Category Archives: 2015

Monday morning writing joke: “Add vice”

There once was a woman of advice /

Whose words calmed others’ toil and strife. /

Then one day on a dare /

She found her husband having an affair. /

Now, she’s doing twenty to life.

***

A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named “Ahmal.” The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him “Juan.” Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, “They’re twins! If you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Ahmal.”

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“Holly’s Corner,” part 4

[Writer’s note: What began as a writing prompt — photo and first paragraph — has become at least the start of a story. I will endeavor to add short sections to it, at lest as long as there is some interest. It might be a little rough in parts, but that’s because it is coming “hot off the press,” which could be part of the fun of it. In the meantime, you are free to jump off from any part of this story thus far and write your own version. Click Holly’s Corner below to get Parts 1 – 3.]

by David E. Booker

Rainy day down on the corner.

Rainy day down on the corner.

I brushed my hands together and only managed to smear the mud in one palm on the other. My pants were wet. So was my rain jacket and baseball cap. I brushed my hands down the sides of my jacket and then stepped inside Holly’s.

Plans were for me to meet my new client here. We had only talked on the phone. I had no idea what she looked like. I stood inside the doorway, dripping on the concrete floor. Holly’s had once been a bar called The Corner Lounge, then a used bookstore with a poster of Cormac McCarthy and the words “McCarthy for President” underneath it. Rumor had it that McCarthy used to visit The Corner Lounge when he lived in Knoxville. Now all that remained of the Lounge was a dark, curved wooden bar where you placed your food orders. McCarthy probably didn’t hang out here on the infrequent occasions he came back to town.

“Hey, are you looking for me?”

I pivoted. Water flew off the bill of my ball cap and hit a woman squarely in the eye. She flinched.

“Are you—?”

“Tricia,” she said as she rubbed her eye. “It’s usually the second date before I let the guy poke me in the eye.”

“Technically, it wasn’t a poke.” Another rivulet of rainwater ran off the bill of the cap. This one fell harmlessly to the floor.

“You going to argue with a client?”

“I haven’t introduced myself.”

“I saw the rolling pin woman through the window. I couldn’t help but laugh when you dived into the mud.”

I felt a little heat come into my ears.

“How cute,” Tricia said, her eyesight back to normal.

“Glad I could entertain.”

(To be continued.)

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Photo finish Friday: “Evening at Cades Cove”

Sunset in Cades Cove, Smoky Mountains National Park on September 19, 2015.

Sunset in Cades Cove, Smoky Mountains National Park on September 19, 2015.

Gray clouds smoke the sky. /

Fiery orange exalts the horizon. /

Earth imbibes shadows.

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Haiku to you Thursday: “All that is…”

All that is absurd /

falls. All that is not descends /

gracefully to rest.

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Writing tip Wednesday: An agent to consider

Danielle Burby
dburby@hsgagency.com

Source: http://hsgagency.com/

Danielle Burdy

Danielle Burdy

Danielle graduated from Hamilton College with honors and a double major in Creative Writing and Women’s Studies. Before finding her home at HSG, she interned at Writers House, Clarion Books, Faye Bender Literary Agency, Dunow Carlson and Lerner, John Wiley and Sons, and SquareOne Publishers (along with stints as a waitress and a farmers’ market vendor).

Her passion lies in YA, Women’s Fiction, and mysteries. She gravitates toward stories with a strong voice and particularly enjoys complex female characters, narratives that explore social issues, and coming-of-age stories. Genres that appeal to her include contemporary YA, medieval fantasy, historical fiction, cozy mysteries, and upmarket Women’s Fiction. She finds it hard to resist gorgeous writing and is a sucker for romantic plotlines that are an element of the narrative, but don’t dominate it.

Danielle was involved in way too many singing groups in college and is always up for karaoke. She also enjoys both tea and coffee, managing to defy the naysayers who claim they’re an either-or thing. She is, however, distinctly a chocolate person. You can follow her on twitter at @danielleburby.

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cARtOONSdAY: “sHE gASPED”

A write in candidate.

A write in candidate.

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Monday morning writing joke: “Musical interlude”

Patient: “Doc, I can’t stop singing ‘The Green, Green Grass of Home.'”

Doctor: “That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome.”

Patient: “Is it common?”

Doctor: “Well, ‘It’s Not Unusual.'”

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Parts 1 – 3 of “Holly’s Corner”

[Writer’s note: What began as a writing prompt — photo and first paragraph — has become at least the start of a story. I will endeavor to add short sections to it, at lest as long as there is some interest. It might be a little rough in parts, but that’s because it is coming “hot off the press,” which could be part of the fun of it. In the meantime, you are free to jump off from any part of this story thus far and write your own version.]

by David E. Booker

Rainy day down on the corner.

Rainy day down on the corner.

It was a cool, rainy day down at Holly’s Corner. Not quite a dark and stormy night, but close enough to encourage you to stop in something to eat and a bit of warmth. I was just about to step inside when a white car eased up to the corner of Fulton and N. Central. I didn’t like the look of the car and I liked less the look of the woman behind the wheel.

She scowled and pointed something with a large barrel at me as she rounded the corner onto Central. Bolt into Holly’s or dive into the dead flowers beside a car parked in front the restaurant were my two choices.

The passenger side car window slid down.

The rain picked up in intensity. I could feel it tapping on my shoulders as if to catch my attention and say, “Now, stupid. Decide now … or be dead.”

The car was almost parallel with me. I caught a whiff of its acrid exhaust. The woman had her best angle; her cleanest shot. And that’s when I realized she was pointing a rolling pin at me. Mud and the petal from a dead flower splattered me in the face as I landed half on the sidewalk and half in the raised bordered flower bed. Considering where the board hit, my gait would never be the same.

“Hey, stupid,” the woman said, “get out of the dirt.”

“Mud,” I said, rolling over onto my side, then back.

A car horn blared, so I didn’t hear what the rolling pin woman said next. I think it was “get up,” which I was doing.

“That woman is a … (Another car horn blared as the car swerved around the stopped white car.) … she doesn’t deserve it. It’s my book!”

She was still pointing the rolling pin at me as drove on, probably because a police cruiser was easing up Central toward her position.

I brushed my hands together and only managed to smear the mud in one palm on the other. My pants were wet. So was my rain jacket and baseball cap. I brushed my hands down the sides of my jacket and then stepped inside Holly’s.

Plans were for me to meet my new client here. We had only talked on the phone. I had no idea what she looked like. I stood just inside the doorway,

(To be continued.)

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The Devil’s Dictionary: “Werewolf”

In our continuing quest to revisit a classic, or even a curiosity from the past and see how relevant it is, we continue with The Devil’s Dictionary by Ambrose Bierce. Originally published in newspaper installments from 1881 until 1906. You might be surprised how current many of the entries are.

A young Ambrose Bierce

A young Ambrose Bierce

For example, here is a definition for the word Werewolf. The Old definition is Bierce’s. The New definitions is, in many cases, an update. Sometimes little change is needed. Sometimes more. From time to time, just as it was originally published, we will come back to The Devil’s Dictionary, for a look at it then and how it applies today. Click on Devil’s Dictionary in the tags below to bring up the other entries.

OLD DEFINITION
Werewolf, n. A wolf that was once, or is sometimes, a man. All werewolves are of evil disposition, having assumed a bestial form to gratify a bestial appetite, but some, transformed by sorcery, are as humane and is consistent with an acquired taste for human flesh. Some Bavarian peasants having caught a wolf one evening, tied it to a post by the tail and went to bed. The next morning nothing was there! Greatly perplexed, they consulted the local priest, who told them that their captive was undoubtedly a werewolf and had resumed its human for during the night. “The next time that you take a wolf,” the good man said, “see that you chain it by the leg, and in the morning you will find a Lutheran.”.

NEW DEFINITION
Werewolf, n. A politician that was once, or is sometimes, a man (or woman). All werewolves are of evil disposition, having assumed a bestial form to gratify a bestial appetite, but some, transformed by sorcery, are as humane (or high-functioning sociopath) and is consistent with an acquired taste for human flesh. Some neighbors having caught a wolf one evening, tied it to a post by the tail and went to bed. The next morning nothing was there! Greatly perplexed, they consulted the local priest, who told them that their captive was undoubtedly a werewolf and had resumed its human for during the night. “The next time that you take a wolf,” the good man said, “see that you chain it by the leg, and in the morning you will find a ‘Christian’ politician.”

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Photo finish Friday: “Holly’s”

It was a cool, rainy day down at Holly's Corner.

It was a cool, rainy day down at Holly’s Corner.

It was a cool, rainy day down at Holly’s Corner. Not quite a dark and stormy night, but close enough to encourage you to stop in something to eat and a bit of warmth. I was just about to step inside when a white car eased up tot he corner of Fulton and N. Central. I didn’t like the look of the car and I liked less the look of the person behind the wheel.

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Filed under 2015, photo by David E. Booker, Photo Finish Friday