• An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the television, getting drunk, and smoking cigars.
• A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.
• A bar was walked into by the passive voice.
• An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.
• Two quotation marks walk into a “bar.”
Filed under 2020, Monday morning writing joke
All is calm, all is bright. /
Tree is up and full of light. /
Blinded my neighbor across the street. /
His retinas are fried like old, dried meat. /
Santa, come and visit me soon. /
This tree’s so bright, it’s an envy of the moon. /
I’ve been good, the best I’ve been yet. /
I only have one or two things I regret. /
The body in the basement, well that doesn’t count. /
She ticked me off with her bouncy flounce. /
And that man in the meat locker, he was frigid to me. /
Said I had COVID. Now how can that be? /
No, Santa, I have been very very good. /
My tree is bright. My wants be as they should. /
All is calm, all is bright /
Unless you pass me by on this special night.
Filed under 2020, Photo Finish Friday, Poetry by David E. Booker
There once was a writer named Elf,
Who wanted to see all his books up on the shelf.
In bookstores and in homes
He wanted his stories to roam.
So he hid them among Santa’s present wealth.
Time, once again (it has been a couple of months), for New words to live by. This is a word or phrase not currently in use in the U.S. English lexicon, but might need to be considered. Other words, such as predestitweetalism, slug monkey, obsurd, crumpify, subsus, flib, congressed, tantrumony, and others, can be found by clicking on the tags below. Today’s New Word is created by taking two nouns and creating a new word. In this instance, the new word does not borrow from the names of the old words, but from their definitions. Without further waiting here is the new word: confuddle.
OLD WORDS
confused adj. exhibiting or feeling an inability to comprehend or understand; perplexed, bewildered.
befuddle verb. to confuse, as with glib arguments or nonsensical statements. Other forms include befuddled and befuddling.
NEW WORD
confuddle, n. when you mix a verb and an adjective, you get a noun. In this case meaning a person left feeling mentally unable to comprehend the befuddling words or action of another.
Used in a sentence: Noun. The politician refused to accept the reality that his party lost the presidential election, continuing to spew unsubstantiated lies and refusing to recognize the winner. Such childish actions only served to confuddle his constituents.
Filed under 2020, new word, New words to live by
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