kill, though he wasn’t sure it was alive to begin with, and while pondering the philosophical depths of life, came across questions for which he could not find answers. Below are a few more of those questions.

How come you can beat the odds, but never the evens?

How come formatting something means to put it in some sort of structure, but to reformat something means to wipe away all the structure?

How come falling in love leads only to a broken heart?

How come you can take a turn, but never give one?

How come you can fancy something, but are always told to speak plainly?

How come you can give a damn, but never take one?

After you put on airs, how do you take them off?

How come you can go for broke, but have to stop on a dime?

This is too hard to think about

This may be too hard to think about

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Filed under blathering idiot, Cartoon, humor, question of the day, questions, word play

Cartoon: Giving Your All

Giving Your All

Giving Your All is easier to give your all when somebody or some corporate entity has already taken it.

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The blathering idiot and cornucopia’s delight

“Why don’t we have pet names for each other?” Zoey asked.

The blathering idiot’s on again, off again girl friend appeared very concerned with the answer to this question. Unfortunately, he did not have one: answer or pet name. He did know that Valentine’s Day was coming, and being short of cash, he proposed this idea: “What if we give each other pet names for Valentine’s Day?”

Zoey nodded, then added, “But I think we should make it a little more sporting. We each come up with a pet name for the other person and whoever comes up with the best one, gets to pick his or her own pet name, which the other one has to use in public.”

“No matter what?” he asked.

“No matter what.”

The blathering idiot felt acid pour into his stomach and forgot to ask who would be the judge.

It was 48 hours to Valentine’s Day and the blathering idiot had no idea how to begin. Where did people get “pet names” anyway? Didn’t they just make them up?

The blathering idiot tried making up a pet name. He filled up pages and pages of names he scratched down and then scratched out. But the ones he liked best: indigo eyes and violet lips would have forced him to get a new girl friend and he didn’t think that’s what Valentine’s Day was about.

Cornucopia's delight

Terms of endearment

He pulled a dictionary off the library reference shelf, and frantically rifled through it, scanning and flipping pages as fast as he could. It was less than a day to V-Day and he felt the acid in his stomach was about to eat through his brain. Somehow, cornucopia’s delight, while different, was a little hard to say regularly.

Xenia, Zoey’s daughter, was at the library, and seeing the blathering idiot in such a lather, she took pity on him. She walked up to him and told she would give him the same list she had given her mother, a list she had printed off the Internet.

The list was in three columns, the first column with the names; the second column saying if was a female “term of endearment,” a male one, or both; the third column was for comment and usually had the word “caution” or words “explicitly suggestive” beside the terms that could be a problem. There were seven pages of these terms. The blathering idiot had no idea there were so many pet names (terms of endearment).

He immediately eliminated the terms cuddly wuddly, cutesy chick, cutesy pie, cutie pie (Did there really have to be two such ugly terms so closely related?), and cutie patootie. Anything that sounded like it might even remotely be referring to a body part would get him trouble.

He also eliminated sugar plum, sugar pie (What is it with pie?) sugar lips, sugar britches, sugar bun, and sugar booger because they all mentioned sugar, and Zoey had been complaining lately of being fat. Plus, to the blathering idiot, there was no way to make booger sound good.

Anything with baby in the phrase was also eliminated because she sometimes referred to Xenia as “her little baby,” which irritated Xenia no end. Of course, those terms with baby in them were the first ones Xenia suggested.

The blathering idiot also eliminated terms with flowers in them, especially buttercup, since it had both butter and was a flower. Zoey already had Xenia, and that was the only flower name she wanted in her life, unless they came in a bouquet.

The night before he was to meet with Zoey to decide who had the better “pet name,” the blathering idiot couldn’t sleep. He walked around his house saying all sorts of names out loud.

“Cherub?”

No. He wasn’t sure what that was, which probably meant he’d be in for it even before he got in to it.

“Bunny?”

No.

“Honey bunny?”

Definitely not.

“Love muffin?”

While he would love a muffin right about now, it being one of his favorite foods, it was still a food, and she knew muffins were one of his favorite foods, so he knew she’d be wondering if he was seeing her or a pumpkin chocolate chip muffin every time he said it. And truth be told, it was sometimes easier to picture himself with a muffin than with her.

Several hours later, in the wee hours of the morning, his voice hoarse and his thoughts a watercolor blur, he collapsed into a chair, the terms of endearment on the desk table beside him.

The next evening, dressed in a shirt, tie, and dress pants, he met Zoey at the appointed time in the appointed restaurant.

He wasn’t quite sure who should speak first, and he guessed neither did she.

Finally, she said, “Who should go first?”

The blathering idiot quickly took a sip of water, but then decided to get it over with. He first started off explaining everything he had gone through to get to his conclusion, but long before he was near his conclusion, Zoey was drumming her fingers on the table.

Finally, she said, “What did you decide?”

The blathering idiot quickly took another sip of water.

Unable to think of anything – he’d even left the list at home – he blurted out the first thing that came to mind: “Cornucopia’s delight.”

Except it didn’t come out quite that way. Instead it came out “Corn and peas deli.”

Stunned for a moment, Zoey then laughed and laughed and laughed, but in short order told him that if he didn’t take their relationship any more seriously than that, she never wanted to see him again.

Just then a tray of muffins came by the table, and the blathering idiot decided he’d think about those for a while.

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Filed under blathering idiot, Cartoon, cornucopia, humor, pet names, Valentine's day