“No popcorn, no pets”

No popcorn, no pets

No popcorn, no pets,

No baseball, no regrets,

Rapture to heaven

Is no Seven / Eleven.

No Slushies, no Mars bars,

No pizza, no beer bars.

In heaven, the best

Beat their bloody chests

And sing hosanna

At the absence of fauna.

Nothing to make you sneeze

As you fall to your knees.

Fluffy’s on Earth

About to give birth

And if you want us to care,

Put your money there

On the web site line,

So Fluffy will be fine.

When to heaven you go

But your pets are a no-no,

We will watch them with love

While you’re in heaven above.

We atheists who remain

Or Hindus or Jaynes,

Or Jews or Buddhists

Or even the occasional nudist,

We will take care of your pets

So you’ll have no regrets,

No guilt on your soul,

Because you will know

Your Fuffy is fine

As long as your dimes shine.

070922